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Braces... a little notice would have been nice!

icehockey101's picture

DH sent BM the receipt for SS14's summer plane ticket. She said she would get us her half in the mail this week. Well, instead of sending that, she sent DH pics of SS14 in braces and mailed us the $5000 bill! Thanks! A little heads up of "Orthodontist says SS14 needs braces, and it is going to be expensive" might be nice. Ugh. We have no problem paying for it. But BM will be LIVID when she realizes that we will not send her one dime of the money... we will arrange payment with the dr directly. Oh, and BTW BM, you still owe us for the plane ticket.

Does anyone else who has joint custody but is NCP have a BM that does stuff like this? DH was pissed and I had to talk him down last night do to her being so inconsiderate.

oldone's picture

I have zero dental expertise (never wore braces even) but it seems like so very many people have to have braces a second time as a young adult. Are some kids getting them too early?

Have you heard of one child that the orthodontist said did NOT need braces. Even though I never had them I've had several dentists tell me that my bite is perfect. But when I was 12 I had a gap between my front teeth. I'm sure if we'd had any money a dentist would have slapped braces on me. Which might have ruined what is not my perfect bite.

mimi719's picture

Yeah the dumb bitch did that to us - Surprise, SS has braces and I want you to pay for them. He was 11 at the time. Seemed to young if you ask me, but I know nothing about braces.

silentnites's picture

I have so been in your shoes....sorry anyone has to go through it. All we ever asked for was a heads up, and a notification of when appt's were and the treatment plans....

Never got the respect. Got the bills in the mail. I mean seriously, it's not like all of us are congress and don't have to bother to budget.

sixteensmom's picture

We have paid for all medical, all insurance premiums, cosmetic jaw surgery, braces, etc, for 12 years. Bm was supposed to cover health and dental INS but never did so we've covered it all along. Could have taken her to court but let's play nice.... We have played nice to the poor house. Now that skids are all over 21 we've cut off the free rides, still paying alimony... Ugh.

We never got any notice before the big bills came either.

We still get the nasty texting for the dogs vet bills, since he's a blood relative you know (she really said the dog is dh blood...) she's an idiot.

StepDoormat's picture

Our CO says that any non-covered medical expenses MUST be discussed in advance and agreed upon by both parties unless a medical emergency exists. If BM fails to discuss with DH, she is 100% responsible for all costs.

I would be pissed.

icehockey101's picture

We've figured out a way to give it back to her... she knows that she pissed DH off because he texted her all about it Friday when he got the unannounced bill. Of course, she wants us to send her half of the payments monthly for the next 30 months. Instead we are going to call the dentist and pay our $2500 in one payment! I am sure that will just tan her hide that we can make that type of lump sum payment! (ok, it is part of a tax refund that was going to pay our new roof... but the roof has 0% if paid within 12 months and I'd rather make the payments to them for a few months just to piss her off by paying this off immediately!) Added bonus is that we dont have to listen to her b*tch about "where's my money" for the next 30 months. lol Blum 3

talia11's picture

Great idea - no way would I fork out one cent to her dircetly.

My SS15 'needs' braces for cosmetic reasons only - so our dentist said. I have no intention of paying one cent to that issue - he can pay for it when he is an adult if it bothers him.

icehockey101's picture

Found out the damn things are cosmetic. As much as we would like to say no way, we would do it for our kids. We also don't want to deal with that witch or court if we don't have too.... Court has always gone in bm favor. So we paid off our half today. Don't have to deal with her and dh can gloat when he sends the receipt to bm...

byebyebirdie's picture

smart paying your half right away that is excatly what me and my DH will do when or if the time comes. SD wants braces like now and i think the fact my child got his a few months ago and they are the same age makes her want them even more.
there is no way we will set that appt up because if we set up then the BM will NOT pay half (funny how that works) so this appt is all on her to manage especially since skid lives with her. we will pay 1/2 but she does the leg work or running to appt ect. BM seems to want all the benefits of being the custodial parent but not the responsibility.... cant get it both ways.
when skid got glasses last year she called my dh told him what his 1/2 was and he said we wont be paying casue we have insurance and she should of used the insurance and also we pay dr directly not her cause $ comes out of HSA ... so if she want to return the glasses then we will pay our part..... we will now get the contact lenes i figure that is far and have no problem with that.. but i love the way BM calls and wants half after the service is complete.

Just J's picture

When my SD got braces the BM's mom paid it all up front and agreed to take payments from BM and my DH. Of course BM wanted DH to just add the amount to her CS. DH said no thanks, I'll just send it directly to your mom. That pissed the bitch off because she probably wanted to pass off his payment as hers to her mom. She tried to make lame excuses like, "I think it would be less confusing for my mom if she just got one check every month." Um, yeah right, DH told her, "I'm sure your mom can figure it out, she used to work at a bank!" Then BM tried to say, "It seems like you don't trust me if you won't sent the money to me." Yeah, exactly! DH told her, "Yeah, I could say the same thing to you." She shut up.

DH paid BM's mom every month until it was paid off. According to her, BM has not made any payments. Yeah, good call on paying her directly! It's not a good idea at all to pay the money to the ex, you never know what she's going to do with the money. Good for you for paying your half up front, that ought to shut her up.