I need some advice and I'm just going to lay everything out there and see what others think. About 4 years ago I met my boyfriend. At the time he had a 4 year old son with one woman, and a one year old daughter with a different woman. His relationship with his son's mother was long over, but unbeknown to me, he was still trailing his daughter's mother along. I was young, just out of college, never had a real adult relationship, so there was a LOT of things that I didn't pick up on. Shortly after my boyfriend and I started dating he asked if I would mind if he moved in with his daughter's mother. He claimed it was so that he could have more time with his daughter and he would have separate rooms from his daughter's mom. Since I was the new girlfriend, I didn't feel like I had the right to tell him no, so I just said as long as it was clear with his daughter's mom that he was only there to support his daughter, and not to be with her, I was ok with it. So a year passed, me happily dating my bf, but at the same time there was a lot of secrecy that I didn't pick up on (like he always left the room to answer his phone and there were times when he wasn't there for me because he couldn't get away from her). It turns out he was with both of us, leading us both on. He was trying with his daughter's mom for his daughter's sake, but really wanted to be with me it seemed (at least that's what he claims). His relationship with her mom was not good. She had/has no respect for him, treats him like an incompetent child, doesn't let him contribute to decisions regarding his daughter, and only wants "her family" not necessarily to be with HIM. To me, I think he deserves much more! So after a lot of arguing and discussing and consideration(he was very persistent), I decided to stay with him. 3 years into our relationship I decided to move in with him. He couldn't afford to rent a place on his own and was renting tiny rooms from his family. His kids had to share a bed with him when they came over. That was NOT a decent situation for them. After 3 years with his kids, I of course care(d) for them, so in order to provide his kids with a decent home when they're with their dad, I made the choice to move in with him. Plus I was struggling to find a roommate myself, and my bf was pretty much there 24/7 anyways. It seemed to make sense. Now that his daughter is older (5), she has been sharing her feelings about the situation. She has expressed that she is not happy going between two homes, and just wished her dad could move in with her mom. Of course this KILLS me! I feel like I could be the reason why his daughter has to deal with this! The last thing I want her to do is to blame me! My bf claims that he wouldn't be with her mom even if he never met me, but I wonder if that's really true? Would he be struggling to cover up how unhappy he is with her mom? Could they be civil living together and thus should be living together so his daughter can have a two parent home?? You also have to remember his son too. Regardless of if he was with me or not, one of the kids at least would have to deal with not having a two parent home. Me and my bf have worked out the issues from our past and have moved on (the BM however has NOT). We are very happy together and are discussing marriage, but it still makes me wonder if I should just gracefully bow out of the situation for the sake of his daughter. His daughter deserves to witness a happy relationship, not just one that is civil for her sake. And my bf deserves to be happy regardless of the mistakes he made in the past! I just feel like I'm suck in the middle and am really struggling with feelings of guilt for perhaps being the root of his daughter's "messed up life." To me it only boils down to the fact that I love my bf, and I love his kids. Shouldn't that be enough? What should I do???