This might be a little long, I'll try and sum it up with the highlights...
My situation: Young (mid-twenties) acting step-mom in Ohio (we're not married yet) with a 4 year old ss. DH to-be wants full custody, or at least 75% so ss can come to school where we live. BM is married and lives roughly an hour away. DH and BM were never married, and while they don't talk much, they've always had 50/50 shared parenting of ss. SS is going to be old enough to start kindergarten this year, though DH and I would rather have him start next year at age 6. We have been talking about suing for at least 75% custody for awhile, just between us and our families, for multiple reasons (BM didn't originally want ss when she was pregnant, changed her mind and kept him but has been a lackadaisical parent ever since. SS has come home to us with bumps and bruises that he either can't or won't tell where they're from, he is always sick, if we take him to the Dr. BM gets mad because "he's only supposed to go to her doctors" even tho DH pays for his health insurance. Last Dr visit was the result of a 1 month long cough and upper respiratory deal, which was apparently made worse by BM smoking around ss - ss told the Dr that BM always smoked around him, etc) Now BM is saying she wants to "talk" about school for ss and we're concerned over what is going to happen. As BM is married and has a more financially stable home than ours at the moment (I'm a student, DH works FT) we're concerned the courts will favor her. We're too far away geographically to split custody and keep ss in the same school system, and while ss is noticably happier, calmer and healthier when he is with us, we're unsure how to prove this in the courts.
Does anyone have advice? Has anyone dealt with something similar before? Please offer up advice, constructive criticism, thoughts, anything.
Thank you!
Young SM