DH and pictures!
Since I have disengaged from my SK's I am trying to have a normal life . This is what just tick's me off.I want me my DH and my daughter to have fall pictures made .I had no clue it was going to be such a hassel. MY husband really doesnt want to have pictures made of his family because he's afraid Im going to put them on FB and his bosses will hear about it and then my Dh will have a butt chewing coming.I dont give a rip. How stupid .If I want to put our picture in the local paper well then its our business.I dont get these men. What's the point of being married if you have to obey SK's .It would please me real good if his kids saw our family picture's . I am so mad . It just tells me his kids have control of us still and I will not take it . I guess its not back to normal 
My DH kids wont give him a picture of his grandkids to bring to his own house. They tell him they dont want me to see their kids .(a bunch of freak's). I sure dont mind to let them see our family picture. 
.Will it ever end?
Maybe you said something in a
Maybe you said something in a previous blog but what does his bosses have to do with the step kids?
I think she means that his
I think she means that his Skids are his bosses - not literally, but in a way that they control his every move.
I am assuming that "bosses"
I am assuming that "bosses" is in reference to his kids...as she says they "control" everything and he lets them....skids suck!!!!
Sorry, guess I'm a little
Sorry, guess I'm a little slow this morning.
I thought the same thing -
I thought the same thing - WTH does his JOB care about family pics? Ohhhh, she meant the SKIDS! Guess I need more coffee??
How about take all kids to
How about take all kids to get pictures taken? Take pictures of you and DH...you and your kid...DH and his kids...you, DH and your kid...ect. then you get to pick from those the one you want.
Im sorry.I should have
Im sorry.I should have explained better. Bosses was meant toward his kids. I dont get it why we cant have our pictures made and if his kids are offended( oh well). I dont care if they blow a stack . He is my DH and I want a normal life doing what normal married people do. It really make me mad . They havent said they want any pictures made of DH and them. They are mad at him because he dont jump at their commands like he use to. If he dereads facing his kids when our pictures are made and they tell him off I hope he will tell them they are the one's causing the drama and backoff and stay out of our business.If SK's want family pictures made the only way they would do that is if BM was in the picture .DH wont do that at all and if they dont have it their way then they wont have any pictures made.So I say we should have our family pictures made and if his kids get mad well then too bad.
I kind of understand your
I kind of understand your DH’s point unless these are adult skids you are talking about. Then he is out of line.
I am just suggesting this so you get what you want. Compromise goes a long way sometimes.
Aren't your skids adults?
Aren't your skids adults? That is just ridiculous that you can't have a family picture without them. My dad has family of pictures of him, his wife, and my brothers that me and my sisters are not in. Doesn't bother me at all. It is not with malicious intent. My sisters and I have not lived at home since before my brothers were born.
Years ago, my dad's wife had all 5 of us kids sit for a picture for my dad for Father's Day, but that's about it.
And your skids won't even give their dad a picture of his grandkids? Nice.
Will it ever end, you ask? Nope, not if your DH keeps catering to them. And keeps being afraid of them. And keeps letting them run his life.
i hate it when people get
i hate it when people get pictures like that. my aunt and uncle had one done when my cousin's were 6 and a newborn. my uncle was being an ass that day and yelling at the 6 year old. my aunt has a barely their half ass "smile", my uncle wasn't smiling at all, and the 6 year old had a fake smile, but clearly he tried the hardest. it was an awful picture. i hated looking at it.
my cousin and her family had a picture done a couple years ago and the kids (both teens) were fighting. she has a fake smile, dh has no smile, teen boy looked pissed and teen girl was smiling. she also let her son wear a baseball cap which looked ridiculous. it's a horrible picture and she has it in 20x24 or something huge like that and hanging near their kitchen.
How old are all of the
How old are all of the kids/skids?
Then her DH is being a giant
Then her DH is being a giant wuss.
