Adult SS has overstepped his bounds
OK, so when does general weirdness cross the line into bizzare? I don't know if this has gotten there yet or if it made it there a LONG time ago. My SS23 informed me today that I couldn't eat any instant oatmeal unless I told him I was using it first, and that any other food I ate had to be OK'd by him. (odd thing about all that is I buy ALL the food with MY money and I plan out meticulous menus- he pays for nothing- no rent no food no laundry no utilities so he should have NO say in it). Then he tells me that whenever I take a shower, I have to tell him which towel I use and how much shampoo I used.
He also stands outside of the bathroom door the entire time I am showering or using the restroom and the minute I turn the handle of the door, he starts talking to me again. It has gotten to the point I feel like he is a super creepy stalker and I don't want him in my house or my life- even when I try to ignore him, he still comes back like a bad weed. And yesterday, I walked out of my office (which is attached to my bedroom) and saw him STARING at his dad while he was sleeping. Just this totally psycho half-sneer expression on his face with his fists balled up at his sides. When he saw me step out, he left really quickly, but I am totally freaked out.
All wierd things and would
All wierd things and would make me not have him in my house...Creepy! What does your DH say? Why is he living with you and how old is he?
What tha? Why is he living
What tha? Why is he living there and getting a free ride? Does he work? What was your response to his foolish comments/behavior? Did you tell DH everything you've told us? What's his take on it?
Either he has issues or is pretending to have issues. He would have to leave asap! Sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen.
I would be LMAO in his FACE!
I would be LMAO in his FACE! Then tell him to leave MY house! He needs to leave!!!! I would never put up with that ever! And if my dh ever thought I should he would be on his ass too!
watch this, this is psychotic
watch this, this is psychotic behavior, maybe he's planning on offing you guys. its not normal by any means
Tell your Dh that he has
Tell your Dh that he has until tonight to remove the bizarre asshole of a son and if he does not then the police will remove him tomorrow - tell the cops that he is stalking you in your own home and you do not feel safe and if your Dh will not get on board I have to say I would get out or make both of them leave - I am not kidding he does not sound right in the head or is setting up a crazy defense if he hurts you - get him out!!
PS - if my SS ever said some of those things to me - after he picked himself up off the floor with some teeth missing (I have a cast iron skillet in my home and it is not for cooking) he would have about 10 seconds to get the f*** out of my house - I am totally serious you need to get him out of your house and get a restraining order against him - he is trying to intimidate you in your own home and DH better back you up!!
Okay just read the last paragraph because the whole story is giving me chills - GET HIM OUT!!!!
Caregiver I had to chuckle at
Caregiver I had to chuckle at your post about the skillet .. I was thinking the same, but my weapon of choice would be a bat. By the time I got finished w/him, they'd end up arresting me.
Exactly - whatever it took to
Exactly - whatever it took to show him who is boss and that we are not afraid of these little assholes - but this one sounds a little scary - I would still kick his ass and DH's for letting him live with us but he does need to go!!
My SS17 thinks he is a strong kid and every time he comes to visit he tries to arm wrestle and every time I beat him - I am not quite sure when he is going to get big and strong but it seems to be a theme with skids that they are small, weak, entitled brats!!
Of course, I wasn't going to
Of course, I wasn't going to sit there and let my ASKID try and rule the roost. There are only two parents in this house, and I told him as much. He wanted to act like an immature, childish idiot so I told him he had two choices, write sentences like a little kid or get the f(*$&K out! The sentence I choose was "This is not my house and I will not try to dictate to my parents what they can and cannot do. It is disrepectful and insolent and if I do it again, I will be homeless." He got THREE written before his dad caved and let him do whatever the hell he wanted. I told his dad that they are now both in danger of being homeless and I really hope SS will keep him warm at night because as of tonight, he is no longer welcome in my room. I moved all of his things to the guest room a few hours ago and told him he has until the end of July to find a new place to live with his son. I have had it up to my ears with this!! It is SOOO sad that he is allowing an adult to ruin a 10 year marraige and he chose a life-long f^&K up over the chance to raise his three youngest the right way. His only response----------- well, over 50% of this generation still live with their parents and expect them to keep caring for them. You should be happy he wants to argue with you all the time, at least he is alive."
