I would be a liar if i were to say i wouldn't have the same feelings you do. I have some very strong feelings about the topic of me and dh having a kid of our own at some point. I have made it clear that the purpose of me and dh having a kid in the future is NOT to give SD "a sibling" but to start a family of our own. I really wouldn't be flattered if we had a kid and everyone said it looked like sd. I would be very annoyed.

when people say how much they look alike they're probably either 1.just saying it to be polite because they don't know what else to say 2.your ss might have a lot of dh's features that your baby might have too. so therefore,it's possible ss looks like your baby because they each have half of your husband's genes.
as far as the initial/name thing goes,that's just stupid of mil.i'd be irritated too.

Yes I completely understand - DS & SS look almost exactly alike when SS was little. DH shows me everytime he finds a picture of SS as an toddler. I almost want to puke. Thank goodness DD looks like me because if I had to hear how much DD & SD look alike, I'd probably puke since SD is a mini-BM.

On the name thing - My DH is a jr and SS is a III so I couldn't name DS after his father - so I went a different route and chose a name which means the same as DH's in a different language.

Nope, you are fine. I understand your frustration. My SS looks just like his SpermIdiot. He also has some of my wife’s look . He has her eyes and chin.

The funny part is that when we are out and about together my SS and I get "you look just like your dad". Since the SpermIdiot has never lived within 1200 miles of us the comment is that SS looks like me. We just chuckle, smile and move on.

When we are visiting my wife's family in SpermLand we hear that SS looks alot like the SpermIdiot. My ILs live in SpermLand. Though there is no possible way that SS looks like me and it makes every sense in the world that he would resemble the SpermIdiot the comments irk the shit out of me.

The funny part is when my wife’s family and friends comment that my son (SS-18) acts like me and has my mannerisms and speech inflections. }:) Of course he does, I have raised him as my own since he was 1yo.

At least he sounds intelligent and not like his toothless moron SpermIdiot.
less moron SpermIdiot.

Ha. I feel a lot the same way you do. I don't think you're being ridiculous, but it's probably not worth getting worked up about. Our BDs together look nothing like SD17 (my genes are strong). Both of them look like a mix of DH and I. SD17 looks completely different, plus she has dark hair and dark skin (part Mexican) and my BDs are pale, with light brown hair. My BDs look so similar, DH can't tell which pictures are of which when they were the same age.

The choosing a name thing is a sore point for me. When we were naming our first BD, DH agreed to choose a family name of mine, so I told him he could pick BD's middle name. He waited until the day BD was born to tell me his decision, and while I didn't love the name, I could live with it because DH chose it. Or so I thought. About a month later when we are driving somewhere, DH admits he let SD17 (then 10) pick the middle name AND neither one of us likes it. I was SO mad, but what do you do? I couldn't hardly change her middle name over something so petty. But EVERY time I have to say it, I am reminded of the deception by DH. And since I dislike SD17 so much, it reminds me of her. Great!

Here's another weird one. BM chose SD17's first name and DH chose her middle name. When BM was naming one of her BDs, she gave that kid the same middle name as SD17. First of all, why do you need two kids with the same middle name? Second of all, why did you choose a name my DH picked out? Weird.

You are normal but people just say stuff for the sake of saying it. I was taking care of someone else kid one time and people would say..."oh your daughter looks just like you" No resemblance at all either....don't take it to heart girl...but it would make me crazy too.

I am mildly jealous that your husband's bm is ugly! My bf's ex has a pretty face...not a great body but you could probably see past that. Oh and I have to mention cause it cracks me up...she has really bad 80's hair, huge bangs etc she looks ridiculous. I can't believe there hasn't been a hair intervention on the part of her daughters! However, their daughters...not attrative AT ALL! I feel very guilty about admitting this. I shouldn't say at all, the younger one does have potential, she can be kind of cute sometimes but the older one...I'm sorry for her, she's got a shitty attitude and she's just not pretty at all. My bf however is VERY attractive, he has dark hair and eyes and is tall, I have always been attracted to him. These girls look just like him except with long hair! I sometimes wonder if my children would look like him too and I would DIE if they over looked like either one of his other daughters! I know they won't change a ton either because they are in their 20's. It drives me crazy when someone is ugly, their personality is ugly and they think they have the right to treat everyone else like an asshole. How can a man so wonderful produce a little person who's so evil???

"my husband had to marry up when he met me." I LOVE that...hahahaha it's probably true. Do you ever wonder what they saw in these people in the first place??? I try not to read too much into it but a lot of times I sit here thinking...I just don't get it, we are COMPLETELY different. The only thing we have in common is that we both have a vagina.

My XH1 had a XGF and she and I really did look very similar! It was so offensive. There's a photo of them holding their baby and people ask me how old was mine in that photo! That's not me and it's not my son, but even I am shocked at the likeness. It was creepy! It totally could have been me! Guess he knew what he liked! It was so offensive for me. I couldn't even make fun of how that one looked! I hate that! LOL! I look at the photo still sometimes because that's funny. Like the hyenas in Lion King- "Mufasa! oooooh scary! Do it again!"

Well maybe your DHs genes overrode her crappy genes. Did you consider that?

Also remember it would be not very flattering to say "Oh my! Your son is the IMAGE of you(his mother)!" Anymore than saying a little girl looks like her father. It goes along with the same sex thing. Boys (once past the tiny baby stage) look like their fathers because boys are supposed to loook like their fathers. And girls are supposed to be our mini-mes. I am looking more and more like my mother as each day passes.

Don't take it to heart too much. When anyone says something like that say "I know! They have such a handsome father!"

Omg your post was awesome! My SO has a SD (4) with a nasty skanky ass bitch as well lol. She is hideous and he says his daughter is "the most beautiful girl in the world" BARF. We are having a baby together and I would die if anyone said it looked like her. Your post made me laugh and feel better