You are here

Do smart girls fake it?

JustPeachy22's picture

Submitted by JustPeachy22 on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 9:46am

Forums: 
General Discussion

As another skids weekend approaches the growing feeling of "I'd rather do my taxes than deal with FSD8" rears its ugly head. I LOVE my FDH, I mean LOVE him, and I LOVE his FSS4 but I can't even bring myself to like this girl even a little. Her behavoir isn't much different from what everyone else says on here (baby talk, manipulative, talks bad about me in front of FMIL) To make matters worse FDH loves my BS13 and they have a great relationship. I know it hurts FDH that I don't love his daughter. So I'm wondering..can you fake it?

hopefulSM's picture

Submitted by hopefulSM on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:49am

I am not one who can fake how I feel. I have SD10. Most of the times there are no problems. She is not a bad kid, a typical kid that does annoying things at times, push her limits at times, talks back at times. She has learned from the best (her mother) how to manipulate people, how to lie, be two faced. There are times I look forward to her visits and times when I dread them. We also have a weekend with her coming up and I'm dreading this one. I just need a bit longer of a break from her. We also get her Wed, so we just had her last night.

One thing I have found successful is trying to have stuff that needs to be done during her visits that I can always turn to do and get me away for a bit. Even if its folding laundry and I can go in another room and be alone for awhile. Or going to the grocery store. I also try to plan to do something with her, so that I at least try to make an effort with her. This weekend I'm taking her to the library to get some new books (unfortunetnly I'm the only one that will do much of anything special with her).

My DH also gets along great and loves my DD12 and DD8 so I do also feel guilty that I have these feelings that seem to flip flop at times for SD. I do think I love her, but nothing like my biokids and I do have resentment feelings that affect my feelings for her at times. It's not fair to her or to DH, but it is what it is. I keep trying at it.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:10am

For starters I would assume a role similar to skid's teacher. If you get no support from FDH and disrespect from skid, then it's time to disengage.

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:49am

I think you can to a point. I faked it on the weekends; for short periods of time, I knew she was leaving. Just like she "faked" being a good girl for daddy on the weekend. Perfect little princess........Now that we have her FT; I have nothing left in me and cannot fake it ANYMORE; nor does she. Battle of the B***es!! I can win that; I just don't care enough to argue with a 13 year old!!

JustPeachy22's picture

Submitted by JustPeachy22 on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 1:26pm

It is so much easier that I only have to see her twice a month. She always tell her Dad she wants to live with him when she turns 13. That is my Biggest Fear!!!!

Sweetnothings's picture

Submitted by Sweetnothings on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 12:52pm

My SD21 was always a little darling when Daddy was there, when he was away on business for a long time and it was just her and I, the real SD was revealed in all it's glory..... Horrors.... I would never believed it myself if I had not been there !!!

I faked getting through this time, because I really felt DH wouldn't believe it, and he didn't until things got really bad because of her antics......

Even before she lived with us, my favourite time of the week was Sunday evenings, just as we turned into the BM's nasty rough street and dropped the Skids back, knowing it was almost 5 days before we would be back here again.......

DH said it was just teen stuff, but it was much worse than that, she needed proper professional help but I couldn't fight them all so nothing was done and that's why we are where we are now, with a still crazy SD21 living in a nasty make believe World, using everybody around her, etc, etc....

I am getting happier and happier everyday, because the faking is over....... DH always says she is his daughter whatever she does, and I'm like..... That's right YOUR daughter....YOUR problem...don't stick it right inbetween us anymore.......

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 12:59pm

Sure. I fake it. I care about SD8, but I don't truly love her. I have a hard enough time showing emotions towards people I really do love. I would say for the sake of your Hubby at least try to show you care for his daughter. My husband doesn't know I don't love his daughter and I know it would break his heart. So I keep the peace and fake it.