update on ins. for estranged SD17 (pregnant)

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A while ago, I had asked whether or not I should keep my SD17 on my medical ins. after she turns 18. Quick recap: She moved out over a yr ago. She's been absolutely horrible to me and DH. He is crushed by the way she treated him. We have no contact w/ her at all anymore. She turns 18 in May. Graduates in June. Will have the baby in July. The birth will be covered by ins. but the baby won't be. I was wondering if I should drop her or not. A lot of people said to keep her on, but there were more than a few who said they wouldn't cover her. Here's the update: She doesn't know we can see her FB page, but we can. She posted something about me, like I ruined her life and did my best to make her miserable (none of which is true)and that she would never apologize to me for the way she treated me. So, considering that she hates me, does this change anyone's opinion?

Second this!

I absolutely wouldn't do it.

I absolutely wouldn't do it. Risk for you, and there will be NO thanks from her. You can be sure of it.

On my original post, you're

On my original post, you're the one that said the hospital could come after me if SD doesn't pay the co-pays. I'm so glad you mentioned that! I called my ins. company to ask about this, and they pretty much said it's up to the hospital how they do the billing. Now I'm wondering if I should call the hospital to ask???? There is no way in hell that we're getting stuck w/ any bills relating to the pregnancy. I would be beyond pissed if I ever received a bill.

The hospital will have your

The hospital will have your insurance information, which is linked to your personal info. If there is a big bill, they will absolutely come after you if no one steps up to pay it. IMHO, the biggest risk is that there is a copay of a couple hundred bucks that she doesn't pay, but they don't spend alot of time trying to contact you about it and just put it straight onto your credit. If you have good credit a collections account is very bad. Happens all the time.

Frankly I am perplexed why

Frankly I am perplexed why you are even bothering calling anyone to clarify, let alone even asking the question if you should keep her on! You already know the answer lovely, the girl hates you, piss her off and fast.

I guess there's a SMALL part

I guess there's a SMALL part of me that feels bad/guilty. I don't think she deserves any help from us at all, but I am a decent human being (although SD believes otherwise) and I'd feel kind of guilty if she racked up thousands of dollars in med. bills. It's not so much the fact that SD would rack up bills, it's just the fact that ANY person would rack up bills because of me. Not sure if this is coming out right. I'm not saying that makes sense. I'm just explaining my reason for posting!

I'm trying to clarify my

I'm trying to clarify my above post. If someone said to me "Would you feel bad if someone had to pay lots of money because of something you did or didn't do?" I would say yes. Of course I would feel bad. I wouldn't want to cause anybody any hardship. That's how I'm looking at it. I'm not considering keeping SD on because I think she deserves to be covered by us. I'm just trying to think objectively. Does that make sense??????

The hospital will absolutely

The hospital will absolutely come after you if she has any medical bills she can't/chooses not to pay. The insurance is in your name; therefore, you are responsible for payment.

That being said, I say drop her! If she wants to be grown, let her be grown. Like another poster said, the baby is going to end up on Medicaid anyway so it's not like baby won't be taken care of. I'm sure SD will be eligible as well once she pops out the baby. You have nothing to worry about.

We went to a family bday

We went to a family bday party this past weekend,and SD17 and her boyfriend were there. She was introducing him to everyone, but she completely ignored DH and me. Didn't say one word to us. DH met him one time right after we found out SD was pregnant, but I've never met him. I haven't seen SD in ages. I don't know how long it's been, but it's been months and months. I've only seen her a few times in the last 14 mos. Same goes for the family - some of them haven't seen her at all in the last year. I was standing 2 feet away when she introduced the BF to my MIL and SIL. I thought SD would at least introduce me, but she just turned her back. I spent most of the party hiding in the kitchen because I was crying too much. When I think of how much she's hurt us, there's no way in hell I want to keep her on my ins. But then the other part of me thinks I should be the bigger person and just keep her on. It's a tough decision.

I don't really know much

I don't really know much about insurance, but I know DH has to cover SD until she graduates in June. The evil part of me wants to drop her right away. Good luck paying the hospital bills from giving birth w/ no insurance. She'll be a single, teenager mother. I'm sure the govt. will pay for it, which is B.S. You were adult enough to create this life, then you can be adult enough to work and support him.

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your comments. I know what I want to do. DH doesn't have a problem w/ me dropping her because of how she's treated us. I guess I just needed to hear it from someone outside the situation.

Nope. She's a dumb little

Nope. She's a dumb little girl who's life is about to change.
You are a mature, grown woman.
Keep her on the insurance...if I recall, it doesn't even cost you anything, right?
Do it as a favor to the taxpayers.

It could absolutely cost her

It could absolutely cost her something if SD doesn't pay her copays and bills. She doesn't owe SD, the tax payers, or anyone else. SD and BF can figure out their own bills if they are old enough for babies and want to be assholes.