Sorry, buster, I don't share the sentiment. Hope they are happy wherever they find a place to crash! If someone is found dead in a ditch cause of that little SOB, it SURE won't be me or my kids!
>>You should be happy he
>>You should be happy he wants to argue with you all the time, at least he is alive."<<
Barf.
Yes, I hope his adult son keeps him warm at night. Good for you for giving them a deadline.
Indeed. Good for you. What
Indeed. Good for you. What kind of ridiculous comment is that about at least being alive?
I'm sorry you're going through this and glad you have a plan.
DH's enabling has created a monster. Instead of dealing w/the issue, DH is burying his head in the sand and expects you to do the same. Glad you're standing your ground.
I echo the 'Good for you'.
I echo the 'Good for you'. If DH shows so little respect for you now, although he may have a few second thoughts once pays for he and SS to live elsewhere. I'm surprised he didn't think of the smaller kids. They really don't need this type of influence in their lives.
At 23, I was married,
At 23, I was married, pregnant with my second child and raising FOUR teenage SKIDS!!!!! I can safely say that with my skids and I being only 9 years apart in age- I am STILL part of their generation....... and I CERTAINLY didn't expect to live at home with my parents. I didn't expect my parents to raise me as a perpetual child, and I didn't expect to get a free ride. In fact, I was quite busy raising someone else's children and trying to raise them to be ladies and gentlemen. Well, my oldest SD (25) went to live with her BM when she was 18(cause BM is a superhero or something) and she is off learning IMPORTANT life lessons.... ummm if that is what you want to call it.... working the system and getting preggo by different guys to get child support for the next 18 years so she doesn't have to work.
However, with my younger 2 SS (18 and 19) they actually turned out quite well! Both successful and independant, one in the military and one in college and working. They both have a life plan and they both respect authority. NONE of these kids were raised differently from the others. The only variable is that the oldest two have one BM and the younger two have a different BM. I am WHOLY convinced it is defective DNA and not a "generational phenomenon" as my DH asserts. How can 5 children from one person turn out so well and his other 2 are like the dregs of the gene pool? I dunno. Heaven help me cause I am going insane.
Excuse me...he has until the
Excuse me...he has until the end of July...why not until the end of June?
I'd get those two freaks out so fast...wow...they are not healthy or safe. The kid was writing sentences...why isn't he using the energy working someplace?
Kids a mooch and the dad's an enabler. OMG...they need to find utopia with one another on another planet.
C.R.A.Z.Y !!! Poor you with this scary jerk in your home!!
No, no, no, this is beyond
No, no, no, this is beyond weird. I would be freaked out. You need to make this stop and now!
yeah, I agree- I regularly
yeah, I agree- I regularly sway between freaked out and pi$$ed off.... He does a lot of bizarre stuff. I have posted alot on this forum about his regular antics. I am almost to the point of buying him a binkie and some pampers he is so infantile and dramatic!! OMFG
Keep us posted on whats going
Keep us posted on whats going on, Your situation is very scary, I'd seriously kick this adult out IMMEDIATELY, the behaviors he is displaying don't just border on psychotic they are psychotic.
Personally I wouldn't give
Personally I wouldn't give him any time to get out, Stain(my deranged adult skid) was bordering on psychotic but not this psychotic. I'd call the police tell them what you told us and tell them you do not feel safe with him in the home and that he needs to be removed immediately, sounds like you have other children who need your protection and if your DH has a problem with that he can go with his looney son. Your safety is of the utmost importance, I'd also change all locks on the house, get an order of protection (called a restraining order in some states) and I'd seriously consider getting a monitored alarm service. Your story scares the heck out of me. I'd let someone you trust know whats going on and in the event something bizarre happens to you that trusted person can point fingers. This behavior is nothing to play around with or anything to tolerate for even a few hours let alone until the end of July.
Any word from poppy? Hope
Any word from poppy? Hope shes ok
i was wondering the same
i was wondering the same thing. I told this to my dh and he looked at me like seriously? He is letting his adult son say and do those things??? His jaw hit the floor. :jawdrop:
Poppy please let us know how things are going?
