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Get her out of my house!!!

Victoria_K74's picture

My 22 year old step daughter is the laziest, person I know. She is the mother of a precious, 13month old. She is going to destroy any hope of him having a decent life. We can't tell her anything because she knows it all, I have been walking on egg-shells around her for over 2 years now. And i'm done playing door-mat. We rented our upstairs apartment to her at a great rate = financial loss for us. She can't even pay $200 a month. She'd rather by concert tickets, and tattoo touch-ups than pay her rent. She won't even put in the petition for child support, it would pay your rent... duh!

For the past 10 days she has been dodging me ever since she told me she was paying the rent late, she has never paid the rent in 6 months! she always promises then disappears. She has completely taken advantage of her father's kindness. He turns to mush when he tries to put the law down to her. She knows how to manipulate him, "here grandpa hold the baby" And then nothing ever comes of this laying of the law.

So I am taking it into my own hands, I want her out. My home is not a sluts-r-us storage facility. I want to pack her crap up and let her know she is no longer going to live here. But how do I do this when she is never home??? She doesnt answer my calls, and she just texts me tons of bull shit excuses. She has cost me thousands in lost rental income, what do I do??

TASHA1983's picture

Pack up ALL her shit when she is not there and then change the locks...tell her her shit is in storage...HAVE A NICE LIFE BITCH Wink

Victoria_K74's picture

Thanks for your advice, I would love to do this, this has gone on long enough. I'm not sure I have the kahunas...

TASHA1983's picture

Think of it this way...you are NOT doing this girl any favors by letting her get away with this horse shit she is pulling..you are further enabling this behavior and disrespect to continue...tell that to DH/SO. It doesnt mean that you dont love her or the GK but she is an adult and she HAS to learn that in life she will not always get her way and be able to live on Easy Street!!!

Be strong and keep telling yourself that you ARE doing RIGHT by her!!! Because otherwise she will never learn or change and I know you dont want the cycle to continue on to the grandbaby as well....hope this helps to give you the strength to put her ass out Smile

instantfamily's picture

Unfortunately she is a tenant and you will have to go through the eviction process. You touch her stuff, you'll be in a heap of legal trouble. Check your states landlord/tenant law and find out if you can terminate her lease. My state you can give a 20 or 30 (depending on county) termination of lease notice. Then mail one to her certified so she has to sign for it. If she won't leave, start the eviction process. Definitely document what' happened that has made her a poor tenant in case she takes you to court. CYA- cover your ass. If the house is yours and not both of yours this should be a piece of cake. May take a few months, but it'll get done.

Victoria_K74's picture

To Office Max I go, I definitely don't want any stupid legal troubles, I am hoping that If she finally faces me I will tell her she has to go and have her served with the eviction. Hopefully she will be so angry she will try to cause me bodily harm and off to jail she goes.

instantfamily's picture

I'd recommend the termination of lease notice first. Then when she freaks out, you can tell her you're doing it out of kindness because if you have to move to evict, she will NOT be able to rent anywhere with that on her record so you're trying to spare her credit. Even when the eviction process is started and filed, it's a legal doc in court and you can also add "by the way, your future landlord will call to inquire if you were a good tenant; we will say yes and not mention you haven't paid in 6 months if you leave peacefully and don't play games with your dad seeing the baby".

janeyc's picture

I would pack her stuff, change the locks and wait to see her, you have been more than patient with her, as others have said this easy life is doing her no favours at all, she needs a shock, she knows how to push her fathers buttons, but you see her for what she really is, do let us know how things work out and good luck.

Sweetnothings's picture

Is your DH on your side about this ?? I know you say he goes mushy when she plays the mushy card, and uses her kid to manipulate him. I agree with all the above advice, it needs to be done ASAP !!!

I, too, had to get busy when the DH was dragging his heels over sd21 leaving us to return to her original country to continue her education/ training. He would have had her sitting around for a month or two, being even more lazy through the Summer..... She doesn't work. I got super helpful, had her packed and shipped within a week or two, I just sucked it up, knowing it was leading to a peaceful ( well a bit more peaceful !!) life !!!

I hope your DH can stay strong and get her to start taking some responsibilty in her life..... Good luck !!!

Victoria_K74's picture

He is totally on my side, he just knows that she is his baby his very first, when she was little they were thick as thieves. He is a real "tough guy" but when it comes to his children he's Mr. Softee. He has told me, just do it get her out of here and I will stand by you 100%.

I work full time, (it's slow today, that's how I found you guys) I'm tired at the end of the day, I want to relax and I can't. I need to make sure I am alert and aware until the time that I go to sleep. God forbid she sneeks into this house with out my knowledge and I cant confront her.

The delay is killing me.
I can't wait to have peace.

stepmisery's picture

I hope this works out and you can get her removed. I feel a little concerned that your DH has set you up to be the bad guy, you will get all the blame, he can still be on her side and you will become the big bad meanie who put a helpless mother and infant out on the cold, wet streets.

I truly hope that when she comes screaming at her daddy, because she will, that he is prepared to say "this is OUR decision" and not mumble some horrid version of "well SM thinks it is best" to try to placate her.

Does the notice on the door have to be signed? Make him sign it.

sandye21's picture

I agree the notice needs to be signed by DH. Also, get in touch with a real estate lawyer. They can even give you advice on the phone. That way you will be covered legally.

Victoria_K74's picture

Thank you, all of you! I am on my way to get the forms now. I will keep you posted.
I should have done this a long time ago, but i was afraid of being the bad guy... Not anymore. Life as a grown-up is not easy. Now I KNOW I am doing the right thing.

Serving up a batch of steaming Tough Love! }:)

Orange County Ca's picture

You husband is lucky he has you around. Good luck in keeping him on track while this goes down.

If the house is also in your name its likely you can act unilaterally - that is without his backing or support. If you are a owner find out if you can act alone as I see him turning mushy when daughter says she found a place to stay under a bridge.

Victoria_K74's picture

Hi there, Well she finally got all of her crap out of my house today & I got my key back. And my husband finally boiled over on her and let her have it, the police came to the house, no big deal. SD gave the baby to his father over a week ago so she could go slutting around town with her new internet porn star room mate. Needless to say SD not going to be able to maintain full custody of the baby once we go to court next week. We are appearing on behalf of the baby's father to help ensure that he retains custody of the baby.
Thank you all again.

omgsaveme's picture

Wow, good for you !My DH would never, his brat can do no wrong EVER ! I am glad your DH stood by your side and supported you. Hopefully she will learn