Update and vent
Well...we now have FULL custody of SD8 as "Snatchquatch" decided to up and move to Florida. She signed full custody over to Dad and SD has not seen or heard from her since. It has been hectic over here and we have finally scheduled an apt with a psychologist for her on Wednesday. As expected, SD has not handled the situation well. She has been having numerous accidents during the day again like she did before and basically going backwards (regressing). She is no longer doing things for herself and will cry and whine and pout when Dad or I wont step in and do it for her. I am having a very hard time dealing with this and I feel if I disengage, it will make the problem worse. I DO love her but, I dont love how she acts! SD sees NO problem with the way she is acting and isnt the least bit embarrassed either! We were invited to a barbeque this weekend and I (we) had to decline because of her "accidents" and childish behavior. Its starting to get warm here and the ONLY thing that works maybe 20% of the time is taking her bike away until she starts acting like a big girl. Once she gets to ride, she is right back to doing it again. She is totally manipulating us to get what she wants. I know she is going through a hard time dealing with BM moving but...whats the best way I can cope with it without going crazy myself?? She needs to see that acting like that is NOT acceptable right??? I just needed to take the time to vent on here before I vent on SO or anyone else for that matter. SO is sympathetic and is apologetic to me regarding her behavior as he is at his wits end over it as well. I would like to know how all of you would deal or cope with this issue. Thanks for letting me vent!
Katie
WOW! The things some BMs do
WOW! The things some BMs do never ceases to amaze me. I think at the end of the day, you need to stay strong and be there for her. Therapy might be the best thing for her. She'll realize one day that you were the one there when her BM found better things to do.
Praying for you!
I'm sorry, I couldn't get
I'm sorry, I couldn't get past snatchquatch. That is excellent.
I'm so sorry to hear all the
I'm so sorry to hear all the stress that came with BM leaving. Usually we think it's best!
Keep a regular routine with her. That way she knows what to expect and when, hopefully it'll help her adjust quicker. Keep trying to be supportive. It must bee hard to have mommy leave you. DH should be her biggest support so she knows one of her bio parents loves her. Maybe a daddy daughter date could be helpful? Don't let her control you, make sure she knows the adults are in charge. And be patient, poor thing. Hopefully the psychologist will help.
Good luck!
Thanks everyone for your
Thanks everyone for your support! I guess all I can do it take it day by day and try not to stress out over it more then I already am. Thankfully, Dad is supportive of me and is willing to try anything to help me deal with it. I hate not being able to go to family functions or friends houses or wherever on the weekends. I am not embarrassed of SD, I am just embarrassed of how she acts. I hate the fact that I have to take at least 2 changes of clothes for her because of her "so called accidents" There is a difference right? I really dont want to lose friends and the ability to just get out of the house once in awhile just to have some fun and socialize but with her acting the way she does, it makes it even more harder. I have gone alone a couple of times but it just doesnt feel right without SO there with me. We do everything together. I was thinking of taking shorter outings at first and then start increasing the time away from home to see if I feel if its plausible. I know most of you said it will get worse before it gets better and i kind of figured that, its just going to be hard not to stress out over it. I dont want her to think its OK for her to act like she is 1 or 2 and there need to be consequences to her actions. Its like its totally normal for her to act like that and do the things she is doing and sees no problem with it...that irks me big time! Thanks again everyone!
Katie