MIL Ignores Marriage
DH and I were just married 3 weeks ago. Step-MIL and half sisters attended from out of state. MIL also out of state didn't reply or attend. No biggie considering she's no one's favorite person and we much prefer step-MIL (DH's father is deceased). Nevertheless, I stumbled upon a Facebook post from MIL on our wedding day to BM (catching up on FB after honeymoon). The message touted her as the best mother and DIL ever and gushed about how she will love her forever. I've never met MIL as DH hates her, I've been pushing for him to have a relationship with her for the past 5 years. Now a personal dig at someone she's never met. BM and I aren't friends but we aren't enemies. All of DH's family is 9 hours away. DH, SD10, SS20, BM, and I all live close to each other. It's a relatively good situation so far as I get along well with the kids and BM. My question is how would you handle this? No one, including BM likes MIL, I just feel like it's a slap in the face when her own child wants nothing to do with her and only had something to do with her because of me. DH blocked her after writing her to tell her to f-off & never contact him again. I deleted her from my friends list. Should I just forget about it, or should I make a comment? DH said he'll support whatever I do... is it worth the energy on trash? I should have listened to DH on this one.
You REMOVE toxic people from
You REMOVE toxic people from your life - totally. She fits the bill.
You should know from reading here that just because someone drops a kid out their vayjay they don't automatically become a wonderful human being.
LOL!!! I love this dtzyblnd.
LOL!!! I love this dtzyblnd. DH and I live in the same mountain community (but the other side - an hour away) from BM, skids, and his crazy family. I ALMOST bought a house in the same small town before we were married. DH and I thank god everyday that didn't happen. Moats and alligators are expensive, but money well spent with those wackos!
well considering I've had to
well considering I've had to deal with my boyfriends mother for over 3 years and all of the women on his mom's side and his BM..all of them trash talking me and having nothing but racist and negative things to say about me. I find that when I ignore them or hell even pretend like it didnt even bother me. It makes it worse it pisses them off that they couldnt get a rise out of me. I would seriously not push a relationship always remember he knows better than you do about his family. And yes that was a dig at you, but there has to be something said about a GROWN A** women who does something like. Mentally she is still in high school, so your choice is either stoop to her level and go back to high school with the drama, or treat her like you would a child showing her that bad behavior will not get attention from you..LOL..it may sound creepy but it works. I mean they continue to say things about me daily but when I see them its always smiles and compliments and it always makes me laugh and be thankful that I am not a phony and fake as they are!!!....trust me leave it alone....doesnt really matter what she did or does its not worth your time enjoy your new life as a married women and dont drag BS and drama into it!!..good luck!!
My DH has 2 dads - his
My DH has 2 dads - his stepdad who raised him as his own and the bio... The bio didn't come to our wedding in August with excuse after excuse, but he came to my DH's sister's wedding (also bio's daughter) in winter through snow and ice.
I was annoyed for a long time. Biodad never even reaches out to my SS (bdays, xmas, etc). My DH's step-dad is dad and grandpa.
Follow your husband's lead. I did and my annoyance with my DH's bio dad went away.
Another example of why blood doesn't make you family.
If DH has cut her out, you
If DH has cut her out, you should too and let this go....As long as she is not a factor in his life, she doesn't have to be in yours. Now for me, my MIL still is sometimes, but she is toxic and can't come stay here. Long ugly, story. Let's just say screaming at me in a public restaurant and calling me a "money grubbing whore" for no reason. Over and over again. Then repeating the words, Black widow again and again. DH then BF, freaked out and walked away. Let's just say, I did n't forget and they moved back to NM when we got engaged and are not welcome here. We get crazy mail sometimes, but that is it. FIL is fine and welcome here, but he won't leave MIL.
It could be worse, but you do not have to do anymore with her if you don't want to. If DH doesn't all the better. DH hasn't spoke to her in over a year when she flipped out over SD and DH relationship...My In-laws from my late husband are awesome and I see them all the time.
I would totally understand
I would totally understand the distance/travel thing, and thought that was the reason. We didn't expect her to come, but I thought she should be included. Apparently she's an ugly woman. I'm going to just let it go as far as responding, but will make passive aggressive jabs at her. She lives with SIL who couldn't make it to the wedding due to $. I'm sending her some pictures from the wedding as we are friends and will be down for HalfSIL's wedding in May. MIL will get no more Christmas cards and pictures of her Grandkids. (BM doesn't do it, and won't do it for her). By attacking me, she lost all contact to her family. I feel sad for her, but birds of a feather must stick together. She's a member of the "bitter 1st wives-BM" club with 2 men leaving her stupid ass. She feels an allegience to the BM/1st wife that wants nothing to do with her. Love this ST community, you all have a great way of talking someone off the edge!
I appreciate all the time and energy to respond. The less energy I waste on her the better.
You need to de-friend her. I
You need to de-friend her. I still have some of DH's family on Facebook, but they are blocked. They did some unexcusable stuff last year with my SD, that I can't get past. So instead, I ignore their lives.
I know how hard it is to not
I know how hard it is to not comment on things that involve you (even if it's indirectly). My SIL is friends with BM on fb & I think the things they write to each other are so inappropriate and I always want to comment but I have to refrain. MIL must be pretty bad for your DH to not even want anything to do with his own mother. I think if you keep pushing for them to have a relationship and you win you will regret it. She obviously favors BM and that will only cause problems.