Snow Day .. and of course it's drama ..
We got a nice little mix of snow, freezing rain, sleet, and resulting ice here yesterday and last night. Pretty much every county closed schools.
Skids were with us last night as DH normally drives the 45 miles to take them to school Monday mornings.
BM texted at 4:55am saying schools were closed. She texted again saying her boyfriend was in the area and would pick them up at 7am. Then she started calling; first his cell, then the house. He turned his phone on at 7:30am when we got out of bed and say all the missed calls/texts.
To avoid engaging this, he sent an email saying roads were bad, schools were closed, and he would plan to drop the girls off at her home this afternoon once conditions improved.
Cell blew up .. house phone blew up. Then finally she replied saying "Trying to reach you to pick up the girls since around 7 am. No, you will not keep them. They will come home with me. This is not agreed to an it is not in the custody agreement."
I wonder if she realizes that her last sentence also applies to her demands to get them?
Custody agreement is silent on snow days, but I'd assume common sense would dictate that the kids would stay put until conditions improve enough for a switch.
They've since agreed (via email) to switch at 11am.
She sent a whole big long
She sent a whole big long email about how most businesses in the area are only opening 2 hours late so she doesn't agree to waiting until the afternoon .. etc etc etc. She also said that if he doesn't bring them at 11, she will come to the house and get them. So I guess, as a father, his assessment of hazardous road conditions doesn't matter?
God FORBID DH a few extra hours with the skids on a snow day .. thanks to DH's persistence, every word of it is documented in email.
Same thing happened to us
Same thing happened to us years ago. 2 inches of ice and the BM came to pick up SD then 7. Thank goodness they made it home ok, but later that night she slid off the road, but she did not have SD. For some reason she was close to our house and called DH to see if he could help her get out. What a NUT!
You would think common sense
You would think common sense and safety would over ride the court order.
I hope which ever one of them does the driving makes it there and back safely.
^^ This! It is ridiculous she
Technically their court order
Technically their court order doesn't address snow days or how to handle switches when the weather doesn't cooperate. The skids technically should have been at BM's house last night, but she leaves them with DH because she works late.
Even if it was clear that this is her "day", I agree that common sense and safety should override.
But that's rarely how her brain works ...
Luckily roads are mostly just wet at this point so driving isn't as much of a concern anymore
She showed up at drop off
She showed up at drop off with her boyfriend/husband in separate cars. I'm assuming she had some grand plan worked out in case he didn't show up .. one of them would stay there while the other came to our house ..
It's crazy how much thought/energy she puts into this crap.
She also took off SD7's
She also took off SD7's winter hat (Hello Kitty that DH bought her) and handed it to DH before driving off. Not sure what that's all about ..
Control? Or perhaps, her way
Control? Or perhaps, her way of saying that it wasn't good enough for her to wear because DH bought it?
She sounds more and more unstable. Mediation should be a real treat--and I wonder if she won't be keeping up her end of the bargain with the parenting classes; she obviously doesn't need them
Oh the parenting classes are
Oh the parenting classes are no bargain .. they're court ordered. I'd LOVE for her not to attend and show up in court telling a judge she didn't need them ...
Simple. She is just a bitch.
Simple. She is just a bitch.
Story of my life.. BM just
Story of my life.. BM just had to have the kids on her weekend and sent someone else to get them... We had to get them back bc school was not cancelled until very late last night, and she lives HOURS away. She again sent someone else, and they were an hour late to return the children... But she just had to have them for her visitation
Agree. Luckily DH is very
Agree. Luckily DH is very well versed in limiting his responses to her, so her crazy really shines in the emails.
We also just got an order
We also just got an order from the court for DH and BM to attend the 6 hour co-parenting class offered by the county .. and to schedule 2 mediation sessions for 2 hours each.
I wonder if BM got this already and that's why she's kirking out?
I'd really like to hear some
I'd really like to hear some BM file a contempt charge due to bad weather. Just how would that type up: "On x day DH refused to return the children to me per the CO agreement...though there was three inches of ice under eight inches of snow and winds were gusting at 40mph I have a CO stating DH's visitation ends at 6pm and he texted and announced he would not return them. Continuing on in the refusal discussion DH went on to state he would not be able to give me an exact time/day he would be returning the children to me. DH went as far to state that if I myself arrived to pick-up the children, as his CO'd visitation time was over, he would refuse to allow the children to enter my vehicle. I plead to the court to please find DH in contempt of court" :? :O
IMO (because we all know these crazies due exist)it would be in parents best interest to screen snap all weather advisories, road closing and numerous self shots of the roads and conditions around your home. Because , yep, some people are just that bent on sticking it to their ex they'd recklessly put their children in danger.
While all that excess
While all that excess documentation sounds so excessive to an outsider, I think it's a pretty great idea.
