SD16's bf was laying on her with his head on her crotch...
And FDH was sitting on the other couch completly OK with it :jawdrop:
WHAT THE FUCK???
Brought BD9 home from from practice and SD16 is sitting cross-legged on the couch with her ugly boyfriend laid out on the couch with his head in her lap........That is a rule in our home and FDH is sitting on the other couch like nothing is going on. I'm irate.
And to top it off, We came home to a decorated Christmas tree.......BD9 was so upset, SD16 decorated the tree but left some ornaments for my bio to put up.......FDH just wanted to make sure princess was a part of the tree decorating I guess so fuck the NINE year old that lives here permanently????
I swear to God I'm this close to losing my shit. I can't even talk to FDH today. I'm so angry and so sick of living in this situation. I just want to run away
I thought about taking all
I thought about taking all the ornaments off
Great idea though Foxie, maybe I'll get her a mini one for her room!
Take it all down, lay it out
Take it all down, lay it out on the kitchen table and redecorrate the way you and your DD want it.
If the rule is no BFs laying on girls crotches in your home then did you jerk a knot in SD's and BF's tail when you got home? If would have.
Merry Christmas!
Thanks LAdyface At this rate
Thanks LAdyface
At this rate can we come live in your new house LOL I'm so f'n mad at FDH he just disgusts me right now
Why in the hell, did you not
Why in the hell, did you not say that was inappropriate when you saw it? As for the tree, I would take it apart and let my kid re-do it. Also, get him a small one for his room. Goodwill has tons of them.
Honestly, I would have ripped my husband a new one. First year we were married, he thought he was helping me by putting up the tree and finished it on me while I was out. I lost it on him and now he refers to it as the Xmas fight of 2007...Now he doesn't do anything but hook up the outside lights after I have put them out and take the boxes out.
Seriously, he needs to know this was something you do with your kid....She is a teenager, generally they don't want to help with this stuff anyway...My kids have bailed on it since around 12.
Yup I ripped him a new one-
Yup I ripped him a new one- He said he told her to stop decorating the tree....... F both of them. I'll get her her own little tree for her room and we will redo the main one. It's huge. The whole thing is just maddening. I have to fight for EVERYTHING, things that should be a no brainer I have to fight for. FDH is pulling the whole "Do you even want to be with me" pity party, right now? No, No I don't.
We have had this talk before with her, FDH knows how I feel and said he agree's....Apparently the rule only applies when evil step mom is home. I said Wow, so you decorated the tree, thats nice BD9 was gone while you did it WTF" SD16 and her BF got up and left. I went to bed and left FDH on the couch. I hate my life right now
He is being a sap, that girl
He is being a sap, that girl is going to be pregnant....As for him, he has no backbone and should have not done it at all until you were there. It was not for her to do by herself, she was trying to assert herself. I swear I really hate teenage girls more and more. Boys are so much easier.
I already can't stand her,
I already can't stand her, she's in competition with me for her dad. I let them have their time alone bc I can''t stand to be around them. She's getting more ballsy and I'm gonna freak out on her and FDH both. I hate her, and I hate FDH right now too
See, I think this is where I
See, I think this is where I would've lost my ever loving shit and just unloaded on everybody. It would've been like nuclear fallout. Nobody, including that scummy bf of sd's, would've been safe. I'd have told them to knock it off with the crotch cuddle and I also would have up and said, in front of dh, "sd you don't LIVE here so you have NO business decorating THIS tree on your own" and be damned with the consequences from dh. You are a far more patient and saintly person then I am.
I would have and have come
I would have and have come unglued for that same reason. Walked into the house with SD17 sitting on her BF's lap DH was outside and I would hope he would have not allowed that. It would not have cared if he was there when I walked in. I too had my DD13 with me. I guess I didn't come unglued I just said in a firm voice "Get off of him who do you think you are. That is not allowed in this house."
If you weren't so pissed at
If you weren't so pissed at FDH, I'd say you should suck face in front of her every chance you get, just to gross her out...but you can easily be equally embarrassing in front of her boyfriend, you know, talk about the joys of womanhood, like that last yeast infection, or your heavy flow. There's nothing more endearing to a teenage boy than hearing about his girlfriend's and SM's ailmants
Get creative there. Sorry your DD had to miss decorating the tree. I would do something special just the two of you like bake of ton of Christmas cookies, and then give them to the needy. That would rock! Good luck!!
I have no say beaccountable-
I have no say beaccountable- I for damn sure don't agree with it. *We live in FDH's house and SD16 won't come around when we set rules. So I was gone and come home 3 hours later and BF is there laying on Sd16... FDH knows my feeling and the rules WE both agreed on.......apparently it doesn't apply when I'm not home???
I agree it's not ok but I guess they showed me that there is no respect and my opinions really don't fucking matter
SD is 16 - how old do you
SD is 16 - how old do you think her b/f should be? 16 seems appropriate!
