POS BioMom has them all drinking the KoolAid
I’ll try to make this short. DH and I have been together for 16 years. Skids are now 24 ss, 19 ss, and 17 sd. I have a daughter 18 and then we have a daughter 12 together. Crazy BM has been working real hard with her PAS. SS, 24 hasn’t spoken to DH in years due the successful attempts by BM.
Big blowout a few months ago between DH and BM resulted in BM using the opportunity to work on the rest of the kids. So SD took to facebook to say some nasty, nasty things about my DH (which our BD saw). My DH ended up taking SD’s car away from her for her disrespect which made for the opportune time for BM to really reinforce the PAS. So now the ONLY one that is on speaking terms with my DH is ss, 19.
Well, the other day, I get a text from SS asking me to stop posting crap on facebook and for me to stop arguing with them. WTH? I have not said ONE THING on there. I don’t put my family drama out there like that. I only sent my SD a text asking her to either stop posting crap about me and her dad on facebook because our Biodaughter sees what she writes and it upsets her. I told her if she wouldn’t stop, then to please make her status updates private from our daughter.
After I texted my SD, BM started texting my DH saying I was “attacking” SD! Far from it! Of course, my DH knows how the evil skank BM is but I showed him the texts anyway just so he could see for himself what I wrote.
So SS was supposed to come over for Thanksgiving. My 12 year old (who loves SS very much) texted him to see if he was coming over to eat. He sent her a msg back that said he couldn’t come over while I was talking crap about his mom all over facebook. I don’t know what he’s looking at. BM is telling him these TOTAL LIES. I always thought he was able to see through his mother’s tactics but apparently it’s been working. She will not be happy until none of those kids are speaking to their father. It is absolutely disgusting!
Oh, and the things that my SD has posted on facebook…….that her dad is a piece of sh*t, loser, not worthy of an apology. That I am a hater and white trash and dog sh*t. Nice huh?
Gotta love Facebook and
Gotta love Facebook and stepkids! Let me tell you, 16 years of PASing WORKS!! No matter what you do to combat it, there is no stopping the effects of it.
Oh I have. The only one i'm
Oh I have. The only one i'm friends with his my ss, but it looks like he's beginning to believe the hate that's being spewed by his mother. I made my daughter remove my SD from facebook because she wouldn't stop her posts. I just didn't want for it to come between my daughter and the skids becuase they are her siblings and she loves them. In all this, my daugher is the one hurting the most over this. Makes me sad....
I would ask for printed proof
I would ask for printed proof of anything you have said about their mom on Facebook.
If he can't produce that, he will have to admit, it is a BIG FAT LIE by his MOM.!!!
There is nothing to print. I
There is nothing to print. I think she told him that I have since removed it. BUT I DID print the hatred on SD's FB. I have several actually. I went through my entire FB just to make sure there wasn't something I put that could've been taken the wrong way and there was absolutely nothing. I'm telling you, BM is so pleased that she got two converted and she is working extra hard on the third one. I honestly think that all she does is bad mouth us ALL DAY LONG. My husband blames BM for all of this, but, you know, i just think they are old enough to see through all this but DH says they have been brainwashed....
THAT is the $10,000
THAT is the $10,000 Question....how much of it is the skids being brainwashed by PASing BM and how much of it is put upon THEM being the ages that they are?
I keep wondering this with my own SD18 who has not willingly talked with us for over a year now.
what is the big deal about
what is the big deal about PAS'd out skids? true, u have to pay CS no matter what, but if bm wants to pas out skids and u dont have to deal with the skids, more power to ya! i would LOVE if sd13 was pas'd out by bm and stayed with bm, then i could actually relax!
as far as fb is concerned, block the lil bitch. dont let your bd be associated with her at all. simple as that.
What has been DH's reaction
What has been DH's reaction towards ss19 for these accusations?
Personally, I would have texted back and told ss "I have no idea what you are talking about ss, I have better things to do than even think about BM let alone talk about her on fb. I suggest if your mother is telling you this, then to get her to report every single post to fb and to print it off in order to show you. Let me guess, she hasnt? Then that says it all. I would also appreciate you stop dragging me into drama I am not interested in...".
