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what are they up to?

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 12:30pm

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Dh and I had a party to celebrate bd's 1st birthday. We asked bm if we could switch weekends so sks could come celebrate with us. We had a great time. Great party with both sets of grandparents.

Fast forward to next visitation drop off. Bm's hubby ask dh if they could talk. He wants to record the convo! He interrogates dh about when sks went to bed, who was watching them while everyone was drinking and smoking. What?!? So crazy. It was a family party for a one year old.

Next visitation I ask sks if they have any idea why bm and hubby are upset. They do not. They said they were questioned about said party and finally conceded that dad may have had 1 beer and dh's dad may have had one beer.( neither did)

Back in august dh received a koo koo crazy letter from bm's attorney. The letter said dh had taken sks for eye exams and he did not inform bm prior, he did not inform bm about giving 12 year old as a benadryl one weekend and that dh's father was not to speak about genetics in front of sks. The le5ter did not require any response so we just ignored it.

It seems like they have an agenda but I don't know what it is or how to find out.

Other than that it feels like dh and I are being harassed. Can they just continue this behavior indefinitely? Is there anything we can do? I feel so nervous every time sks visit even though we are doing nothing wrong.

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 12:48pm

Bm and family are Young Earth Creationist. According to bm and attorney speaking about genetics (which is a point of interest for my retired fil) goes against The Truth and The Word of God. Dh has joint legal custody but as bm loves to quote.....The WIFE has final say.

Koo koo for cocoa puffs!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 12:53pm

bm loves to quote.....The WIFE has final say

Which she is not. Not to your DH, anyway.

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 12:48pm

Bm and family are Young Earth Creationist. According to bm and attorney speaking about genetics (which is a point of interest for my retired fil) goes against The Truth and The Word of God. Dh has joint legal custody but as bm loves to quote.....The WIFE has final say.

Koo koo for cocoa puffs!

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 12:59pm

I wouldn't either. Bm is a coward who refuses to speak to dh or come to the door for pick ups or drop offs. Her hubby does all her dirty work. Dh does whatever she/they want.

At one point during recorded convo SF says to DH....you know if you go to sleep and the kids are awake with people drinking and smoking, they are still your responsibility!

What?!? If it were me I would have knocked him out, thrown the kids in the car and sped away. There would have been an Amber alert and warrant out for me.

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 1:22pm

Sorry...I have gotten myself worked up now.....Another thing stepdad said to dh "they are like my boys now and I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to protect them"

Thinking about this makes me so mad I could throw up. I just don't understand. Protect them from us? Why are they doing this?

A little background about BM and her dh. BM has 4 kids. Two are my dh's and 2 are her new dh's. She was pregnant with 3rd child when her divorce with dh was finalized.

Apparently when she told her new dh she was pregnant, he said the baby was not his and moved out of state, never to be heard from again.

Five years later he is in rehab for IV drug use, gets out and decides to call her up and find out if child is his. It was. They got married at the rehab place and 4 months later she was pregnant with 4th baby and they are all one big perfect Christian family.

Must. take. deep. breaths.

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 1:34pm

Can they do that? All of their "issues" are nonsense. Will they be allowed to drag us to court? I almost wouldn't mind because it might draw attention to things at their home that concern me

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 1:56pm

On what grounds? What do we do? Have you been through this? Bm has said in the past if she had her way sks would never see dh.

Another thing I just remembered sks told me they were told our party had nothing to do with our baby. It was a cover to have a drinking and smoking party!

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 1:50pm

Document everything. You are headed to court. Also, my suggestion is that all communication be done between the two bio's and in writing via email. No discussions on anything if it can't be documented.

Trust me on this, they are building a case....

ocs's picture

Submitted by ocs on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 1:57pm

"Young Earth Creationist" made me spit coffee. I'm normally very tolerant, except about that one. They have no right to impose that on you, particularly since you have joint custody.

They're absolutely laying ground work. Something very similar happened to us- it stemmed from a Halloween party we had about 3yrs ago. We hold the annual BooFest as an adults only party, but since it was DH's weekend with SDthen11, we decided to throw a kid friendly version. There were 11 kids in attendance, from 8mos to 11yrs old. We decorated the basement and threw on some spooky tunes and had Charlie Brown on the big screen for the kids. The adults hung upstairs and checked on their respective kids here and there. NO PROBLEMS AT ALL.

Two weeks later, he gets denied visitation since we had a 'boozefest and it was loud and my precious baby girl couldn't sleep...'ummmm, dumbass... she didn't sleep bc we allowed her a sleepover and were lax about bedtime.

It took awhile to get sorted out- def have an attorney and your DH talk about the nonsense BM is having her DH do

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Thu, 10/31/2013 - 3:20pm

I thought that it was hard to get a custody modification hearing. Can they get one just because?

I have a feeling she wants to move out if state so I suppose she is going to try and get out of meeting us half way wow.

steppinout's picture

Submitted by steppinout on Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:47pm

Keep a journal, document everything,only written communication. Can anyone tell me what to expect? Will we just get summons to appear in court? Will it be taken seriously?

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 11/01/2013 - 1:37pm

Yes it will be taken seriously. You need to stick with the CO, do not waiver from it. Document absolutely everything. Do not engage in any conversations, email only. BM did the same thing and got custody of my SD. Three years later she is coming back to us and she is damaged in ways I can not explain briefly.

You have to be smart and not just wait for the other shoe to drop. Document, document and do not engage and you may be okay. But, in my experience they are preparing to take you to court.