8 adult (act so much younger) step and now I have a 14 mos old- I am going crazy
I am new to this and hope I am "doing" it correctly. I am so drained, stressed, afraid and just want to do what is right for my baby girl. I had NO idea the step chitlins would make my life miserable,more because their father,my husband chooses them before me. I am the bad guy and have even been told that he believes he made a mistake marrying me-because I am "mean, a retard, life sucker" all kinds of names when ever I mention anything about any of the skids esp. the #7- 21 yrs old. currently mooching in my (full) cellar, no work, doesn't pay anything BUT miraculously comes up with money when he wants to buy GNC products or to go out...I wrote more on my blog, I hope to receive any and all help-PLEASE and Thank you soooo much!
http://www.steptalk.org/node/110224
Well I can say something in
Well I can say something in regards to this, I was called those things by my exh for many years and I felt the only way I was retarded was b/c I stayed too long with him. If someone is calling you names like this you are truly retarded if you stay with that person.
Sorry, I am not trying to be mean to you but no one should ever call someone names like that and that person take it sitting down. I would take that celler full of things and pack em up and move on out with that sweet lil baby girl. If your DH cannot stand up for you no matter what to his kids and if he is the one calling you those things along with the skids, lady you need to show them the backside of your mean-ness and an empty celler.
Sheesh I get very angry when I hear about DH's and their kids calling smoms names and mooching and getting away with it.
I messaged you. Please read
I messaged you.
Please read it!!!! Please
Thank you so much. I will
Thank you so much. I will have to contact an attorney because I do not know what I can do legally. I can't believe this is happening and that I am taking it. God willing, I won't for much longer. Thank you
Please continue on this forum
Please continue on this forum and help advise women to not have children when they marry men who already have them from a previous marriage. It just adds to the body count of children from broken homes.
I sadly agree. I would have
I sadly agree. I would have never saw this coming- the funny part-if you want to call it funny, he used to tell me "he knows how NOT to have any more kids" miraculous huh?
I am still getting the silent
I am still getting the silent treatment from Sunday's mess- when I mentioned his kids too loud for the baby to take a nap- he called me a retard because that kind of thing is not important enough to just add more stess to him. It hurts. He did send me an email from behind his closed doors. It is a link on what I think -how- he wants me to be, but after reading some of it ( it is 165 pgs) I believe he wants me to become someone I am not. I wished he had thought about that before marrying me and having a baby with me. The site basically states how "the perfect" wife should be submissive to her husband. I think he wants me to be/act/support all of his adult kids where their mother doesn't. I didn't know this-believe me! I over hear his conversations to his kids and it breaks my heart-how he tells them to make sure they pay back the money he is always "lending" them or he will hear it from his "so called wife". I hear this and just break down crying. He told me, I am the reason our marriage has issues, he does not feel a counselor will help that I need one to see my faults-mainly how I should be supporting him with his adult kids, the money giving, them staying here-for free, etc. Am I in the Twilight Zone? I will attach the link he sent me-it is different to say the least. At this point, I don't even know if counseling or even a seperation would help. I hate the thought of divorce and all the mess that goes along with it, but his anger is just escalating when ever I mention anything about his adult kids esp the one living in my cellar.
http://www.heart4god.ws/index_htm_files/Sarahs%20Children.pdf
Sounds like your husband is
Sounds like your husband is emotionally abusive and is trying to find anything and everything he can to prove that he is right in treating you like crap.
You have to concentrate on
You have to concentrate on you, your family, and give your daughter the best that you can. If that means life without her half siblings then be it. We are a his, mine and ours. Mine are accepting, his are not so we associate with mine, plain and simple. Our daughter know her half sister but not really her half brothers and the way I see it, is the boys made that choice. Husband wants his sons to be included but they refuse and that is fine. They have been rude and very hateful and I do not need this misery in my life.
I am so grateful for your
I am so grateful for your kind words, I feel "dumbed down" and sincerely do not know how TO START and so worry for my baby daughter, You have no idea, back in my "smart/good" days I had a high clearance and lots of time to be the "perfect worker", but I knew there had to be something more, I thought just marriage but then came baby-,,,,and my world changed! She was my 40th birthday "present". I so hope she can learn from my mistakes. So how would I be telling her, I couldn't do it anymore, not to try, work, hope, ......I am so freaked out, scared and pretty much isolated now- if this were his plan, he is sooooo on course. People are worried about gun protection etc.- I sincerely and sadly wonder where I would be, if something were to happen. At this point in our situation, I am so "stuck"! If you knew me back in the day...omg! independance, money, my freedom, I thought fun....I would never change or exchange my baby for anything, I just don't like the situation and worry about her growing up without her dad.( when he is available- I have to estimate 8 hrs every day w the adult kids in Mass and their issues and of course needing money or other dilemas) don't get me wrong, I love that he is there for them, but now....I feel he is taking it way too far-and I can't say anything or it turns into an arguement
I have potential new job...worried but excited.
Nothing now, is easy or painless.....never saw this coming
I have been trying to find
I have been trying to find additonal help through reading some of these other forums- on how I can make 21 yr SS move out on his own- in the hopes that somehow, H and I can talk not just for us, but for the baby. I would think, his son's moving out would help him also- life isn't easy and the truth of the matter we won't be here forever to pay/house/ease his or any of the other skid's lives.I believe it is a "tough love" and do not look forward to it when my daughter gets older, but know, I must for all of us.
The BIOLOGICAL PARENTS must stand up for us, themselves and those kids (our step kids) how does this mess ever end? I don't know how it is to be done, believe me, I wish I did
I just came back from a reg
I just came back from a reg doc appt. I tried to tell my doctor why I have been so depressed, lost weight and not sleeping right-he basically told me there is nothing I can do because he will always see his adult kids as little ones-HE prescribed me zanix and said that I should take it only as needed-LOL- I can't be taking those 24hrs a day.