Church and teenagers?
This is a 14 year old bio I am dealing with. Over a year ago she and her friend created a paper ouija board, contacted spirits which then she began telling poeple our house was haunted. I kind of ignored it all and chaulked it up to teen stuff. One night recently she refused to sleep in her room, saying that these spirits were massaging her feet and she was scared. She asked me to find someone to bless the house. I got as much info on the Internet about all this. We went thru all the steps to purify the house which meant burning the ouija board. I contacted a pastor who came to the house....felt the reason the sprits were in the hosue was because my daughter let them in and that the only reason that that happened was because she had not taken Christ as her Savior. I am religious and I do have this boundary, would not even begion to entertain the thought. Pastor spoke with daughter, told her what he felt was happening here and then asked if she was ready to accept Christ as her Savior. She was 'saved' that day and she has been committed to reading the Bible the pastor left with her.
However, tonight I mentioned that I wanted to get her into a youth church program and all war broke out. Right now she is refusing, saying that there are alot of bad epoepl in this world that go to church and just because someone goes to church it doesn't make them a good person. She is correct on that but what I told her is that our education and time with those that believe like we do is persona, and just because we have cypocrits in the church doesn't mean we can't have our own good experiences and learn from what is being taught.
basically what it amounts to is we have a teen refusing to go to church and I do not want to make her feel resentful but not sure what the answer is in the this situation.
I believe avr has every
I believe avr has every right to force a 14yo to go to church with the family to services. IMO this world needs more parents forcing their kids to do what they say. Look at butterflykisses current predicament with the entitled thugs in her neighborhood. Those parents should have forced them to church...
I do agree that since she's reading the bible and accepting religion she may well come around on her own.
At 14 she still has to do what her parents say.
AVR1962, here's my opinion on
AVR1962, here's my opinion on your situation:
She's 14 years old. You're her parent. What you say, GOES. I 100% agree with sixteensmom above that this world needs MANY more parents enforcing their kids to do as they say, no matter WHAT it is (i.e. going to church, studying more for exams, not cursing, not smoking or doing drugs or drinking, etc...). With all the obvious problems that the "child self esteem"/"Non-parenting" movement has brought (which has clearly created a generation of MORONS, hence "Generation E", E standing for Entitlement), this type of parenting is needed now more than EVER.
She may have an opinion, and her reasons may be legitimate, however at 14 yrs old she still needs parental guidance. This, IMHO, is a teachable moment. Not that I feel you owe her ANY EXPLANATION, but you can choose to say to her: "As an adult, we have the right to our own opinions, but we also must follow the rules/instructions given to us by employers/superiors, etc... even when we sometimes disagree with it". (I'm talking about normal, reasonable instructions, not someone abusing us, of course).
My parents would've said to me "When you're 18 and NOT living under our roof anymore, paying your OWN bills, you can make your OWN decisions. Until then, GET YOUR ASS IN THE CAR!!" lol
(Milomom steps off her soapbox).
All the debates here are the
All the debates here are the debates going in my own head.....I have seen both sides. I have always wanted to make any religious training one that all my kids would take positively and I think I have managed pretty well, only 1 of the 5 has gone the extreme other direction.
Foxie....it is my bio daughter and I too bluffed it off, didn't believe her stuff with the ghosts, just chaulked it up to teen play. She became paranoid though and would not sleep in her room. Perhaps she needs counseling, I'm really kind of clueless here. I am not sure what she feels she would have to gain by making up what she was telling us.
I get what you are saying and
I get what you are saying and maybe that's exactly what it is.
I'm a freak....like I would
I'm a freak....like I would literally combust if I saw a "you know what" board!!!
I'd be all burning it and praying and calling the president....we're at defcon 5 people!!! Send in the artillery!!
I don't like to mess with stuff like that. We raised ours from small children to go to church, but to also realize that that alone won't save you. My bios have gone this way, 2 skids just believe in God, and the ss17 says there is no God. He knows there is, but he likes to be hateful because he's lost all his faith because of the way BM raised him.
maybe since you don't want
maybe since you don't want WW3 over going to church, don't want her resentful of church, etc., maybe you continue to go to church and be the example -- and just continue to invite her. Share with her what you learned each Sunday, how much you enjoyed the music, the sermon, your friendships, maybe share what friends of hers you saw, etc., and God will draw her there Himself. I run into this with my kids too. I have a SD16, BD17, SS17, SS20 and SD21 year old. And each one of them has a different relationship with the Lord. I continue to talk to them about the Lord, pray for them, but they are all at an age that I cannot force them into a relationship with the Lord. I can lead them in that direction, but they have to choose. Best of luck.
I "make" my kids go to
I "make" my kids go to church-they are 13, 11, 9. I also have days in which I must force them to get out of bed, go to school, and do their chores. I force them to do all sorts of stuff. I dont really care whether they hate it or not.
However, they dont hate it. They do hate not sleeping in, sometimes they find the sermons boring-but being made to go has not made them hate it. They understand that in our family it is just something we do. I, however, dont make them attend youth group or Sunday school. Amazingly, they attend willingly. My 13dd goes twice a week solely based on her own decision. My ds11 spent the day today with his church group skiing.
A relationship with God is something I want my kids to have. In fact I want it to be primary in their life. That's why I make them go. Of course there are bad people at church, as there are everywhere. I feel that you get out of it what you put into it. I dont concern myself with the genuineness of others while in Church-I am too busy focusing on MY relationship with God to even worry about others. If for whatever reason it is brought to my attention, then I simply pray for them.