BM getting me on Contempt Charges? lol
Earlier this year, I posted about entering into an agreement with BM to provide my skids with medical, dental, and vision insurance. After 30 days of insanity where I was told we were trying to "screw" her because she was going to be responsible for the $15 co-pays, being told she may not be able to pay the costs she agreed to and then flat out being rude to me by email (in all caps), I chose to cancel the insurance. Why the hell should I put up with this crap before the cards were even handed over? I was honestly trying to do something nice for the skids, but with their behavior lately, I am really glad I didn't.
Anyways, BM filed contempt of court saying that DH did not "honor the medical agreement". An agreement that states that I will provide insurance for as long as I want to and if I don't want to, then DH will provide it if available through his employer, if not available, BM will provide it through her employer. She has refused to reinstate their insurance. How can the judge even make a decision on this? BM is fully convinced that I will be forced to provide insurance but I am not even a party to the case, lol.
She is also claiming $13000 in back child support. The judge told my DH that child support is based on ability to pay and ordered $894 a month, plus $500 spousal support. We got all of DH's receipts since he divorced BM 33 months ago and he has given her $54,000 - $7,000 more than he would have had to pay with the court ordered support amount. He was stupid to agree to a $2500 a month support payment (on $4000 a month before taxes), but she promised she would never go after him for back support if he agreed and tried to give her that much. Any ideas on how the court will go on this?
Lastly, she wants him to sign the deed to the house over to her so she can try to modify the loan (she is in foreclosure). He doesn't want to stay on a 30 year loan with her and so worked up an agreement to sign it over to her if she refinances within 5 years, when the youngest skid turns 18. She refused. Can the courts force him to stay on this loan with her? Especially if she refuses to pay the mortgage?
You're the step-father right?
You're the step-father right? The bio-mother is your wife and she's .... sorry I'm lost. Maybe I should go to bed.
No - I am the stepmother. I
No - I am the stepmother. I am married to their father and BM is the skanky trash that he knocked up at age 20, sigh.
No one really knows how the
No one really knows how the courts will rule on anything. All depends on the judge and what kind of mood he's in.
I remember this story from before, and it still bothers me that you think providing insurance is something for the kids. Insurance is to protect HIS ass, and yours as well. Because if something happens to them, it WILL affect him financially and trickle down to you. I would get the insurance on them on not tell the bm until it's straightened out.
A court can't rule that a
A court can't rule that a third party provide for someone elses children. We filed for divorce anyways (quietly) to protect my assets from the foreclosure on their house, so no, nothing will come back on me if something happens tot he skids. What definately COULD happen is that BM runs up all kinds of bills on my insurance policy, doesn't pay them, and I get stuck with them or even just miss them and it hits my credit. We had this happen last year on a bill for DH that we actually paid. Hospitals don't mess around anymore.
Oh - you're the step-mother.
Oh - you're the step-mother. You're named in the court order as being first up to bat to provide medical to your step-kids? Why did you let yourself get involved? You can volunteer that without being in the court order.
If he didn't pay what was in the court order then he's in arrears unless the bio-moother agreed in writing (hopefully signed in front of a Notary Public) to some other amount.
Sure the court can order he stay on the loan. Its just part of the child-support/ alamony business. Will the court do that? It depends on all the other details unkown to me.
I am not named in a court
I am not named in a court order to provide anything - I was trying to do something nice for the skids, 1. BM was paying $600 a month on a $1500 a month income for their insurance from her work, 2. my SD will be 18 in June and wanted to insure her while she is in college, and 3. my insurance is really, really good. BM has SS12 on every medication imaginable and he needs braces. I was hoping that he could get them with my insurance and the extra money would go to the skids if BM wasn't paying for her policy. I am darn well NOT going to do this if she wants to be a bitch though.
We typed up an agreement that stated I would provide insurance for as long as i choose to and set forth all the payment agreements so that I had some recourse when BM started trying not to pay for her own kids.
I also have the child on my
I also have the child on my health, dental, and vision insurance because the kid was on state aid, and while she wanted to keep state aid (no copays), the courts ordered my husband to pay for insurance. I had already carried the insurance because mine is way cheaper and far better than through his employer. So I made the choice to put him on mine, because in the long run it was much much cheaper. I had to turn in a court order stating that he was my husband and that the child was his, and needed to be covered. But I was told if I want to boot him off of my plans, I need a court order to do so. Which I wanted to because the BM made a huge stink about keeping his medical info private (we suspect something is wrong with the child) so she lied to the insurance company, plus she is manipulative and I have virtually no recourse if she is fradulent with the insurance. We are going to discuss this at remod because the judge told her NOT to do that.
She did threaten me with contempt last year because I changed plans--that plan was being phased out for a new plan so I didn't have a choice, plus I added the child to my dental and vision--didn't have a choice because I added both my kids to the new dental and vision plans and there wasn't an option to NOT add the other child--it was all or nothing. She never filed, but complained at a harassment hearing (we filed that one). The courts told her they couldn't believe she was actually complaining that we were covering the kid with MORE insurance (dental and vision are NOT in the court order), and that our insurance was better than state aid. Turns out state aid actually is the secondary insurance so she still doesn't have to pay the copays.
I wish I didn't have the child on anything with my name on it--all the cards have my name and employer on them--but when I crunched numbers it is the cheaper option--cheaper by thousands of dollars. At least I hope the BM has to explain why another woman is providing for her child, and she's embarrassed by that.
Not sure what to say about the loan though, that sounds messy.
Same situation here
I feel you on this hopefully your skids aren’t disrespectful to you like mine are. I’m in the exact situation i have the better insurance so guess I’m f*ed with that
if you are not the childrens
if you are not the childrens blood parent and were just trying to be nice you should take yourself out of this awkward position. Being nice does'nt always get you nice treament or respect from ur skids trust me i know. In a way i wish I would have just decided to live with my husband for several years before we got married. The skids were pros at putting on the fake feelings. Step parents have one of the hardest jobs in my opinion. We are scrutinized and picked apart, and unless we are like the Kardashians and can cater to their every whim, tossed to the dogs. I believe if you begin a marriage involving very young skids you can make it work and feel good, the older ones are going to turn on you if it benefits them
My skids were older 18 an 19
My skids were older 18 an 19 when we got married. At first sweet and kind once dad and I got our financial belt tightened that all ended. They went to the extreme of trying to beat on my son who is 5 years younger. That did'nt go over well with me. I told my husband if he had one hair on his head hurt i would have his son arrested. He even threatened me, a woman. But not to my face he told my son I would be leaving in a body bag. I caught up with him and told him" Hey do you think you scare me? You don't. Only a wussy would send such a message through another person. You got something to say to me say it to my face." I believe he uses drugs on weekends could be more often but he holds his job down so i don't know really. His kids don't care what their dad does without never have. Whe we got married we remodeled the home. He was so proud and his family would come for dinners it was nice. They don't want him to have a life and i'm deternined to have one with him. They have backed off once i started standing up to them. My SD and I don't speak and the space is sooooo good for me. She has how can I put it an evil side. I'm happy she's on her own and I don't have to deal with it anymore. His son and I tolerate each other, hi whats up?, things like that.