^^^^^^^^^^^ exactly

sorry but I would not cover

sorry but I would not cover her. Have it set up to drop her the day after her 18th birthday. Like people have said, she won't go without. But why are you 'the evil stepmum' helping her out in anyway shape or form?! she believes you are this horrible persona nd thinks you do nothing for her, so you actually doing nothing for her won't come as a suprised. F her to the higest degree, she is not a child anymore and if she thinks shes old enough to play with the big girls then let her, but not on your time, effort or finances. IF you did end up with a bill coz of her miedical, do you think she will pay ypu back, no.She will make a big deal out of it that you are expecting her to pay for HER hospital bill and you're horrible for not paying it. Her and her BF can sort it.
Drop her and get her out of your life. Shes not your child, not your responsibility and not your problem!

she believes you are this

she believes you are this horrible persona nd thinks you do nothing for her, so you actually doing nothing for her won't come as a suprised

Good point!!! I like your way of thinking!

Send her a certified letter

Send her a certified letter with a copy of the custody paperwork stating that per the official court agreement she will be dropped from your coverage on xxx date. Then she can't say that she wasn't aware.

Good idea. Thanks!

Excellent links. Thank you!

There is no way that you

There is no way that you could be seen as cruel or irresponsible because -- guess what? She isn't your child and you have ZERO responsibilities for her! If you drop her insurance from YOUR plan, your DH doesn't have a say in that, and YOU are not court ordered to cover her. DH is not responsible/court ordered after she turns 18/graduates.

The second my OSD turns 18 and graduates, her ass will be off our insurance faster than they can process the paperwork. Welcome to the real world, crappy brat. Bet you wish you were a little more grateful now, don't you?!

Let me tell you about

Let me tell you about collections...My husband and I cover steps on two different dental insurances to keep our cost down. Because my birthday is before DH's birthday I am listed as the primary and DH as secondary. The last time BM took steps to the dentist she refused to pay the co-pays. During that same visit, she reviewed their dental records and changed all the contact info to her address and phone numbers; this also changed my contact info because we have a 'family' file. She never let DH know about the collection notices. I did not find out about the collections until I went to the dentist. After I paid the bill, I went home and cancelled them on my policy. I sent DH and BM an email telling them the policy was cancelled because she 1. didn't pay the copay when due 2. Changed the contact info at the dentist office and 3. never notified me or DH about the collection notices coming to her house. I also laid out their cost for future visits to include braces...the out-of-pocket for braces, after DH's insurace, will be $3500 per child (my insurance would of cover that entire amount). This was the first and last time I've had a bill sent to collections and all because BM was being a greedy evil bitch.

If I were you, I would notify her that she was being cancelled upon graduation and should seek government assistance to cover the birth of the baby. You do not owe her a thing.

We had to go to court to

We had to go to court to avoid being stuck with a bill for the skids just because the BM was being vindictive.

If you do not have to cover her, don't. Relationships are a two way street.

I'd definitely contact the

I'd definitely contact the hospital and dr's office(s) to see how they'd handle it. I know of a few cases where one parent covers the medical insurance and the other covers the copays, deductibles and anything else insurance doesn't pay. Could you be asked to be removed as a "responsible party"? Also, contacting a lawyer, would help!

Personally, if you can get off the financial hook, then I'd keep her on at least until after the baby is born. Money is going to be a serious issue for this new family for a long time. If she looses her medical coverage and has any sort of complications, that might make her unable to get treatment.

i don't think you can drop

i don't think you can drop someone from insurance except during open enrollment unless a marriage, death, divorce or birth have occurred. i think you may have to wait until the next enrollment period.

I know BM hates that I found

I know BM hates that I found out about the collections during enrollment seasons. }:) After talking to a customer service rep and since they were my steps and not bio, I think I could drop them outside open enrollment because they don't live with us and BM claimed both on her taxes...

I'm very familiar in this

I'm very familiar in this process. It's called a life event change - and its federal laws that govern it. The change in a family status - whether its adding or losing a dependent is a qualified reason for dropping/adding coverage outside of the open enrollment period. If she turns 18 and graduates, she is no longer a dependent and can be dropped.

I had no problem dropping

I had no problem dropping both my skids outside of open enrollment. My HR department said that you can drop someone, but you can't add them back again until open enrollment if you are not legally responsible for them.

