Re-visiting topic:SD now living at her BM's part time. I want to give my BS her bedroom; he lives there 100% of the time
Hi all,
I posted about this a month or so ago. I took your advice and discussed it with my DH a couple weeks ago instead of just doing it while he wasn't home.
My SD has gone from living with us 100% of the time, to making amends with her BM and living there part time. Our 14 yr old son (oldest of our 2 sons) has the smallest downstairs bedroom. I STRONGLY feel that because my SD doesn't live at our house full time anymore, that she doesn't need the biggest bedroom with the biggest closet, our son who does live with us and ONLY us, should be entitled to that bedroom. I discussed it with my husband and he totally freaked out. I told him that I would wait until after Christmas to discuss it again. Well now with Christmas just around the corner, how do I tell him that this is how it's going to be and his favortism is coming to an end without starting WW3 in my house???
HELP!!!!
I would let son have the
I would let son have the room. Is there a way you could approach sd and make her think it was her idea to give bs the room. If so then DH wouldn't be mad. SD can't have her cake and eat it too. DH needs to put his foot down.
I've always believed that kids shouldn't run back and forth from one parnets house to the other just cause they got mad. She sounds spoiled. Sorry I know thats another topic.
To me, it is only logical
To me, it is only logical that the full time residents have the largest room. That is how i would present it to your dh and how it should be presented to her. No emotion, no so sorry we are doing this-just this is the way it should be because that's what's fair. End of story.
She comes and goes as she
She comes and goes as she pleases. She'll stay at our house a night here, a night there, or 4 nights straight. My DH has full physical custody of her, but lets her come and go...with the car that WE bought her. I'd say in the past 2 months it's been 60% BM's house and 40% our house.
When I first started using
When I first started using this forum, she was staying the majority of the time at her BMs right after our huge blow out (October)for about a month. She did start to come back around more, which was why I had changed my original day of switching rooms from the weekend after Thanksgiving, to after Christmas, to see if things would go back to the way they were before the blow out and they haven't. Like I said, she spends some nights at our house, some at her BMs, but our son lives there everyday. She lived with us 100% of the time for the last 5 years. She has a full size bed and he has a twin bed, so it just made sense to give her the bigger room at that time.
I don't recall what everyone's responses were from the last time I posted this topic, but the one that I remember the most was that it was a bad idea to do it behind my husband's back because that's disrespectful, so I discussed it with him and he freaked out.
I guess I'm just looking for some advice - isn't that what this site is for?
"...how do I tell him that
"...how do I tell him that this is how it's going to be and his favortism is coming to an end without starting WW3 in my house"???
I don't think you can. Is your son really in need of more room? Note the word "need" not "Mommy wants". Guys are used (or need to get used) to women needing more of everything except food and booze. More room for all that girl stuff. I suspect your kid would rather live in the garage is he had a choice and everybody would leave him alone and keep peace in the family.
Listen we're not talking about the girl being sent to college to get a 6 year degree in Roman History while the boy, who wants to be an engineer, gets sent to welding school.
I'd let it die.
I agree with cheriwilson. If
I agree with cheriwilson. If this is your son's idea, then he needs to talk to his father. I don't think the girl who is using it as a half way house whenever she feels like it really needs to be consulted, but she does need to be told before it happens. She needs to be given a chance to move her own stuff. If you just move her stuff around, you really will cause world war 3 in your home.