Feeling Horribly Guilty and Ecstatic at the Same Time
DH and I have a chance to move to a part of the country we've dreamed of living in and making great money in our respective areas of expertise. What are the odds of that coming together?? Ecstatic!! DH too!
Here's the guilt portion. Once upon a time BM lived across the country with the skids, now SS11 and SD12. The visitation was every summer, all summer long. DH flew them in and they flew home at the end of the summer. Last year BM ditched her husband and moved to within an hour of where we live because her family is there. So we've been seeing the skids more.
If we go ahead and move, the visitation would be back to what it was, but the skids are going to be upset because, of course, they love living so close to their dad.
I'm thinking I should tell DH he should stay close to the skids, BUT part of me is doing a jig at the prospect of only having to deal with these two devils on a regular basis.
And we're talking far, far, far away. :?
What say you?
I'd SO go!
I'd SO go!
At their ages, though, in a
At their ages, though, in a few years they will not really be keen on spending the entire summer away from their friends. If they work, it will be difficult for them to hold on the their jobs and spend the summer elsewhere. If they play a fall sport? They will have trouble making the team in HS if they are not available for pre-season. Dad should give serious thought to how much/little he will ACTUALLY see his kids if y'all move.
Jumanji makes some good
Jumanji makes some good points about Summer vacation. However, the same things could be said living an hour away. Friends are becoming more and more important and naturally, want to spend less time with their folks.
When you make a pro/con list, could moving back "home" be an option?
We actually plan on keeping
We actually plan on keeping the house we have here, so if everything goes to hell we can come back.
Also, BM has just picked them up and moved them before. I'd be beyond ticked off if we stuck around for the skids, and she picked up and moved them somewhere else anyway. And you can't reason with her or point to the CO because she's just batshit crazy and creates more problems, starts making cuckoo calls to the police department - it's a world of insanity when things don't go her way.
I vote go for it! Its your
I vote go for it! Its your future your talking about. Kids come and go but your future if your life and you should look out for it.
The skids seem old enough
The skids seem old enough have you spoken with them and seen how they feel?? I would encourage DH to speak with them and hash it out its really him and his kids who are affected. Maybe they would be excited to visit a diff country every summer you never know.
I think I'm going to let DH
I think I'm going to let DH take the lead because Identitycrisis is right. If I end up pushing strongly in one way or the other, and things DON'T go well with that choice, DH might resent me, and I'll feel like the Grinch who stole happiness!
He knows I'm gung ho about the move, so I guess I'll have to be patient. I sure as heck don't want him, in 5 years or whenever, to think of me as the one who pulled him away from his kids.
:cutting out and pasting pictures all over the house of our maybe-future home: }:)