Hi....yes I survived her visit and surprised even myself with my coolness and handling the situation.
Had some really useful little tricks to keep me going when I was stressed though, like keeping a mental clock ticking down in my head to the moment when she left, also DH and I had a secret word on the go, for when either of us needed to talk to the other about something and we would make excuses as soon as possible to be alone and discuss it.....worked a treat to keep things from brewing up into big old rows at bedtime !!!
SD21 looked a real mess and the extra weight is more like 43 lbs than the 30 lbs I had estimated, and the clothes she wore were awful, just so unflattering on someone who has gained a lot of weight and is trying to squeeze into slimmer style clothes. DH commented on it ALOT and also how she couldn't walk for more than 15 minutes without a little wheezing....so unfit...
I rarely talked to her, the hello in the morning, and an odd handful of words during the day. I left all that to DH and he really surprised me by what he picked up on.....I didn't mention what I had noticed just let him talk about it to me. He did tell her that he was not doing the mega big shopping spree to replace her wardrobe, he's done this in the past, AND he stuck to it!!! She arrived with the biggest case EVER, and it was half full, so that pissed her off. DH even drove her to the stores and let her go off on her own for an hour to " shop" ....she came back with two small bags, no major clothes purchases.....gee I guess it's time to get a JOB and buy your own clothes !!!! Also, the last day is when she usually hits him for money, etc, but I stayed within earshot during the day and DH didn't agree to anything and SD21 got the message.
Biggest thing she did to piss me off was to post loads of photos on Fake/ Boast Book, including a few with us in without our permission, you know taken even without us knowing?? Well, I asked DH to sort it and although he struggled a bit it was taken care of, photos removed and no more of SD21 ruling the roost !! She also arranged to meet friends here for coffee and expected DH to chauffer her there and back, he said he was available for a two hour window, but on a particular day and at this time only, well, SD21 didn't like that, so actually put her plans on hold....good....she was only here for a few days to see DH not her friends!!!
Best thing to come from this visit....DH seems to be understanding her WAYS even more now, and she is NOT visiting us next year !!! I was sooo happy to see her go, she was forever putting down the younger Skid, and making sure she was known to be the cleverer one, she also monopolised the convos alot, but I would just step in and turn the convo if DH left it for tooo long !!!