Do I not know what normal is anymore

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I have two older teens who both live at home. My ex has been dating a woman who lives a plane ride away and she sent the boys Xmas presents and now she sent them valentine chocolates, all coming to my house. They have met her a few times. My first inclination was that is very nice. She is reaching out as I had done with my dh's daughters. However, never in a milion years would I have sent packages to her (the ex)home. I would have sent them to my then bf's house. I think likely his ex would have had a nasty reaction. Territorial sort of thing? Now I have an ok relationship with my ex, so likely the gf knows that.
Anyway, I have become so jaded and cynical. I should say that I told dh (jokingly) that now I look bad because I stopped with chocolates a few years ago for the boys.
Any thoughts? I know, too much free time this afternoon.

Oh know, I really don't have

Oh know, I really don't have a problem with it. I just don't think that I ever would have done it myself. Too forward perhaps? Especially as I have never met the woman. And yes I sound critical when I truly don't mean to.

My thought is that I would be

My thought is that I would be eating the chocolates.

Oh know, I really don't have

I think there is a separate

I think there is a separate world out there for the divorced folks. Always strangers to navigate, very tricky waters. Wasn't life so boring and uncomplicated with first marriages? Although you could throw n some nasty in law problems, but the step world is quite a trip!!

Interesting... seems like we

Interesting... seems like we are all reading from the same script. Couple of years ago i would also send something to the skids ( the girls) for V-Day. Something like a card puzzle, where you sign your name and take the card apart... some little gift. So one went to the OSD's college, one to the BM's house for the YSD. ( The response was tepid in both cases). I was actually not concerned about how the BM was going to take it. My boys' SM has on occasion ordered gifts for them that would be delivered to my house - i am fine with it. So why don't you let it go and tell the kids that they are very lucky they have someone who sends them chocolates - and now hand them over

But you are certainly right that once you are on your 2nd, 3rd marriage you enter a very weird territory indeed. Very tricky waters... how true.

I feel Vday is for adults in

I feel Vday is for adults in romantic r'ships.

I agree with Pilgrim. I am a widow but I do know I'd hate to be one of the BMs we all bitch about and just get along and live my life.

I guess sueu2 I was just

I guess sueu2 I was just thinking back to my own per marital days with my dh's ex and daughters. I just never would have done that because I think she was hostile even then to me. I do think it is a nice gesture, and I have told the boys they need to be kind to her in return.
I guess I was just comparing my own situation, and am somewhat wistful that I could have done the same and the response that this is getting.
That is all my intention in posting was I guess.
The step world is a bit like the twilight zone, remember that show?

I know that my boys have a

I know that my boys have a ton of respect for their father and I have never heard them utter one negative about all my ex's gift, and there have been about 3 over the years. They just never would disrespect their father like that.

Oops, should have been

Oops, should have been girlfriends, I guess at first they were gifts!

Yeah she has met my brother

Yeah she has met my brother and sis in law, my ex and my brother stay in touch, so yes I think she knows I would not see it as anything other than a kind gesture. However, if I had done to my dh's ex, she would have charged me with harassment she is that horrible a person!

Which brings us to another

Which brings us to another topic. What do you and your honey do to celebrate V day. My first husband would give me roses, chocolates, dinner, and now second husband was planning on being gone for the day, see how romantic he is! But he is a great guy, (even though he s hooked to the whack a doo and daughters! I did get him to agree to at least be home, sheesh

My exhb's gf is almost too

My exhb's gf is almost too nice, too.Whenever she sees me she tells me what a great mother I am(how does she know??lol) and generally tries to be super nice.Coming here to vent as a SM and knowing how hard it can be being a SM myself I make the kids buy bd presents, christmas presents etc.But she sometimes plays "(step-)mother of the year" for my kids and has an opinion about everything in regards of them (she only dates my ex since 8 month or so).I don't say anything though because I know that she probably still finds her role in being my exhb partner and with the kids plus I feel she has lots of good intentions.But I sometimes feel as if she is a little bit of a threat, being a bit" Disney-stepmotherish", I guess, lol.I like her though:)

I am so not threatened by

I am so not threatened by this. I am curious however, and am just going to sit back and observe someone else in a position I was in once. But I do think there is a separate world for the divorced/widowed set versus the only been married once group.

I don't know what "normal" is

I don't know what "normal" is anymore. Not just in "stepfamily" matters, but in a lot of things.

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Do I not know what normal is anymore