I think if you take the "Oh ss what are you talking about? I am really upset you think this of me" route, he may take advantage of your vulnerability and use this as further opportunity to stick the knife in and or disbelieve you. Sometimes taking the moral highground can make sensible kids think twice over what they have initially been told. I would come down firm over this with ss - preferably in person actually so ss cant wheedle out of it or tell you he isnt going to speak to you. Say your piece to him, reason with him regarding the fact he hasnt actually seen these things himself so how does he know BM is telling the truth? If he asks whether you are saying BM is lying, then yes, she is.
The leave it. If he doesnt wish to speak to you after, then so be it. Its sad, but ultimately thats his choice and the silver lining would be that you dont have to deal with stuff like this!
True! My SS texted me again
True! My SS texted me again yesterday out of the blue and said that me and my daughter (18) started all of this. You see, after my BD saw what SD wrote on facebook, my BD (18) texted her and said something about her hiding behind facebook. I explained to my SS, that if, SD is going to publicly put crap on facebook about people, she should expect to get crap back in return. He seemed to understand that and then I told him that all this started (this time) over a disagreement my DH had with BM. It should have been between the two of them but because BM badmouthed DH so badly to her, it prompted SD to write nasty things on facebook, so ultimately, none of this would've happened if his mother wouldn't have gotten SD involved. I also told him that I have never had issues or drama with my BD's father or his girlfriend. That I never speak badly of him EVER and that is one reason why my BD has a good relationship with her father. I think he understood. He ended up just saying that it just shouldn't be this way....that he loves us and just wants it to end. I explained to him that we do not sit and talk about his mother....(the less we hear her name the better). So he's coming over today so we can talk.
I think when he initially texted me, he had his mother, sister, and brother just pressuring him and working on him so hard that he just didn't know where to place his anger over the situation. I feel really sorry for him because he is so torn. He told me he just wanted to do the right thing but he didn't know what that was. What parent would want to put their kids through this????? It is a form of child abuse. I could tell he was so stressed out its been weighing on him heavily.
Let me het this str8 your 12
Let me het this str8 your 12 year old daughter actually loves her 24 year old sb. Can stepbrothers actually have genuine love foe each other. Cause my 16 year old son always tries so hard to bond with his 10 year old sb to the point of neglecting to pay attention to hid 6yo old bio brother. I'm starting to wonder wether stepbrothers are supposed to get along. I don't understand sibling drama because I grew up an only child with no cousins or relatives near my age. So at their age it was just me and my friends. However that did make us verty close
As my old friend Jennifer would certainly say (she's now a child psychiatrist). Facebook is a big part of the problem. She despises it. Though it has some positive uses like keeping me and my friends connected. It is often a conduit for much negative behavior. And combined with a toxic bio mom, you end up in your unenviable situation. Maybe you need to speef to your oldest stepson face to face to convince him your not on Facebook. Was this posted anonymously or under a fake account. I wish you the best of luck.
Tom
Well, my SS ended up not
Well, my SS ended up not coming over. I know my DH talked to him over the phone for about an hour and I'm not sure what was said. It has become such a touchy conversation that I didn't ask too many questions. At this point, I am just completely over the drama and stress it is causing me. All of this has caused me so much anger and pain and I just need to remove myself from the situation. I have been with this kids since they were very little and I did my best to be there for my skids. Even though they never lived with us full-time, they were over a lot. My husband, over the years, has worked out of town a lot, but they would still want to come over and be here with me. I always felt that I was pretty close with them. I was there for all the big moments in their lives. I taught them how to drive a car. I taught SD how to ride a bike. I was highly invested in my skids so it has hurt me considerably with all this crap. So I have decided to focus on my own kids and for now I am "done" with my skids. Sounds bad for me to say that but for my own mental health, I have to remove myself completely. I tired of stressing out about it and thinking about it all the time.