I would not have made a deal of it. Both of my kids did this kind of thing - at 19 & 22, no one is pregnant. The tree WOULDhve been an issue, though.
Her bf just turned 18- he's
Her bf just turned 18- he's the dorky type which makes no difference really but I don't want my daughter thinking she can do this bc she can't, not in my house and esp not right in front of me. It makes everyone feel uncomfortable and it shows they have no respect
When I was a teen, my
When I was a teen, my boyfriend and I wouldn't even sit so close together our legs would touch while in my house. I was way too terrified of my parents to pull that in front of them! AND I was sexually active- I can't imagine what its like when you guys arent around!
EXACTLY....... When we moved
EXACTLY....... When we moved he couches that were in the upstairs living room that was part of SD16's room there was a used condom under the couch. FDH refused to bring it up to SD16 and said it must have been from a party he had a long time ago and his friend brought a girl up there before it was SD's room :jawdrop: BULLSHIT!!!!! She's on birthcontrol, hopefully she uses it properly
I know, thats exactly how I
I know, thats exactly how I feel. He cannot balance the relationship with his daughter and me. I know I won't win.........
I guess I feel like I'm the fool for even blindly walking into this mess. I encourage him to have a relationship with his kid- they have a material relationship on her watch and at the cost of our relationship. He's so desperate for time with her he lets her do what she wants and get what she wants just so he can see her......
How do you know you wont win?
How do you know you wont win? You may live in his house, but you can make that house miserable to live in. You plan on marring this man and he will be a part of helping raise your daughter. Does he really think he is going to put up with this from your daughter.
Why is he still your
Why is he still your FDH?
He's showing you what marriage to him will be like. Why would you subject yourself(and your daughter) to such a miserable life?
No man is worth that.
^^ REalizing that. I guess I
He's doing some serious back peddling. He just doesn't get it. He said he didn't notice and he was watching tv and on his phone....exactly
I'm just done. I love him but I'm miserable
At least he knows it was
At least he knows it was wrong. That is one thing. Now next is if he will pay attention next time! But really at least he is backpedaling instead of saying he is right you are wrong.
I guess thats a way to look
I guess thats a way to look at it. I'm just cut and dry. We told her last winter that shit won't fly at our house so you can imagine why I'm steaming mad they are laying all over each other and FDH is sitting right there blind as a bat. :?
I can totally understand why
I can totally understand why you are mad. I have been in your shoes before. My DH has come leaps and bounds from the quiet guilty let your kid do anything father he was.
He said he's going to talk to
He said he's going to talk to both of them again........ok, thats great but they did it right in front of you and you didn't say shit. I was caught off guard, I should have went off and embarrassed their ass....coulda, shoulda, woulda
Oh heck no! If he can't
Oh heck no! If he can't correct it at that moment then what is the sense in it? Your SD will realize it is coming from you and she will be more than happy to find out that this little incident caused you and your DH to fight. Tell him too little too late. If you really feel it was wrong you will have a chance to correct it another time. Don't give SD a warning or a reason to not come over. She needs to be slapped with it when she tries it again! I told my DH no more "talks" with SD after our "talks". Man up and address it when it happens. If you "talk" to her after the fact SD will think I am holding your balls in my hand. And we really wouldn't want her to know I have your balls! LOL
I said this exact thing!!!!
I said this exact thing!!!! She's gonna know it's coming from me which is fine but he should be on board and should have corrected them!!! I'm taking everyone's advice. I'm not sure how I can disengage and do this at the same time but I'm going to let her ass know and if that means she won't be around too damn bad }:)
You can't disengage, not when
You can't disengage, not when your daughter is seeing all of this. Be engaged be so engaged that little brat wont want to come over!
I know, it's a vicious cycle.
I know, it's a vicious cycle. Either FDH is depressed bc SD16 bitch isn't around or I'm depressed bc she is......ugh
Yes same thing here. Where I
Yes same thing here. Where I screwed up was when DH was depressed I would tr to talk to him and make things better. Now I say ok well she can't make it today do you want to go with me and DD to the movies. LOL I'm like a Disney Momma! But seriously I don't let him sit around and dwell on it now. To my surprise he now has more of a problem with her coming over than me.
Mr Crotchface LOL
Mr Crotchface LOL
Them decorating the tree
Them decorating the tree without you sounds like a major form of passive agressiveness to me. I'm sure SD16 knew that it would irk you, and FDH was too oblivious to realize what his precious princess was up to.
Agreed, she did it to make
Agreed, she did it to make her presence known and to make a point that she can control shit and she doesn't live there. FDH says he was cooking and walks into the living room and told her to stop- by then three was pretty much full :?
His stupid ass excuses are making me even more mad
I think you should disengage
I think you should disengage from your SD. She is not your kid so if she gets pregnant then it’s all on the dad for not enforcing the rules. Focus on your little one. If DH wants to be an ass then start doing things without him, just you and your DD. If he wants to be in a mutually respectful relationship then he has to come to you now.