I am fine, I ended up calling
I am fine, I ended up calling the cops and having him removed this morning for more creepy freaky crap= they ran his name and saw he has a federal warrant (from the Army for deserting). They took him to jail where he will stay until the Army tells them what to do with him. So for the night at least. The army doesn't want him back- they already told him he is to report to fort bragg in august
so no help there, they will release him on his on recog. in the morning.
I was in the bathroom and he stood outside until I told him to go away because he was acting stalker freaky. Then he barred the door so I couldn't open it and I had to take the hinges off just to get out. When I got out, he had a hammer and nails and was going to nail me shut in the room. He raised his hand to me and I thought he was gonna smack me with the hammer he had and his dad finally got off his butt and backhanded the little creep across the house! His dad says that after he is released, we are going to have him involuntarily committed. Shame it took this happening for him to see what is really going on around here!!!
Poppy-I'm glad you got him
Poppy-I'm glad you got him out and are safe now, this goes beyond guilty parenting. This adult is mentally ill, it didn't help that your DH allowed him to get to this point but my best advice is to never ever let this adult skid live in your house, I'd seriously consider changing the locks. What did the police charge him with? or did they just turn them over to the army on the warrant?
Good grief, I'm glad you
Good grief, I'm glad you weren't hurt. What a scary situation. I'm glad you got him out, and I agree w/the others, do not under any circumstances allow him to come back there . . even if he has no place else to go.
I hope DH will keep his word and have him commited because he has some serious mental issues.
Like other have said, I am
Like other have said, I am glad your DH is finally on board. It sucks though that it usually takes something really serious for a bioparent to pull their heads out of their butt and open their eyes. Glad you called the cops on him.
I agree he definately needs
I agree he definately needs help, he is ill, and you guys were very lucky not to be hurt.....
I would change the locks too, then if he breaks in, the police will be called and you can file charges and hurry along getting him professional help! This SS should never be under your roof again....
Poppy, Thank goodness DH
Poppy, Thank goodness DH finally DID something. It is hard to believe how he could let it get to that point. How are you feeling about DH now? Is this what it takes for some DH's to see the true picture? I hope the police hold SS if the Army won't. He is too dangerous to be in society.
WOW, for twenty four WHOLE
WOW, for twenty four WHOLE hours, there has been peace, harmony, and not screaming fighting or drama!!! I am SO happy! The babies are smiling and happy for the first time in a long time. My DH actually said he was sorry and that he had no idea the extent of discord his grown son had brought into the house. The kids finally slept ALL NIGHT without waking up with nightmares and he also got a full nights sleep. I have been telling him for SO LONG that "Mooch" was sucking all of the life out of our family, but he couldn't see it. He felt I was asking him to give up his son forever because I wanted him all to myself. I wanted his son to be out on his own so that he could have his meltdowns on his own time and in his own place so the little ones had a chance to have a happy stress-free childhood. He is finally seeing through everything his son has been doing. I can only breathe a sigh of relief that I am not the only one to see the impact of his behaviors. The psychiatric hospital said that at the end of the 72 hours, they are not forseeing him being released because he is a danger to himself and others. The court has told him that he is not allowed within 500 feet of the kids, me, or our residence.
HOLY cow...that is scary! I'm
HOLY cow...that is scary! I'm glad he's staying committed....how did your DH let it go this far???? I'm so angry for you!
I had to nod in agreement to this statement "I am WHOLY convinced it is defective DNA and not a "generational phenomenon"
YES indeed!!!
So glad to hear that he will
So glad to hear that he will be staying locked up and that he is not allowed within 500 feet of you and the house. It needs to be several states between you guys really! That guy is messed up! Maybe now your dh will keep his head out of his butt and protect you and those kids!
wow wow wow! That is so
wow wow wow! That is so scary!! :jawdrop:
Just make sure that if the
Just make sure that if the psychiatric hospital comes up with some idiotic excuse to release him, that they AND your DH understand that him coming back with you guys to live is absolutely, unequivocally, NOT an option. He's 23, for Pete's sake-he should have been on his own years ago.