DH has started snap-shotting his texts from BM and phone logs to include in email responses to her. Perfect example was just this past Saturday night.
She called him at 7:00pm to talk to the girls .. on his cell phone. He replied with a text at 7:02pm saying he wasn't at home and to please call the house phone to talk to the girls and provided the number (she likes to claim she doesn't have the info). She called 3 more times back to back, starting at 7:04pm.
She never called the house .. I was at home with the phone in hand so that we didn't miss the call (sometimes we don't hear it if we're busy). She never called, but did send an email saying "Just confirming that I called your cell phone 4 times and you acknowledged my calls via text message but did not answer and allow me to speak to my children". :?
He replied, the next day, with a screen shot of the texts (all time/date stamped of course) stating that adequate information was provided for her to reach the girls and that answering his cell phone would have no favorable outcome being that the girls were not with him (as stated in the text). That stopped that ..
Luckily DH and I pretty much
Luckily DH and I pretty much agree on how to handle BM and these situations, so while they can be really stressful, we're always on the same side. It's a lot less stressful to see the communications after the fact and know that DH took care of it the same way I would have.
I can't imagine being in a situation where DH took a different stance and consistently gave in to BM. THAT would drive me insane ..
Yeah .. we're the same way.
Yeah .. we're the same way. We err on the side of staying inside and being safe. BM drives a Subaru, so no blizzard, ice, or other storm is too big for her. *eyeroll*
i agree hrnyc! there were
i agree hrnyc! there were many times in pretty bad blizzards, that i just put-putted along in my P.O.S while all the suv's skidded into the ditches. i used to be a hell of a driver in the snow
but where i am now, no way in hell am i going out. it's not me, it's the other idiots around that i'm wary about!
Friday was an ice day here,
Friday was an ice day here, when DH and I decided if we were going to get the skids it would be mid day, less traffic and less danger. He called BM and asked if the skids were up....."Of course" said in the standard I'm sick of these kids voice. DH told her to get them ready and we'd be over within an hour to pick them up. She got all giggly....oozing the glee in her voice.
DH wanted to drop them off at 4pm instead of the standard 5pm, due to it still being icy and he wanted to get home prior to it getting dark. DH texted BM to let her know....radio silence. We get to her house at 5pm, the house is dark, front door is locked. DH called BM. Radio silence. Finally 10 minutes later, BM's Fiancé/Boyfriend opens the door so the kids could go in. FFS, it was all fine and dandy on Friday for us to pick them up 6 hrs early but we couldn't drop them off 15 mins early?
BM never drives either way....continues to say she has no idea where we live....we've texted the address and GPS app with directions....Nope, no idea where we live. It's about control. DH has told that skids that if they want to come earlier or leave later that BM will have to drop off/pick up. NEVER happens.
I feel for you SMof2Girls, that BM is a special kind of crazy. }:)
We had a similar situation
We had a similar situation this morning. But reverse. She has the kids and refused to return them saying weather was the issue.
They cancelled school for the kids last night thinking an ice storm Would hit us. It didn't.
The mother is an hour away but it is all interstate driving.
My husband's attorney said to get on the state's department of transportation website and screen shot the conditions of the road
The site reported all roadways cleared between her home and ours. So the attorney said to email them to the mother along with weather report stating the storm missed us.
An hour later the kids were dropped off.
This would definitely work in reverse. Conditions are unsafe. DOT says Ross are not clear. Then noone should be taking the kids in the road.
I do remember one yr when sd
I do remember one yr when sd was about 12 we had gotten over 3foot of snow. SD had been here for a couple days. We had plans to let the dogs pull the kids thru the yard on a sled. SD called her mother all excited. Mother, of course demanded SD be returned. Even with a 4x4 there was no way to drive. Dh got on the phone and told her there was No Way! He refused to even try to drive.
So I get the kids all bundled up and get the dogs ready. SD was in the house when her mother called again and told SD the CO said she had to come home and if she wasn't home the police would arrest her. Scared, sd left never telling us she was going. I went back in the house to get sd and she is no where to be found. I alert DH and he leaves to go look for her. Goes to all the friends houses on the block, can't find her. He gets back, soaked and freezing. The 1st thing he tells me is "if she walked home I'm going to kill her!"
Calls mommy dearest, she claims she has no knowledge of where sd could be. She starts screaming about sd lying in a snow drift somewhere because we couldn't properly care for her. DH hangs up on her and grabs a shovel to begin to dig out the truck.
Finally the phone rings. It's SD letting us know she was home. (mommy dearest didn't know she was calling us) Ultimately it took SD almost 2 hrs to walk 6 blocks because her mother lied. She was so afraid SD would have fun here, she put her kid in danger.
Holy. Freaking. Cow.
:jawdrop: Holy. Freaking. Cow.