But..But...its for the Children! Don't you care about our Children?!
I swear if I hear this phrase come out of BM's mouth one more time, I am going to slap her. She uses it to justify every ridiculous request under the sun. I love how its only HER children's welfare that ever matters and they are teens or adults. My DD4 doesn't even exist. Here are some of my favorites that she used this on - what are yours?
1. BM wanted us to take all her marital tax debt on from when she was married to DH. Her share. The IRS had siezed her refund to pay her share and she filed a bogus innocent spouse claim, but wanted DH not to contest the claim "for the children".
2. Four years after they have been divorced, she has badmouthed him to everyone, including his family and high school friends, she still asks him come over and fix her broken shower, remodel SS13's bedroom, install new carpet (IN BM'S BEDROOM), and do tons of other repairs and upgrades "for the children".
3. After he asked her to limit her messages and discussions with him to matters that directly relate to the kids - she literally told him that EVERYTHING relates to the kids. I guess she thinks that her commentary on DH's brothers divorce, his relationship with me, and everything else remains open for her review into eternity because he made the mistake to stick his dick in crazy.
4. She should be allowed to say whatever she wants about me and DH to the kids directly and on public forums that they have access to - because she only states the facts (lol!), but if DH or I say ANYTHING about her in defense of ourselves in response to the skids questions, we are badmouthing her and don't we know we are just making it harder for the children.
5. Anything BM needs - errands run, me to host her horrible nephew in my house, twice the guideline amount in child support, car repairs, us to loan SD DH's work truck (which BM drove without permission), or anything else - is all for the children. And although I am financing all her requests and manage to work full time and raise a 4 year old, she should not be expected to work full time, because it isn't in the children's best interest.
Man I hate her ......
funny about your last line
funny about your last line about working, because i was going to say to tell her to get a damn job-FOR THE CHILDREN. this is bullshit and ridiculous. please tell me dh ignores it. she's trying to guilt trip him into financing her whole life and using the kids as an excuse. i would tell her that if she is so bad off that she needs that much from you for the children, then she can just sign them over. not that i would wish ft sparenting on anyone, but it might shut her mouth. probably not, though. she wants to be taken care of and has no pride.
omg - it was an ongoing
omg - it was an ongoing battle, because BM would make a request, then drag the kids into it, and we'd be getting all these angry calls from the skids. Alot of the time, DH would want to take the easy route and just go fix whatever it was - its gotten better (I guess) now that he blocked her from every communication device possible. Now she has to borrow the horrible nephews phone to contact DH, which reduces her call frequency.
that's awful! i hope your dh
that's awful! i hope your dh is standing up to this tyranny by not responding to her and saying no when he does. she'll start realizing eventually it's not worth her time to even ask when she is met with a big fat negative from him regularly and simmer down after awhile.
This is just all too familiar
This is just all too familiar ...
An email from BM:
"The last minute financial burden of these late flight reservations are causing the girls to suffer in the long run because I have to re-work my finances to cover this and somewhere they loose out in the end. I feel this is unreasonable and selfish on your behalf."
The "last minute financial burden" of these "late flight reservations" she's referring to? That would be her half of DH's airline ticket to come visit the girls (about $175) .. at the end of April. A trip she's known about since November 2012 ...
Thats what has happened - but
Thats what has happened - but DH is the ultimate guilty dad and she sics them on him anytime she is told no. Its been pretty frustrating and she doesn't see her part in her situation AT ALL. She acts like a complete martyr and thinks of herself of a completely wronged woman who is entitled to support for the rest of her life.
i've had to throw my weight
i've had to throw my weight around on the guilty dad thing, too. my dh is MUCH better at saying the hated "NO" word to skids, too (although he still gives in way too easily in my opinion - but i managed to slow the gusher that had been flowing down to a trickle). and, none too soon cause i'd have walked if he would have continued sacrificing our future to satisfy his spoiled kids. if your financial future is in peril (and giving into skids will have them coming back for more wayyyy into adulthood), make your stand lady. look long-term. what is all this guilty-daddying saying to these kids? seems to me when the money slowed down, so did my skid visits. oh, well, more money in our account. just hit by occasional catastrophies now. but, i've already warned dh that we will never begin bailing the skids out cause i will walk. it sucks i've had to throw that guantlet down, but i did what i HAD to do.