wayinovermyhead.....you are too funny!

Hi!

I can totally relate too. I am 40 years old, have two boys; ages... 15 months and 21 years of age. I also have my first grandchild, on the way too. I have SS8; who is very immature and becomi9ng quite the liar and manipulator as well. It is NOT easy to keep my mouth shut either. His mom is my polar opposite. His dad? He is IN FOR IT. He can learn himself. I'm trying to look after my own bios. I don't have time to teach an EIGHT year old how to eat by himself, bathe, tell time, etc. I did a FANTASTIC job with my eldest, and my toddler is actually more self-entertained than my SS8. But hey, I have to remind myself that this is not my bio, and not really his fault either. You can't change parenting, in parents, just take care of you and your own bios. I'm waaaay too busy lately.

Glad to see other "older" steptalkers on here finally. I've been looking and looking!

First post - I'm 53, 3 bios, 1 ss10
I can't tell you how comforting this site is! To know I'm not by myself LOL. Been remarried for little more than 2 years. My bios are grown but close by in town. SS10 in the last 6 months has really become a liar, manipulator, disrespectful and even pulls preschool level tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I found this site and read about DISENGAGING! It won't be easy with "daddy" and "his only son". Things really can't get much worse however. I left the house this morning eager to leave the disrespect of ss10 at home to come to the office to relax LOL! Of course, I got the "he's only a kid" speech and "had it rough as a small child with his BM". At least she isn't in the picture!

Omg. I'm not alone!! My kids are 18+ and I feel horrible that on "kid weekends" I could run away. They are whiny, demanding and rude. If my own children ever banged on my bedroom door asking when I am getting them breakfast I would have prob thrown the cereal n milk at them. But every other weekend by 6 am. There goes the banging!! That's just one of many cringes. News flash. This weekend, dad can get up and tend to them. I will have my coffee in my room when I want it and not jumping for anyone!!

i'm 40, just got married, hubby is 42. i can't stand his fucking kid (ss8). from day one i started dating him I didn't like the kid. kid was never taught any self care, etc. he's a hot fucking mess. i skeeve him actually. i do not TOUCH him, if i have to touch his skin, there's gonna be problems, YUCK! i tie his shoes because he's 9 and autistic and that was IGNORED HIS WHOLE LIFE before i came into it, so he's got the abilities of a 4 year old or lower. academically he's fine, and totally high functioning, but he cna't do shit for himself. dad and grandparents who he lived with before me just did everything for him. nobody taught the kid shit, nor expected anything from him. "oh poor skid doesn't have a mother (druggy, and gone), so we'll just baby his ass :((( i met hubby when kid was 5. we were at a restaurant and he fed the kid waffles with syrup on them and let the kid eat with his fucking hands! APPALLING!!! so i harbor a lot of resentment because i wanted dad, so i gotta clean up the mess the whole family left.......

when husband isn't home, i barely even let skid talk to me, i walk away and stay away from him as much as possible. keeps me sane. i'll be his advocate for his care so he learns how to be a functional human being, but i'll never LOVE him amnd probably won't ever even like him. whiny pain in the ass manipulative brat. he cries over everything, i go and lock myself in the bathroom or my bedroom till he shuts the hell up!

I see that I am far from alone spending all my time in my bedroom while skid horror is in the house! I can't stand the sight of him, and he plays these video games in his room with his headphones on, and yells in that hideous pubescent cracking freak voice. My hair stands on end. SO thinks it is just great that skid is enjoying himself, and won't tell him to shut the hell up. In my day, when the kids made too much noise, the parents told them to be quiet, and if they weren't, they were sent to their room. Now these Disney dads think any harsh tone is abuse. I would say that the bedroom is my santuary, but I can still hear his voice no matter how loud I turn up the TV. I would rather be anywhere than in the home when skid is there, and if I am home, I am in the bedroom. I wait until skid eats his dinner to come downstairs and eat mine because eating and looking at him at the same time makes me nauseated. I am about 40 too. I guess those of us who are older have a little more life experience and a little more confidence to go off on our own and maybe that's why we detach easier. I know I put up with a lot more crap when I was younger. Maybe I finally watched enough Oprah to say, "hey, not my issue," and think about my sanity. To wayovermyhead...if you are still reading, your post reminds me of my skid, but my skid is 13! He literally hangs on his father like a coat. He still tries to sit in his lap, I kid you not. He has done this since I met him at age nine. At nine, it was annoying and a little weird. Now it is way freaking beyond weird. He cannot be in the room with his father without touching him in some way. A year or so ago, we were standing in line at a fast food restaurant, and skid couldn't keep his body off SO's, hanging off of him like dad was a junglejim. How embarrassing. What if someone thought that was my child? Since that very moment in time, I vowed never to be in public with skid until he radically matured.....which has NOT happened. My life is much improved pretending he doesn't exist. When it is just SO and me, we are a happy couple out and about. When skid horror is around, I exercise my independence. My SO says I am hiding. I look him straight in the face and say that I am avoiding, not hiding. There is a difference.