So much good advice! I want

So much good advice! I want to respond to every post, but that would take too long! Per the divorce agreement, DH and BM are both supposed to provide coverage, but only DH does. BM never has and never will. Anything not covered by ins. is supposed to be split 50/50. BM rarely pays because DH takes SD13 to all her appts. BM won't step foot in the ortho's office because she owes them tons of money for SD17 (DH already paid his 50%). BM is very irresponsible, and SD17 is following in her footsteps. That's why I worry about being stuck w/ the bills and co-pays. If I have time today, I am going to call my ins. company and find out for sure if the cost will stay the same and also how I notify her (if I drop her). Open enrollment is a couple times a year, but if you have a major life change, then you have 30 days to update the policy. I'm also going to call the hospital and find out about their billing procedures. If they can come after me, then I will drop SD. This is why: Just like her mother, SD will have the bills sent to her house, but then she won't pay them. We'll have no idea until they send it to collections and start coming after us. I have great credit, and I'm not about to have it ruined by some pregnant teenager who treats us like dirt.

After I talk to the hospital and ins company, I will let you guys know what they say. I hate dealing w/ ins. crap!

Just remembered something. DH

Just remembered something. DH can login to my ins. website and look at SD17's account and see if there are any unpaid balances. I can't do it because I'm the step-parent, but it says right on there that DH can because SD is under 18.

Again, thank you guys for all the great advice. I appreciate SO much!!

Drop her and let her parents

Drop her and let her parents pay for her medical expenses.
Why is she on your medical insurance policy anyway?

My husband has always covered

My husband has always covered his daughters. After we got married, he added me to his policy, but then the costs when way up. We switched to my ins. because it was cheaper.

what does your husband think

what does your husband think you should do? just wondering if this would cause a big fight (not that i'd be afraid of that!). honestly, i think it's kind of vindictive to cut her off insurance now, when she needs it the most-and it's not costing you anything. if the hospital comes after you for unpaid bills and you get reported to the credit bureaus, you can file a dispute and they have 30 days to prove that this is indeed your bill (by providing you a copy of your signature giving consent for treatment) or they have to delete it from your account. believe me, i'd love nothing better than to boot oldest ss off insurance when he turns 18, but i'll take the high road since it's not costing us anything UNTIL the day that i have to jump through hoops to get his crap off our credit report. it's coming, just hasn't yet because bm's portion of the costs are paid by welfare, but it's coming. but, until that happens, he's covered (whether he likes me or not). taking the high road here, and there's nobody more concerned about the risks these step kids pose to my financial future than me!

DH doesn't have a problem w/

DH doesn't have a problem w/ me dropping her. She's been so horrible to us the last 14 mos. Basically, he says she can't have it both ways. She can't remove herself from our lives and then expect us to take care of her. (Our situation started out w/ her treating us horribly, then it turned into her completly ignoring us.)

It's good to hear from

It's good to hear from someone who handles medical billing. You said they would go after her if she's 18. Do you know if that's true 100% of the time, or do different doctors/hospitals have different policies?

I dumped my sd, when she got

I dumped my sd, when she got pregnant. You play grown up you do it all.

april

I looked around on the

I looked around on the internet for some info on whether or not we had to keep insuring SD after she turns 18 (because some people above said we might get in trouble if we drop her). All of my searching led me to the U.S. Dept. of Labor. I emailed them and asked if a parent was required to provide coverage under the new Affordable Care Act. A lady named Nicole left me a voicemail this morning saying that NO, parents do not have to provide coverage for their adult children. She said the only exception would be if there is a court order saying you have to. She left her number in case I had any more questions. I'm saving that message in case I need it for proof!

After I recieved that voice mail, I called the billing dept. for our hospital. She said as long as the patient is over 18, then the bill will be in his/her name ONLY. I asked her if that was their policy or if it was the policy everywhere. She said they do the billing for several hospitals nearby (in other counties), but she said it couldn't hurt to call a few other places to double check.

I'm not required to provide

I'm not required to provide anything, but DH is. DH and BM are BOTH supposed to provide med. insurance, but BM doesn't. DH could notify the court of this, but he doesn't because it's not worth the hassle. Their divorce agreement states that the children are to be covered til age 18 (or 19 1/2 if they don't graduate and are still going to school). After we got married, DH and I chose to go w/ my ins. because it was cheaper than DH's. I know I wouldn't get in trouble. I'm asking more for DH's benefit. I didn't think you could get in trouble for dropping someone after they turn 18, but someone on here mentioned it as a possibility. I just wanted to cover all my bases.

Still not sure what to do. Part of me feels like I should keep her on just to be a decent person. The other part of me says to hell w/ it. You can't treat people like dirt and then expect them to provide for you. I know the cost would be the same whether I cover 3 people or 4, but I'd still be providing her w/ a benefit.

let her know that being the

let her know that being the graceful woman you are, you are going to wait until after she delivers to have her cancelled. and tell her "you're welcome".

If I was an outsider reading

If I was an outsider reading this post, I'd probably tell the person to take the high road and keep SD on the insurance. But since it's me and I know the situation, it's hard for me to be the bigger person! I think w/ SD's attitude, she wouldn't even be grateful to me for keeping her my ins. She would just feel entitled to it.

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update on ins. for estranged SD17 (pregnant)