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SD Birthday

StepDoormat's picture

Submitted by StepDoormat on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 8:46pm

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General Discussion

SD17 and SD (stb) 14 haven't talked to DH - realistically - in almost a year... except to get gifts. For example: SD14 refused to see us for Christmas - until she was told by SS10 that we had a gift for her. She then text DH that she would come over "for a little bit to get her gifts". No joke.

So... Christmas comes. She opens gifts. They call their mom. They throw away all the gifts on the way out the door that they don't want. Literally. Dropped them in the garage garbage can that had all the wrapping paper in it. Since then... not a word from SD14. Before that? She hadn't spoken to him since July.

SD16 only texts him when she wants to belittle DH for something. (His fault for letting her... but that's a whole other post).

Anyways... SD (stb) 14 has a birthday coming up. In ALL seriousness... what do we do? I know, I know... I am ALL for doing NOTHING. But, realistically, we know DH would never go for that. At least - not yet.

Do we just send a card? A card and a small gift? A text message that says "Happy Birthday?" Nothing?

I don't know what to do and it already has me stressed. Help!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 9:00pm

I would send a card and probably call or text. He should definitely acknowledge her Bday but I wouldn't worry about a gift.

If he insists on a gift, talk him into something small and meaningful. Teenagers hate that.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 10:36pm

I'd send a text message and see if she responded and wanted to come by. If she did I would have a present but it would be a token present - like a Yankee Candle or some nice lotion.

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 11:41pm

I wouldn't get her jack diddley shit. She threw her Christmas presents away in your home???? Hell no on anymore.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 6:57am

Personally I would send a card and no not a expensive or hilarious one and that's it. I'm not rewarding that behavoir but I also want to let her know I'm still here. Likely she'll be coming around in a few years when she grows out of this normal teenager funk.

jumanji's picture

Submitted by jumanji on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 7:14am

My daughter's gotten nothing from her Dad - not a call, text or a card since she was 14. I made sure that she sent him some acknowledgment for his bday. Now? She no longer cares.

Step-Volgirl's picture

Submitted by Step-Volgirl on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 7:37am

I love hereiam's idea on "If he insists on a gift, talk him into something small and meaningful. Teenagers hate that."

CheriWilson's idea of flowers is also a sweet idea. When I was younger, getting flowers sent to school was a big deal. Plus flowers don't last very long and would fall into the "meaningful" category!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 9:52am

Went through this with stepdevil14. DH stopped by her house on the night before her birthday and she barely acknowledged the card he gave her and asked "What are you doing here?"

Anyhow, from here on out, it's a mailed card. he's done being walked on by this little ungrateful brat

Smomof3's picture

Submitted by Smomof3 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 1:44pm

I would box up the christmas gifts she threw away and send those with a card. I'm mean like that. Flowers are a nice idea, but I wouldn't go to the expense. I'd buy her something meaningful, but inexpensive...like a book or better yet, a bible.

StepDoormat's picture

Submitted by StepDoormat on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 6:14pm

LOL... we sent the Christmas gifts back and let her know that we did. Wink
They were NICE gifts. We know she wanted them. She did it on purpose- in front of him - to hurt his feelings.

StepDoormat's picture

Submitted by StepDoormat on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 6:15pm

True...
We know she won't answer the phone if he calls. She hasn't since July. Sad