Well I am older but only one ss15 right now. I cannot fathom how you can do what you do. I would go stark raving mad. My ss15, with us 24/7, is a very ungrateful little brat who basically ignores me and avoids me now and eats like a horse and sits around doing xbox all summer. Of course my own two boys don't do much more but at least they're always interacting with me, say thanks for meals and don't eat much. I don't know, I think there is a reason why we can handle our birth kids and not steps. In the animal kingdom it's rare that the off spring get adopted by others, mostly they die or have to survive on their own. Females don't readily want to take other bitch's off spring into her nest/home. Especially if they're spoiled filthy entitled brats. I guess humans are different but is it easier? no.

The humans most of us know aren't living a day to day life like animals. If we were we wouldn't be fooling around with steps. Survival of us and ours would come first and the first thing the new male would do is kill off your kids.

I am a Grandmother to an almost 3 year old and dealing with 2 steps (under the age of 7)on a full time basis... I hope you will understand I am keeping my personal info to a minimum due to some stalking issues.

My own children are both Normal; well adjusted; contributing members of society!!

I understand 200% what you are saying and trust me my DH is THE ONLY reason I stick it out; I have overwhelming family members who make arrangements and plans without consulting me; totally and completely self-absorbed; entitled little crown prince & princess swanning around... AND of course an awesomely self absorbed; "me, me, its all about ME" BM to deal with...

You are welcome to mail me if you would like a little shoulder to cry one!

My own kids aren't grown per se (16 and almost 12) and SS is 16, but SD just turned 8 and she throws a monkey wrench in so much. First, she's a rotten, whiney kid...but even if she weren't, it's a pain in the ass that she can't/won't do what the other kids do as far as family outings/activities, playing with the other kids (although my younger son plays with her sometimes), and just being more self-sufficient.

So yeah, I've already been there, done that. I don't really like being tied down by her now. Maybe if she were a likeable kid, I 'd feel better about it. But even if she were a great kid, it's just plain inconvenient where I've already finished much of the inconvenient stages with my own kids.

I know there's the old "you knew he had her when you got together with him", but I really didn't anticipate that the 4.5 year difference was going to be so LARGE in our lives.

Oh, and by the way...I'm 45 years old. I've earned the right to be crotchety about it.