Hi, this is going to sound petty, but I'm just a bit stuck. If I am being petty, please tell me.
My partner has an 18 year old daughter by his ex. The ex hates me but I have managed to get past that and form an ok relationship with his child. We don't see each other very often because she is a busy girl and now drives so does not rely on us for lifts so much any more, but when we do see each other, we get on fine and have a laugh. She sees her dad every Thursday (hence me writing this now while he is out!) and sometimes on a Friday they go out for lunch (I don't go because it's in the same village and if her mum sees us together she may react in a way which is upsetting for the daughter).
A few weeks ago she asked her dad if she could borrow my bike to train for a charity race. I was a bit reluctant because she seems to get through bikes quite quickly but then instead of getting them fixed she wants a different one. But I said yes because I didn't want to seem mean and it was for a good cause. The race came and went and she has never returned my bike. The Thursday after the race when Dave saw her, she said that it was a great bike and hers was 'shit' and she was keeping that one. He told her it was out of order to do that and how did she think I was going to like it being given a 'shit' bike in return for my good one, but she just doesn't answer and he came away without it. Since then she has treated him with disrespect a few times and upset him, but he is her dad, and forgives her. I do not love her in that way and just feel mad. We have discussed it but Dave just says she doesn't give a damn about anyone. I think what I wanted is for him to tell her she was out of order and just swap the bikes out of respect for me. He hasn't and I haven't brought it up again because I don't want have a row over a bike. But secretly I am harbouring resentment and I don't know how to resolve it. I know Dave feels bad about it and he really is lovely and generally treats me with the utmost respect but I feel he has been weak over this and should have stood up to her. He says he will get me another bike but I think that's unnecessary. Just ask her to GIVE MINE BACK. She has told him she thinks I'm 'cool'. Is this how you treat someone you think is cool? Am I an idiot? Why has this got me so riled? I keep burying it but it keeps coming back up every time I look at her bike sat in our garden! Any advice please? P.S I just added this bit: He just saw his daughter at her home and when he returned I couldn't resist asking how my bike is (in a very smiley way!)and he told me that it was just leaning up against the wall in the same position as the last time he went round so she clearly isn't using it any more. Why did I ask? This just made me mad again as I thought he should have brought it home with him! Aaaagh!