PMS or is it??????
I feel like going into a raging fit and screaming at skids and DH- I feel like I say the same things over and over until I'm blue in the face and nothing changes.
Yesterday and today I have been seething about cleaning the house. We have a decent sized house, a dog and a cat. I like a clean house!!!!
SD20 who lives with us is really like 13, doesn't help. She is so freakin petty, I can't stand it. For example, SD20's 1 year old got into the mail on the table, threw it all over and made a mess of it......did it get cleaned up? not until I came home from work and was like wtf????? then she cleaned it. If there are blankets that need to be folded in the living room. She will literallly only fold the one she used, if that.
1 year old was in her chair eating pulled up to the table, peanut butter and jelly smeared all over the table, did she clean it???? no. I REFUSE to clean up after them but it irritates the hell out of me that I have to look at the mess and have a sticky table etc. I try and act like I don't care and I really try to not let it get to me. But it royally pisses me off that I work full time, cook, clean, do laundry for BD8 and FDH and this tramp sits on her ass, is ungrateful and unappreciative about everything and does not help.
FDH talked to her yesterday about helping more and cleaning etc. She acted like an idiot and wanted specific tasks. FDH gave her some but the house was still messy, guess she knows she can take her time bc FDH lets her get away with it.
How and the hell am I gonna make it until May with her living there???? He will not kick her out sooner, we have discussed me moving out and FDH also resents that idea. I'm just frustrated today.
Thanks for reading my bitch session
I have tried! I enjoy cooking
I have tried! I enjoy cooking for FDH and BD8. I get OCD when it comes to cleaning sometimes and trust me my house DOES NOT reflect this at all. Her idea of cleaning up after the baby is having the dog eat the crap off the floor and off her high chair. I'm not joking.
I told FDH yesterday, today is my Friday. I'm not cleaning shit on my days off. Nothing. The house is gonna get gross and I'm gonna be having a fit but I have to just let it go.
It's just frustrating because maintaining a home is more then just cleaning up after yourself. Theres general things like taking out the garbage, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, washing a load of towels, mopping, dusting etc.
If the garbage is full, she starts putting trash on the counter, she won't even bag it up! :jawdrop:
DRIVES ME NUTS!!!
If she wants specific task I
If she wants specific task I would give it to her just as if she was 2. Make a chart for her. Then make index cards with detail info for each chore she is supposed to do. Have her check it off every day what she does.
I would add even simple things like cleaning off the breakfast table, cleaning off the lunch table, loading and running the dishwasher, wiping down countertops, sweeping the kitchen floors.
That is funny! Maybe add some
That is funny! Maybe add some smiley stickers.....
This would serve her right, acting like she does not know what to do. My DH's daughter pulls that crap all of the time.
FDH said we are going to get
FDH said we are going to get a board with chores and certain days specific tasks need to be done. He's been saying that for months though. Hopefully he will bc he's tired of me being crabby about it.
I'm not trying to be resentful or immature but FDH and I both work fulltime, she contributes to nothing. I feel as though when she's home all day she should be pulling her weight and doing more since FDH and I both work fulltime and provide for her and her 2 kids........This is where she is 13 years old bc "thats not fair"
No you little bitch, whats not fair is that YOU decided to have 2 kids by the time you were 19 and no place to go and a herion addict boyfriend and we got stuck with your ungratful ass. Thats whats not fair!!!!!
OMG. Your SD is worse than my
OMG. Your SD is worse than my DH's daughter, who is BAD.
You should be coming home to a clean house and dinner.
I think you have every right to be resentful.
Don't wait for FDH to get the
Don't wait for FDH to get the board do it yourself!!! Then go over it with your FDH and then both of you go over it with SD.
Let her know FDH said you wanted a list of specific chores so here it is!
You are right, I'm going to
You are right, I'm going to get a board myself. I haven't in the past bc I wanted FDH to do since it's his kid but thats not happening
This is one of the reasons I
This is one of the reasons I will never allow my DH's kids in here. They are 19, 20, and 23, but they might as well be little kids. When I first met DH, his older son was living with him-he was 17. One night he made some kind of fish that he fried-he left gross dishes and pans, unwashed, along with the stove completely a mess. A short time later (long story), he moved out. He left his room a disgusting mess. I took one look at that, and said I could never live like that. I am NOT a neat freak, and to me, it was bad.
I agree with Foxie-ignore it and let it go (even if it grosses you out).
Specific tasks my ass. She needs a swift kick OUT of your home!
Honestly until you make it
Honestly until you make it difficult for her she will not leave....I would be on her constantly and if you can't handle that, a temporary place to live until May, may wake your husband up.