This is an awesome idea!! ...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"I think you should go get your picture taken with your daughter, perhaps with your folks or siblings too. Make it a big family picture and your DH can stay home. Then mount an 8x10 in the hallway."
that pisses me off for you.
that pisses me off for you. if they are adults, what the hell does it matter if you get a picture without them? they have their own families now. we got pics done right after bs4 was born. sd was 15 and was included. she is now 20 and pregnant. i'm getting pics done again next year. no, she will not be invited. i'm sure she'll be pissed and expect that her and her bf and kid should have been a part of our pics. because that makes so much more sense than getting their own done! (eye roll). i don't expect that fdh will say anything, but if he did, i would ask him if he would expect his parents and their spouses to include him in their pictures. i would point out that sd is an ADULT with her own kid and bf and get her own if she wants. you don't get to be the kid in your parent's family and the adult/spouse/parent in your own family at the same time. life changes. get over it. it's a stupid thing for these asshole kids and their dads to be having fits over. and this issue strikes a hell of a nerve in me!
after years of commentary
after years of commentary from our sk's 38 & 41 on my own fb pics, re:how could our family vacation without them knowing and being invited?, with our own young adult kids, my husband deactivated his facebook and I de friended the older sd. The younger sd de friended me and dh in a fit of rage. They take vacations with dh's siblings but we have different rules. Now that they live driving distance and visited over the summer my bio daughter and I have received fb friend requests from them. I have ignored them all, LOL good luck ever seeing my FB after criticizing my pics and posts...I am "too invested" in our kids...according to them! HUH? LOL!!! Just cuz their mom was a looser mother, am I supposed to be too?
I would tell ur dh you wont post them and then post them in a couple of months...fb setting change constantly anything could happen to make them appear after you posted to only good friends!LOL
You married this guy because
You married this guy because of the traits he exhibited. One of the traits was he is a nice guy who is easy to manipulate. Like in most second families the first set of children weild more power then the second wife and family.
So they'll manipulate until he realizes it will never end. Meanwhile you have to accept that this is the type of guy you married. He is what he is - don't blame him but accept that this is how you chose to live.
Work around it - take the pictures without him.
OCC - as usual, you are a ray
OCC - as usual, you are a ray of sunshine and no help. Nice way to blame the OP
All the SK's are in their
All the SK's are in their late 20's and early thirties. I have went way beyond being nice to them. I use to cry and think and pray am I the problem but the light finally came on and I can see a whole new way now and Im gonna do thing's my way(the right way) and not let them drag me like a dog on a chain down a dusty road anymore.Now the tables have turned . When I want me and my family to do things as a family and the SK have a fit Im just going to let them have a fit and my DH needs to tell them the way it should be .Not what they want .If he cant tell them well I sure can . I am learning not to put up with any more crap and have a peacefull life.
I also agree that you should
I also agree that you should consider having pictures done of your family. It won't be the same if DH refuses to go but when your bio is older you will bs happy to have the picture. I was married with no steps and my then DH did not want to be in pics. No prob-we went without him and now I have the most precious pictures of my kinds when they were young.
Get some male friend to stand
Get some male friend to stand in with you and your family, and then later Photoshop your DH's head onto the guys body.
If the guy you choose has a paunch, and your hubby gets upset, tell him HE should have been willing to be there HIMSELF!
I realize this is a sticky
I realize this is a sticky situation and can only imagine how you feel Lady. I have an adult BS (and DIL) and adult SD's so I don't have a great frame of reference as far as stepping into your shoes with a younger DD.
It is certainly reasonable for you to want a portrait of the three of you. However, you are married to DH and have to find a middle ground with your spouse.
If I can imagine what my actions would be, I think I would set up something that makes it skids choice to be in or not to be in the photos. For example, I might have DH offer them to be included in "his" family photo, which would include DH, you, DD and skids. You could even give them an option of one pose with DH and skids, one with all, one with you and DD and one with you, DH and DD. They can choose yes or no. If they claim they want BM in the photo, DH should explain that she is not part of "his family", which should be evident to them by now. BM and skids can do that separately on their own time. Then DH should tell them the picture date is ____________ at ____________. Your choice - They can show up or not. When I say "they" show up or not, that means DH too. It seems obvious that skids probably will not show up, but no one omitted then. Either way, you are giving them the choice. Then if/when the picture(s) is/are posted on facebook, it was their choice not to be included.
Of course this advice is based upon the tidbit of description in your original post. I have to assume there are years and years of crippled feelings leading up to this that might make my suggestion unrealistic.
Does your DH mind pictures of the three of you taken by others on holidays? If the above stated suggestion isn't reasonable and you still want a photo of the three of you, could you have a relative (mom, dad, sis, other) take several pictures with a regular camera at your (or someone's) home? Would that be a comprimise?
Good luck. I hope you get your picture.