I am fairly new to this site and at first I really loved coming here and getting advice and just being able to vent about my angers and frustrations. I however have been getting people on here that are always telling me that I am crazy and that I need to leave my SO. These suggestions are not because of the way he treats me or really has anything to do with our relationships or struggles. The only reason people are telling me to leave is because ... YES... He has four children from four different women.

Now I have been with this man for quite a while now and I am well aware of the four children and their BM's. I knew that before I even made the decision to talk to this man. I KNOW and am well aware of this. I am also well aware of the fact that when there are four little girls and four BM's involved that that is a lot of female hormones flying around in one room. I have heard it all from people who like to judge others.

People are always assuming that he is bad dad to his children. Well in fact he is not. He is one of the most involved dad's I have ever known. I also know he is not perfect but he is trying. He reads all the time on how to be a better dad to his children because he didn't have a father growing up. I have never known a more dedicated father who is going way out of his way to support his children in every way he can.

People also assume that he can't and does not pay child support for his children or if he does that we are broke ass people or I am the one supporting us. That is also not true. He is fully caught up on all child support matters. He pays every month on time and the amount that is ordered. Yes they do take almost half of his pay check. This meant that he had to find a good paying job in order for him to support himself as well. He got a job as... yes... a garbage man. He loves his job. He makes great money and has good hours. He also has lost almost 100 lbs since starting his job a year ago. It may not be the ideal job for most people or a very glamorous job at that but he knew that he could not be picky and that his children needed him to get a good job. He did it for his family and for me none the less. I was not going to support this man or his children and he knew that. He also provides for EVERYTHING his kids need while they are here. They all have a whole closet and dressers full of clothes, And shoes like crazy. Yes I DO buy them things. Not because they need it but because I want to buy them things because I like to. He has tried to tell me not to or tell me to stop but he has learned that he can't because I like to buy things for other people. That is who I am and that will not change. Now I don't go out and go crazy but I love to shop and thrift stores and find great deals so that's where most of the stuff I buy comes from. SO gives each child $100 at the beginning of summer and beginning of the fall/winter season to buy what they would like with their money. The kids have learned from me and him how to streach the $ out. They know how to find coupons for things and when things go on sale or to wait for it to go on sale as well. He also pays for their sports or camps when they are with him. He works 50 + hours a week in order to do this for his children. He pays almost $1000 a month in CS. He is making it work for them. He pays half of medical and dental. And yes he pays half of our rent and utilities and half of the food when we buy food together. They litterally run the card once for half on mine and half on his.

People also assume that he must be a player because of the four different BM issue. Well that is not true. Yes he lacks in the ability to choose decent women to date but we have all made those mistakes. People also assume he has not respect for women either. That is not true. All of the BM's at least can agree on one thing. He always treated them with respect and love even when they were being emotionally abusive or physically abusive toward him. Now BM#2 is not included because she never had a relationship with SO just a friendship. He did not go around sticking his dick in anything that would give him a child. That's not how that was at all.

He made some mistakes, yes. He also thought he was being safe by using condoms with #1 and #2. He was married to #3 and was engaged to #4 (who btw could not 'have' children according to the DR's) Yes he had to have DNA tests done on his children because these women also had admitted that they were sleeping with other people as well. That does not make him the bad person does it? He can't control if they went out and cheated on him. Yes his choice in women may have been of bad judgment that only reflects his ability to "judge" others. He does want to be a father and is sick of having his children taken away from him. He wants nothing else to be a full time dad all the time and if that was a crime then so is it.

I am just tired of people on this site making and passing judgment on my SO and me. I am well aware of the situation in which I am getting myself into. I am also protecting myself financially as well. He pays for his half of everything. I am well aware of the issues I am going to face in the future if I decide to marry this man and have another child with him. I am well aware of the financial issues that will or could occur I am aware of the nonstop drama that also will be there. I am also aware of other's that will continue to pass judgment on me and my SO by calling me #5. I am aware of all of this.

People on here don't get to hear all the good things that SO has done for me. And because of the nature in which they contain I have decided not to share them as they are very personal issues. SO was the one who gave ME a place to stay for a while when I had nowhere to go.

I just don't understand why when I post things like... I am lucky to be loved and to love, describing how lucky I am to have such wonderful FSD's and SO and how much I love them and I feel loved that people need to start in on trash talking me and my SO for having 4 BM's. I don't see how that is relevant. Or how when one of the BM's calls the cops to have the child taken away from her father because she is mad at him, has anything to do with him having 4 BM's again. Or how people think the judge should take the child out of the home all together from both parents, simply because he has 4 BM's. There is nothing SO has ever done in his current or past situations that would justify having his children taken away from them, NOTHING.

I am sorry if you don't like the situation in which I have chosen for myself. I understand that I am not choosing the easy path here. I know I am in for a lot of stress, drama and financial issues if I choose to stay. I am aware of that. So far we have both made it work and are closer because of all the issues we have had to face already so early in our relationship. We have managed to pay off a lot of our debt and to save up money.

I have asked specific people on this site whom have nothing nice to stay to please leave me alone. There are those who want to tell lies- or as some may say get their facts mixed up, but when I have corrected them on their 'facts' they continue to tell them wrong, I consider that lies. I have tried to delete the mean comments from those people and they re-post them. I have been forced to delete all of my Blogs because of the hurtful things they would continue to post on them. I have chose to remove some due to privacy and not wanting any BM to get a hold of them as we are in court custody proceedings right now.

I came here to vent. I understand that some people think they are giving me helpful advice and are trying to 'save' me from myself. I did not come here to be saved. I did not come here to be talked out of my relationship. If I am making a big mistake then It is something I have to make on my own and figure out for myself and yes all the haters can say " I told you so" if that day ever comes.

So if you are one of those haters. I am asking AGAIN to please refrain yourself from making nasty and rude comments about me or my SO. I don't want to be talked out of my relationship, I am fully aware of the fact that he has 4 BM's and 4 children. You don't know him and you don't know me. Please respect my requests when I ask you to please leave me alone. I have personally asked specific people and they know who they are. They continue to bully and taunt me because they are unhappy in their own lives. If I delete your comment because it is mean, please do not re-post it.