SS18 being very lazy and won't get out and get a job --- and playing video games constantly!!
He graduated in June from high school, and had a one day per week job all summer long. So pretty much all summer long he got to do whatever he wanted all day long (play video games, hang out with friends, watch tv, etc). Well, here it is nearly 5 months later -- he was still working one day a week, and now he is taking one class that takes up one full day plus 3 hours of another day during his week. So this means that he has basically 2 days (8 hours on each of those days) and 3 hours on another day that he is busy. Otherwise, he is playing video games or watching television. Most of his time is spent playing video games.
Again, he is 18 years old. We have tried to encourage him gently to go get a full time job because I think he could work a full time job and take his ONE class. With all the spare time that he has playing video games, he could study during that time rather than playing video games. HE IS BEING LAZY!!!
I tried talking to him last night with no luck. He says that he is job hunting and that he applied at all these "grunt" jobs that are "below" him. I about blew my stack. Then his sister (SD16) pipes up and says she is too good to work at McDonalds. I am sitting there with my jaw on the ground in disbelief. I said, what makes you both think that you are too good to work at these lowly jobs? What makes you so much better than those people working at McDonalds or at these other "lowly jobs" --- as you call them? I was pissed!!
I told my DH last night that I was sickened by their behavior last night. I told him for them to say that sickened me. I went from working in a prestigious law office making very good money, to babysitting and wiping baby's butts for $8.00 per hour! We are not above ANYTHING! Any job you have you do it, and you do it well.
I am disgusted that he has not instilled a good work ethic in his children. Makes me sick!!
I am pissed that this boy is being lazy .... he needs to get off his butt and quit playing video games. My DH is the kind of man who likes to beat around the bush and hope that they will make the right decision. Well, five months later and we're not there yet. SS18 says he just doesn't want to settle for a lowly job and get stuck in it. I told him he has to start somewhere, and he is going to school and taking classes. This is what you do when you are 18!!
Arrrrg! I'm tired of lazy. Okay, I'm done venting.
if you pay the mortage too I
if you pay the mortage too I would demand that he pay rent. I went and joined the air force after high school and when I got out I stayed with my parents for a few months and they were fine with that as long as I paid $400 a month. I had my own car/insurance, own cell and health insurance as well. Force responsibility on him. I am sorry but at 18 he needs to get a life.
Like this a lot, I'd take the
Like this a lot, I'd take the video game system away or do what I did when my step was being a butt, I tripped the breaker to his room so he couldn't sit in there avoiding picking up after himself, he didn't pick up he just went to sleep but he wasn't playing games. The only reason your SS is behaving like this is because you guys allow it. Put the hammer down, tell him what you expect of him and give him chores if he don't like that give him a deadline to get out in the world
"Pawn the video game
"Pawn the video game player"
Yes, because stealing something of his and selling it behind his back is of higher moral value than someone simply being lazy.
Well, my DH is supposed to
Well, my DH is supposed to talk to him tonight. We saw the marriage counselor last night and we discussed SS18 as one of them. My DH has a hard time setting boundaries with his kids -- and counselor told him that he needs to tell son to get a job, and begin saving money up so that he can eventually move out. (That's the short story version)
So hubs is supposed to talk to him tonight. We'll see how this goes.
I will be interested to hear
I will be interested to hear how DH does.
Personally, I don't think
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with having all that free time to play video games. I'd kill for a life like that. But yeah, he needs a job.
How did your DH go? I have an
How did your DH go?
I have an SD15 (16 in two weeks) who shows no signs of doing useful things in life. I am scared when I read this however am loving that you are seeing a marriage counsellor who is sensible. I can see my future in your crystal ball.
Well, DH talked to him.
Well, DH talked to him. Counselor told DH that DH needed to help SS18 set up some life goals -- such as getting enough money in savings to have first and last months rent, deposit and an emergency fund. SS18 isn't really motivated to go out and get a job because he has $2,000 in savings and thinks he can live on that until June. DH told him it would be nice if he didn't have to touch that and could continue to build that up so that he could eventually move out.
So SS is now cleaning horse stalls for a woman 2 days a week for $30 a day. He told me today that he may get an extra day. So $90 a week. I guess its better than nothing. He is still taking his one class that is one full day and then 3 hours another day. I told my DH that SS could be working full-time and should be. He has plenty of spare time.
The great thing about our counselor is that she is a step mom!! So the things I've been trying to tell my DH all this time, she is telling him and I think he is hearing her!! Someone other than me telling him! Such a huge answer to prayer!!
So we'll see how things go with SS in the next few weeks.
When I had this issue I
When I had this issue I stopped cooking for SD18 and the taxi service stopped. I said to her contribute or get out. She got out.
Well, SS18 has his own car
Well, SS18 has his own car that he paid for, he pays his own insurance (we won't), he pays his own gas (we won't) -- but he eats top ramen or mac and cheese. Not a picky eater. My DH won't let me say anything like that, or make him pay rent. Sigh.