on the blog, not the double dipping forum, too

comment above does NOT apply to dabs!

Sounds like we have the same BM. I want to know why they would tell the kids "don't listen to her she is not your mom" in one breath and the next if your sick go to their house because SM is able to watch you. Just because I work from home, doesn't make me want to watch your kid.....

Thankfully I went off and that one stopped....but I know she still undermines me at every turn. Which is why I no longer participate....

....i was wondering....can you babysit tonight??? LOL if you ever figure out the answer to this question, lemme know....

my guess.....self centeredness is the answer. they only care about themselves.

my questions to BM would be ''why were u having unprotected sex while all the other girls yr age were at university studying to get a meaningful career?''
Also, ''do you know what YOUR behaviour is doing to yr son?''
On the convenient babysitter issue ''I don't smear my child off on u when it doesn't suit me, can u please stop smearing yours off on me... Be a woman and handle yr business''
Here's the most important one ''can you please stop having kids with so many different men already''

Why do so many of you always say "they are not your kids and not your business" but yet you expect stepmoms to babysit your kids for free while your children's father works. < i would rather have "right of first refusal" but i do not, i have never asked smom to babysit

You expect to get increases in child support because the stepmoms income goes up. You expect for the stepmom to save extra money out of her paycheck so that she can pay to take your kids on their family vacation with the kids that her and your ex have together (dad can't save any money he is broke after paying child support) You want your kids to come over every weekend when you know that the stepmom is going to be the one cooking cleaning and taking care of your children while they are at your ex's and the stepmom's house, because lets be honest most men don't pay attention to little Johnny or Suzie sitting to close to the TV or eating candy for breakfast, you know all these things, but yet you still have the nerve to tell stepmoms "they are not your kids, so shut up, but be my free babysitter and get a raise so that I can get more money for child support off the stepmoms increase in pay" (community property states, household income) So why do you act like this?< i do not do any of this, i don't care if smom feels she has to contribute or not, that's between her and ex, i tell my dd she needs to respect smom and follow her rules at her house (unless they are completely outragous-then my dd takes that up with her dad)

I am a BM AND a SM. I also have a son who has a SM.

First - your situation sounds pretty crappy. I do not understand when MOTHERS be it biological or step create drama at the expense of their CHILDREN be them biological or step.

I make sure that my SS does not hear any negative talk about his BM (regardless of the fact that I think she is a snake in the grass).

I make sure that my son thinks I find his SM to be delightful (despite the fact that she was sleeping with his dad which is what caused the split).

Its about the children, not the parents.

As a SM - all I want from my SS is a respectful relationship.
As a BM - all I want for my son is to have fun with his SM and develope a relationship so that I don't have to worry about him when he is there. This only happens if I facilitate it.

I wish you luck in working out your situation - you cannot control BM, but you can decide how to react. For the kids' sake - grin and bear it. It's not ideal, but they are only kids for a short while. They will figure it out when they are grown - and they will love and respect you for not engaging in the babymamadrama.