She's 13? He's gonna have a nice slap in the face when she ends up pregnant or picked up for drugs. As long as there are kids in the home, they are young enough to be checked up on. Unless they are paying rent and utilities and buying their own food, they have no privacy in the home.

When you don't check up on your kids, that's an open invitation for trouble.

I guess we have always operated under the theory that in our house privacy is a privilege, not a right, with the only exception being in the bathroom, changing, etc.......And that goes for whether the skids were 8, 18, or 28! I have never had a problem snooping through SS's belongings. Truth be told, when I have felt the need to "invade" his space I always found something inappropriate!!!! Sd is 11 and I have checked her computer now and then but she is kind of one of those kids that desperately fears trouble so I don't worry too much....yet..... So, to answer your questions, I don't think there is an "age" I think it is individual based on the child. Besides, I assume most of us who "check" "snoop" or whatever you want to call it are doing it from a good place and not because our goal in life is to get skids in trouble.

I used look at everything i can. there's 2 main reasons. 1. I'm nosey - i'll admit it 2. i dont' like surprises. if skids are doing something they shouldn't be i want to know so i can kick their asses before it becomes a bigger problem. i want to knwo who they're hanging out with, what websites they're looking at, what type of girls they're dating adn what theyre doing with them. DH is the opposite way - he will take skids word on everything...i am not this trusting of them. then i met disengagement. his kids - he can deal with the consequences of trusting them to the world's end.

hell - i just recently quit going through DH's phone records of who he called and text. when i get the feeling somethign is going on i will search...see #2.

she doesn't drink and party like everyone thinks"...okay, she just screws and does whatever she wants wherever. She comes and goes as she pleases during school nights too. When he gets home from work she leaves and comes home as late as 11:30 sometimes. This is EVERY NIGHT! I will admit that the younger ones when they do go on sleepovers he does talk to the parent..at least he does that.
step talk

I don't think it's simply a matter of age in this case. The problem seems more that she's probably been given this treatment since she was young and hence has not grown up with any appreciation for the amount of privacy she is given, so she takes advantage of it and probably doesn't give a second thought to her actions. I was lucky in that my mother didn't snoop and did allow me some privacy and independence--but I earned it over time and I knew that taking advantage of these privileges would lead to them being taken away.

If your kids are used to you checking up on them, they'll probably be ready for a little more privacy/taking them at their word by the time they're SD's age (like training wheels; they'll have the phantom mom on their backs :P). SD though--well I agree with some posters that your DH is in for a rude awakening with her. I don't think it will necessarily be all fire and brimstone with her ending up pregnant and drugged up, but it certainly is a set-up for her to never learn any respect and make poor choices.

Maybe 30ish?

Privacy is a right to be earned at any age.

But the "boy under her bed" statement made me laugh. I literally lived in my boyfriends room during summer vacation in high school - an entire THREE MONTHS - without his parents knowing. His mom was a very "snoopy" parent who constantly went through his room, but she was also predictable in where/when she would snoop.

So even snooping won't keep problems at bay if the kid is sneaky enough!