reason why i hate sd and other random thoughts
bd and i had a fun first-day-of-summer-vaycay, and she fell asleep at like 7pm 
so i have extra time to think, which sometimes isnt a good thing lol.
WHY I HATE SD13: (note: some of these reasons are rediculous lol)
pretty hair (before dying it a million times), perfect body, can wear anything, has a fashion sense, looks very pretty with or without makeup, can sing, has always had freedom my sheltered ass could only dream about, a daddys girl. always has gotten what she wants, when she wants, never went without things she needs, doted on by daddykins to the fuckin fullest. has never known how lucky she actually is.
manipulative, liar, theif, home-wrecker, drug-addict, sex-addict, impulsive, uneducated (by her own fault). has all the help int he world at her fingertips and shrugs it away. finds loopholes with the system, never gets in trouble properly or at all, even when caught red-handed.
FUCKIN SPOILED PIECE OF SHIT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RANDOM THOUGHTS:
before bf, i was in a relationship with a guy who gave me one yr of wonderfulness...the remaining 5yrs of the relationship, i chased him, he made me beleive that i had to change and beg for his love and affection, i was always asking him what i can do to make him love me and he would actually give me ways to do it, though love never came...we lived together for 6 months after 6 yrs of being together and he refused to share a room with me. long story short, he abused me. hel, he even refused to have sex with me, said he wanted to be a virgin till marriage, but came to find out he had cheated on me several times....so i left.
bf now promised me 7yrs ago he would spoil me and treat me like the princess my ex never did. he made me feel like a woman. now i dont know what i feel like except a fool. a fool for falling in love with a man with more baggage than a fuckin airport. a fool for thinking that i would ever be with anyone who will treat me right. a fool for thinking i am worthy of being treated like a princess, like someone's number one. a fool for thinking i am somebody.
my father. i grew up watching my cousins being daddys girls. i grew up wanting to be doted on. i wasnt. so, beginning in 5th grade, i started looking for a boyfriend, a male to make me feel how my cousins felt---yes, i was the girl looking to older guys, and actually went for my male teacher (didnt end well), i got an umpire fired, and basically looked like a fool cause i was going for people unreachable....i was looking for a daddy-figure indirectly. and u know what? that hasnt stopped. i have always been jealous of sd and bf's relationship...the closeness...and even now how he acts like he's in love with her (not litterally). i mean, am i psycho?
i have a void in my life. a void that i used to fill with food but now food makes me sick. i thought having bd5 would fill it (she was not planned) but even though i love her to death, my void isnt filled. getting another dog wont either. i just dnt know anymore....period must be coming...
ok so now that everyone here must think im nuts lol i will end this.
yes, i have tried therapy
yes, i have tried therapy many times throughout my life....i really like it, having that hr for it to be all about me, but sadly my insurance situation doesnt allow me to do it right now
how did you overcome your issues?
Christ helped me fill that
Christ helped me fill that void more than anything. That being said, I think this world has much sorrow and until we will die there will probably always be a feeling of something missing (for me anyway, I had a crappy childhood too). My faith has definitely helped and stopped that bottomless pit depression.
Maybe filling your life with
Maybe filling your life with happiness will make you more confident. Don't depend on a man's love to fill your life. Find friends, a good job you love if possible, go to church, wear nice flattering clothes and walk with your chin up. Bring on the mysterious woman you always wanted to be and make your man WANT to be with you. It's tough to do and takes a lot of guts, but it drives the man crazy. Take dancing lessons
Send him a flirty look and then walk away, tell him you would love to stay in for the night but you have a meeting to go to or you are off to do this or that. Soon his curiousity will have him looking at you differently. Use your woman "powers"!!!! Be a princess and then watch him treat you like one! But don't let him treat you before you're ready, let him WANT to treat you like THE PRINCESS YOU ARE!! 
You go girl!!
You and your SD both have
You and your SD both have daddy issues.
SD's issues all point back to her father's lack of parenting. Some kids who appear to have it all, act out because they want their parents to parent.
If both men, (your dad and BF) had been able\willing to find that parenting middle ground, both you and SD would be better off.
OP, treat yourself like a princess. No man will ever be able to love you more than you love yourself.
You can never depend on a man
You can never depend on a man to make your life whole. You need to find a way to feel complete without a man, and I think counseling can help with that. It will also give you someone to talk to abut everything - a neutral party. No harm can come of it.. think about it. Once you've worked on yourself, everything else will start falling into place - because you won't have such high expectations that shouldn't be there AND you'll know when you're not getting what you need and be able to remove yourself from relationships that aren't good for you. I'm wishing you the best of luck in finding your happy spot.
I am no counselor, but I will
I am no counselor, but I will give you a small bit of advice that was given to me by a friend. Stop looking to other people for you happiness, feeling sorry for what you have not had will only drowned out what you do. Or in the words of Carl Jung:-
"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity."
Apart from the drugs etc, you should try and not project your annoyance for not having the relationship with your father that you would have liked on to your SD its not her fault, her ungratefulness is there because she has never seen the opposite side of the coin and probably never will . My partner was jealous of one of her family members (long before I met her) due to them having a better life which lead her into a very dark time for which she is totally regretful for,the jealousy became all consuming and made her do things she would not have otherwise did.
I am a man and I will tell you straight never believe half of the promises men tell you, most of them as just agreements to woo you or to make themselves appear better then they actually are. Its like a peacock fluttering its feathers, the dream will NEVER live up to the reality.
As I said in my beginning paragraph stop looking outward for happiness start looking inside, you have a void which needs filled you have admitted you have daddy issues which more than likely will never be resolved so stop dwelling on them. Stop going around and comparing your 'past' life with peoples present ones as you can not time travel and have no way of fixing your past.
Look to the future and place your future happiness in your hands, you are strong enough and have all you need to make yourself happy and all you need is a decision. Wake up look in the mirror every morning with this positive affirmation. I am and will be happy!
It sounds like you resent SD
It sounds like you resent SD because you see your young self in her. You both have male issues, particular father figure issues.