As for the one year old. Clearly he is the one that is in the middle of her laziness. Poor kid.
I feel bad for the baby, too.
I feel bad for the baby, too. I dread the day DH's ridiculously lazy kids have kids, because any babies they have will be running around in dirty diapers with running noses, if you get the picture. I can see it now, and it makes me sad.
And thats exactly how it is.
And thats exactly how it is. They are sick all the time. She doesn't make the3 year old wash his hands. She wasn't wiping his ass after he pooped bc "he's gonna have to learn :jawdrop:
I freaked out abt cleanliness, germs and his poor little sore stinky butt. FDH yelled at her and she acts like no big deal. She started too when we were there but I guarentee she doesn't when we aren't home
It is maddening watching a horseshit parent with her kids. I cannot even begin to explain how frustrating it is. You will see one day
That breaks my heart. No
That breaks my heart. No mothering skills at all.
This is exactly what my DH's kids are going to do when they have kids.
A few months ago, DH's older son got his minor gf pregnant. I believe it is a blessing she later miscarried, bc neither one were remotely ready for a baby. Son refuses to work, she is a junior in high school. They were going to name the baby after a video game character.
I know that with DH having 3 kids, there will be grandkids, and I have already made the decision to NOT be involved with them. The skids would not allow me anyway, but I won't ever meet them if I have the chance.
I do not know how you do this, you are a good person.
i'm right there with you.
i'm right there with you. sd20 is having a baby next month. she wanted me to be doing backflips and gushing over her because she's pregnant. i told her no. i'm not getting involved. i told her she needs to remember how she acted when i was pregnant and later lost my baby. like i'm going to celebrate her baby with her when she celebrated the loss of mine. :jawdrop: stupid bitch really does NOT get it. i told fdh i am not doing anything. no showers, no hospital visits, no babysitting. her shower was a couple weeks ago and i did not go. i never offered to throw her one or help with one. i will not be going to the hospital. i meant every word i said. she tried to guilt me and shame me into doing what she wants me to, but it didn't work. she has now resorted to stalking me every chance she gets. i don't know if she thinks that if i see her all big and pregnant i'll change my mind or feel bad, or what. all it does is irritate me and reinforce that i don't want anything to do with her or her kid. i'm sure she'll raise him to be an entitled asshole just like she is. i will avoid contact with that kid just like i avoid contact with her.
You would think.....She is a
You would think.....She is a leech. Theres no way she can like living there! But I told FDH she has it so easy here why would she move out????
2 of my DH's kids have made
2 of my DH's kids have made it abundantly clear they want to move in here. This will never ever happen. They are 20 and 23. One refuses to work, one works part time and is about to be fired. They actually said they should be allowed here, as it is their "right." :?
their "right"? so does that
their "right"? so does that mean that they think you and dh have the "right" to just go barging into your parents house and start taking over? wtf is wrong with these assholes not understanding that they are past the age of being anyone's responsibility but their own?
I don't think the answer is
I don't think the answer is to ignore it. DH needs to tell her what needs done and she should be doing it. I am not sure why he has his 20 yr old and 1 yr old grand baby living with you, but she needs to get out and get her own place!
nope. no way in hell. if fdh
nope. no way in hell. if fdh ever told sd that she and her kid could live here, it would be just the 3 of them, because me and mine would be GONE. one year of having her here full time was more than enough for me. i don't think that bitch would even ask though, because she knows how i feel about her.
I really, really feel for you
I really, really feel for you because I would be a raging lunatic if SD and her kids lived with us. Her and her husband are pigs, are immature, and are not mindful of their 2 kids. Luckily, they live with her FIL.
I feel like a really selfish person sometimes, knowing that I would never let them stay here (they can't seem to grasp the "paying the bills first" thing and can't keep a place or their own) but I know me and I know I would eventually go ballistic on their asses. I purposely did not have kids, so living with someone else's is just not an option. I would have dealt with SD living here when she was a minor (she was a pretty obedient child) but not now that she is grown with a family of her own. I don't even like it when they visit, her kids slobber all over everything!
I would do whatever you need to do to save your own sanity and your FDH needs to support that.
Ha, ha. Yeah, I guarantee
Ha, ha. Yeah, I guarantee you, SD would not enjoy living with me. I am not on ANY meds! }:)
Too bad for FDH if he resents
Too bad for FDH if he resents the idea of you moving out.
That's what I was going to say, too. If he would resent it so much, maybe he should do something about that daughter of his. Maybe he just needs that little push.