Hi everyone! I havent posted for a long while, but have been lurking around from time to time.

We have all 4 our kids living with us now (step: ss14 & sd19, bio: ds21 & dd12)

My issue that I would really appreciate advice on, is my own 21 y/o son. He is really a lovely young man, 6ft 4" tall, good looks, kind disposition. He is really wonderful with his students (he teaches beginner guitar at our school) with all the patience in the world. The only downer is that he spent his last 2 years of school with my ex, and has inherited his arrogant attitude, which especially comes out when he cannot get his own way. It breaks my heart to see him behave like this, especially with us, his family. My FH (who is also his boss) is so tired of his childish behaviour that he says he could deck him. I think that he's possibly schitsophenic - the "Jekyll & Mr. Hyde syndrome"

He lives in our outhouse and pays rent (minimal). We feed him and do his laundry. He has 2 jobs; teaching music & a salesman in our music shop. He earns a fair wage from these two jobs. All he spends his money on is socialising, alcohol, clothes & now petrol (a whole new issue - I said he could have my car, a 1996 Toyota Conquest, when he turned 21, but subject to me getting another car). But I have as yet not been able to do this, as there has been no money. Since June, his birthday month, he has thrown his toys on numerous occassions over this car. Not that I wouldnt allow him to use it, but just because when it needed attention and we didnt have the funds, and he had to ride his bike to work in the rain, he became irritated and impatient with us). There's a whole lot more to this but I don't want to ramble on and on..

At present he is ignoring us, eventhough we have now handed the car over to him, after a row between him & myself where I told him to get off my FH's back and stop putting him under pressure, financially. I made the mistake (in the heat of the moment) saying that he is driving FH to deck him. What a mistake! He now says he can't live & work with someone who wants to hit him. DS21 has always been a manipulator and has always manipulated me into to getting what he wants (his dad & I divorced when he was 12 months old).

When life goes his way he's happy and content but when things don't go his way he becomes a monster. He's also recently stopped smoking, but is also in a new relationship, so he should be reasonably happy.

Has anyone else been through this? Advice...please!