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Confused?

IAmALady77's picture

Submitted by IAmALady77 on Tue, 02/21/2012 - 10:34pm

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I really am lol....somehow I thought that having half LEGAL custody meant that you get to claim your boi kid at least every other year on your taxes in addition to being able to have a say on things like schooling and such? I guess I was wrong? Does anyone know the actual legal definition of HALF LEGAL custody?? Im just kinda mad right now because BM got 6 grand back from SD on her taxes and she seems to think she can move an hour away (eventually...yeah right) and enroll her in whatever school she wants...which is bullshit but thats besides the point....sooooooo am I just confused here? :?

Aeron's picture

Submitted by Aeron on Tue, 02/21/2012 - 11:03pm

It depends on what's in the COs and the divorce decree. DH has joint legal custody, etc etc, is Supposed to have a say in schooling, medical, all that jazz.... in reality - fat chance. BM moved SD around All the time when she was little, basically hid her from DH and the courts did nothing. The claiming of SD on taxes... yea, the courts told DH to suck it even though DH is responsible for paying for 80% of SD. The moving SD around? Oh well DH, suck it up and deal, the courts say too bad so sad, tough luck chump. So schooling - no say for him. As for medical... oh yea, he gets a say.... if you count telling SD or BM the insurance info whenever BM decides to take SD to the ER.

If it's in the divorce decree that he can claim her every other year, then he can - just keep really good records. If it's not in the decree or a CO... eh, you need to ask a lawyer or the IRS. Much of this will also depend on your state - in the state we have to deal with, BM can do pretty much whatever she wants because her uterus at some point functioned.... which could mean easily she can move SD wherever and enroll her wherever and there's crap you can do about it. Hopefully you're a reasonable state that will enforce CO's and actually makes the CO reasonable to begin with.

IAmALady77's picture

Submitted by IAmALady77 on Tue, 02/21/2012 - 11:42pm

hmmm they were never married so no divorce decree? I will def. tell him to talk to his lawyer and see if he can get it put in the custody agreement then...goodness.

dm72900's picture

Submitted by dm72900 on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 12:18am

Unfortunatly in most situations DH'S get screwed in these situations. Happened to us with my SD. I was told to shut the hell up and butt out by BM. I didn't know anything cause I was from another state?!? Really?! It's really tough. Unfortunatly court is generally the only way to attempt to make this be fixed! Good luck. Hopefully you have good luck!

IAmALady77's picture

Submitted by IAmALady77 on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 1:03am

ugh thanks dm72900 (that just took me like 5 minutes to write your name haha) ...we are going back to court as soon as they finish their court ordered mediation(because we already nothing is going to get resolved)...and I will definitely tell him to get his lawyer to try to put that in there. I just think its a little unfair that we have her so much, pay child support and BM wont let SO claim her on his taxes...but then she wants to complain that shes so poor. She says shes putting ALL of her refund into a college fund for SD....ummmm, that is stupid. I am all for putting money aside for your childrens future but SD is 2!!! and BM is living in her sisters basement because she lost her apartment and her job! sooooo frusterating. blahblahblah I could rant all day, but Im tired to off to bed! Some of us actually have jobs and a mortgage lol Biggrin

dm72900's picture

Submitted by dm72900 on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 1:10am

Oh on the tax front! You can claim the support you provide for her. A CPA helped us do this the one year the BM actually made $ and could file taxes. Lol. Ie the square footage or your house that's dedicated to your SD the child support paid etc!! Seek some advise on this issue totally worth it.