Soooooo nice....until BM wants something that SM doesn't think she should be entitled to...then watch the claws get bared!

Yes, I am bitter after 12 years of being f*cked with by our BM and watching SD getting PASed out.

Yes and no. BM and I get along fine. We are there for SS 100%. She knows that if she needs anything (that will effect SS) she can come to me. And I know that if something is going on with SS, I can go to her and talk about it without the fear of her telling me I am out of line or he is not my son. She introduces me as "SS's other mom" (which sucks sometimes because it makes us look like lezbian lovers). When she is having a bad day or something happens with her mom or BF, she will usually call me, because I listen. If she is asking for advice, I give her advice, if not, I just listen. I talk to her FAR more than DH does.

HOWEVER, I think she is a complete idiot, and she knows that. She knows that I think she is lazy, selfish and a basically a bad mom. She knows that in ANY other situation in life she is not someone I would associate with. She considers me a friend.... I consider her, SS's BM. I have told her this. I have told her WHY I don't consider her a friend, and WHY I wouldn't be her friend even if the STEP situation doesn't exist. We are two differant people. VERY different.

So, friends...? Eh depends on which one of us you ask.... do we get along really well for sake of SS, absolutely.

It can happen. I am on the flip side being that I (the BM) is very close with my BD12's SM. I always liked SM. She loves my BD and my BD loves her. SM & the ExH have always lived out of state but moved a year ago even further away. SM and her kids have stayed with us before on vacation (w/o my Ex). They have been married 8 yrs now. I love my BD's SM I rarely talk to ExH - i always talk to SM and she respects me and actually asks me if BD can do certain things while in their care ... like color/cut hair and no i am not controlling - haha.

If you asked BM, she would say that her and I are friends. It couldn't be further from the truth. I fake it every time we're face to face. It just makes things so much easier. And, compared to a whole lot of people here, our situation with BM is relatively smooth going.

Truthfully, she's either narcisistic or just extremely lazy. I have no respect for either of those traits.

Honestly, I don't see how it could even be possible to be truly BFF's with the BM.

Its just creepy being true friends with a woman who slept with and had kids with your husband.

I get along great with one (BM1) and hate the other.(BM2)

Nah....I could never be. She is a trashy kind of person that I would never, ever associate with IRL. I never had friends like that, my friend are mostly realy and sweet and kind.

I know it sounds snobbish to say this but she is just way beneath me....I guess bf at 18 was not thinking of much more then with his other head.....but his family instantly disliked her. In fact her child is someone my children would not be allowed to associate with either, EVER!

Wow, I never thought about being friends with crazo. First of all for us it is impossible.

But even if it was, I would not. She isn't the type of person I would be friends with. I wish we could be civil, polite, adults, and give the skids needs the priority they should and deserve to have, but that isn't going to happen either.

Crazo doesn't exist to me, I don't talk to her, take her calls, texts, she is forbidden in my home. I tell the kids this is your mother and your dad's ex wife. She is not a part of me, present or past.

Your dad and her are your parents it is their job and responsibility to take care of you. We crossed paths once not too long ago, I walked past, didn't say a word. I do not engage in any form of communication because all she does is cuss, fuss, rant, rave and makes a fool of herself and embarrasses her children.

Friends, no...I don't want to put my SO in that situation either. She has hurt him and the skids so much. There is a reason they are divorced. He can't stand to hear the sound of her voice.

I think it has to do with the level of mental instability present in any of the "adult" parties involved.

I think it is odd to be that close to BM only because you would think that since that relationship didn't work out, if you are that much alike, its probably something to be concerned with. I hate that BM isn't in the Skids lives, but at least I don't ever have to deal with her.

Yes!

My BM#2 and I are legitimate, true, bff type friends.

Yuck, I can't imagine being friends with someone who was stupid enough to divorce my DH, who is a very nice and caring person, and marry an alcoholic who literally drank himself into a coma.

But that's just me.

Also, I guarantee that my DH would not like me hanging around his ex. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. I have better things to do, like hanging around my own family.

Ya know I was actually friendly with BM for about 5 minutes. When I first met her, she acted very nice and added me as a friend on FB. I accepted it and she sent me a msg and asked if I'd like to go to lunch with her. I said "sure" at this point sweet little naive me thought she was decent. Oh if I only knew! She spent the whole time bashing DH, and asking questions trying to be sly to get info about our relationship. Not to mention that she brought SD along and she ran all over the restaurant and had a major temper tantrum the entire time. Ahhh good times.

Nope... this BITCH thinks I am the wicked SM... she accuses me, blames me, backstabs me, talks shit about me... all because she is jealous because of the relationship I have built with the children. Up until recently, I had a great relationship with the kids until she began lieing to the kids and to my MIL

I would NOT want to have a relationship with my stepkids BM!!

The situation with her is that she is a master at manipulation. She could ACT like she likes you for YEARS, and the real reason she is doing it was to get inside information from you about her EX. Things she can use against him in relation with the kids.

Now that my DH's mother has died (whom his EX remained close friends with even after the divorce), the EX has now begun to "become friends" with my DH's sister! They NEVER were in contact before. We find it a very strange that the BM is now wanting to become friendly with my DH's sister.

We are pretty confident she it doing it only to try and keep tabs on us. Well it isn't going to work because my DH doesn't contact or be around his sister that much - very seldom. He loves her, but they have absolutely nothing in common.

No, I would not want to be "friends" with my stepkids BM!

Hell would freeze over before I would consider BM as a friend of mine.
The damage that woman has done to the people I love is beyond anything I have ever seen. I can let go of all the crap and deal with the issues in hand currently and move forward, I will NEVER forget though!
I am polite, I will inform her if there's something she needs to know. I am not mean to her, I will not converse with her beyond the kids. It did bug me for a while that DH would cater to her, she used the kids as pawns, knowing how much he loves the kids.
It took DH some time to get around to it all, I put my own boundaries down because if I waited for him to 'help' me I'd still be waiting! You know the old 'if it aint broke don't fix it' type thing? Well, as long as I was willing to be reasonable with her he thought I was fine, I told him that once the kids came of age then WE had absolutely no reason to interact with her, their relationship/or lack thereof is their own busines. He just said 'I agree'. There has been no contact with her since the kids came of age.

When i first started seeing my bf i heard horror stories about the bm and how she treated him, left him and their daughter to join the military, cheated on him, got married and divorced and engaged again just a few weeks after leaving him, when i found out she was coming home (in the same town we are in) i will admit i was scared. But as immature as she can be, her and i now actually get along surprisingly well, i know that my bf would never get back with her and BM wouldnt with him, i can just tell by the way they interact with eachother. It helps a great deal to trust the fact that they dont have those feelings anymore. BM and i arent the best of friends, that may be just a little awkward, but she is mature enough to realize that i am a good person and that her BD loves being around me, it helps a lot to at least have this kind of relationship because it helps the daughter to realize she can trust me and not be afraid to connect but also because i feel i can ask her where my boundaries are with her BD and she will be honest and trusting. Its sometimes awkward but it takes a lot of stress off of me not having to worry about the BM, i wish everybody could be as lucky as me with it