Health insurance premiums/deductibles
My ex and I are both remarried and share custody of our two kids 50/50. Both of our spouses have kids and they both have insurance plans that cover them+ spouse(us)+ skids. Since it is a single fee for 1 or more kids, my two kids can be added to either plan at no cost. My ex offered to have them on her plan and now she is demanding that I pay for half of the "+Kids" portion of the premiums. It seems to me that since our kids are added for free, I should not be paying for this. Otherwise, I would want the kids on my wife's insurance and let the ex pay me half of the premiums we are paying for my "+kids"!
Also, she wants me to pay the deductible that her husband and his kids would normally use up in a year. this means she would have a serious incentive to take our kids into the doctor a lot early in the year to get me to pay as much of her family's deducible as possible. This seems like a ridiculous notion to me, but she won't even discuss the issue. Our divorce decree says we will split the cost of health care expenses, but since adding my kids to their plan does not add any premium or deductible costs, it seems that I shouldn't be paying her for the premiums and deductible.
Of course, there is no question that I pay half of all co-pay costs, lab fees, etc, just not the premiums or deductible. I don't have any problem paying the deductible, too, if they show me that the ex, her husband, and his two kids didn't use up the deductible, but I believe that they do.
Are there any standard ways of addressing this particular issue? I can't be the first person to encounter his problem and the ex is driving me nuts. She will not even talk about the issue!
In our situation, both new
In our situation, both new couples have an understanding and a commitment to our kids. Neither of the two step parents ever enter in the equation for support. However, there are four health plans available (one from each of us), so we chose the one that should have cost the least for the coverage the kids needed. However, if it turns out that I would need to pay these premiums and deductible costs, this plan is quite a bit more costly (for me) than having the kids my own plan.
In all of our insurance plans, the premiums do NOT increase with the addition of the two kids. There is a single adder for ALL kids on the plan. My wife and I already pay for this adder, as does my ex wife's husband for his two kids. This is where I have a problem with your assessment of the premiums. Using hypothetical numbers, if my ex wife's husband has my kids on his plan, the cost is $200 per month. If he only has his own two kids on his plan, and my kids are instead on my plan, the cost is still $200 for him. In what way does it make sense for me to pay them half of the "+kids" adder? That means he is just getting free money from me. As I said before, if this were the case, I would want them on my insurance and let them give me the $50. It costs me nothing more, and I would be getting a $50 credit for no particular reason. As far as I'm concerned, for an obligation to exist a cost MUST be incurred.
Is there a reference for the statement saying that the deductible is moot? I don't agree with the statement on it's merrits. The individual deductible is $400, with a family deductible of $800. If my kids just happen to be the first to get sick a couple times in the year ($400 each for a total of $800), then everyone else in the family has NO share in the deductible? That makes no sense. That's like playing russian roulette with the financial obligations. If this is the way it should be, then I would want them on my insurance. Then the ex would be paying for half of my deductible every year.
My thought on this is that the expense sharing should be balanced and fair to minimize the incentive for either parent to 'game' the system. Any parent's obligation (outside of base child support) should be for actual costs incurred due to supporting the children.
Stop being greedy and pay
Stop being greedy and pay half the premium.
I don't think that it is
I don't think that it is greedy to calculate things properly. I have payed and provided for many things above and beyond my child support obligations (Paid 100% of braces, 3 years of karate lessons, and even gave the ex a bonus $2000 each of the last three years while she was taking classes for her degree). However, when I do so, I refuse to do it under the presumption that it is required. In this case, I would even consider paying for some of these expenses if they need help, but I will not conceed that it is required.
In our situation, all four of us (me, ex wife, and both our spouses) are employed and have health benefits available. In all cases there is a SINGLE fee for "+kids", so it costs the same for having 1 kid as it does for having 10 kids on the plan. My wife and I have a daugher, so we already pay for a "+kids" fee on our insurance. The ex wifes husband has two kids on his plan, so he already pays his "+kids" fee. Adding my kids to either plan does not impact either premium payments. In this situation, it makes no sense for my ex or me to be paying additional for the "+kids" premium on eitheir plan. Otherwise, I would want the kids on my plan and have her pay me for the "+kids" on my plan! The kids were eligible to be added to any of the policies and we all agreed to put the kids on my ex wife's husband's plan because it had the best coverage. But if it is going to cost me $1500 a year more, then I would rather have them on my plan. They can pay me the $1500!
I don't think the other
I don't think the other posters read your post very well. What you are wanting to do is perfectly fine, but the trick is how to get the exw to go along with it, and give up trying to milk you for more money. I would simply add the kids to your wife's family policy. If exw doesn't go along with it, her problem. Let her take you to court. But definitely send her an email, or better yet, a certified letter, stating that the kids would be added to XYZ policy, that there is no added premium, but you will give her receipts for any medical bills, and she should do the same for you. That way if she tries to take you to court, you can show you have taken care of the insurance issue.
Did you both just get remarried? Are you able to add/remove children from a policy at any time?
Unfortunately no. The kids
Unfortunately no. The kids have been on their step-father's plan since he and my ex got married last August. Their deductible must have been paid by then, because none of this came up last year. His plan would be the best deal for all involved if they weren't trying to make me pay twice, but if this is the way it is going to go, maybe I will try to get them on my plan an have her pay me. It just is a bummer when you waste all this energy and time worrying about this stuff when it could be quickly resolved with a short, level headed conversation.
Her most recent position is that she is "perfectly willing to talk... " after I give her the money. We have a stipulation in our divorce decree that we are supposed to go to mediation before we go to court. Perhaps I will let her be difficult and just not pay her until she decides whether she would rather pay for a mediator or finally talk.
My only concern is all the scary stories I hear about programs set up to garnish wages, etc. From some stories I've heard, they won't even notify you that a claim has been made or give you an opportunity to defend yourself, they'll just start taking your money. I don't want to deal with all that now. :jawdrop:
I will try to get them on my
I will try to get them on my strategy. It just is a bummer when you spend all this efforts and power concerning about this things when it could be easily settled with a brief, stage advancing discussion about good health insurance..