Son Stealing Panties
I'm sorry about the length, but this is a serious problem and I need all the help I can get, that's why it's so detailed. I don't even know what to think. Thanks....
I have 2 biological kids: Son, 24 and Daughter 22.
A few months ago, I found trash bags filled with bras, thongs, and panties in my son's apartment. There were even pantyliners and maxi pads (new) there (why!?).He told me he stole them from the apartment's laundry room. I bagged them up, took them home, and threw them out. Must have been way over 60 pairs.
Not much else was said. I asked my sister, and she told me about "Panty Raids" and that he probably masturbated in them. He also hasn't had a girlfriend since High School, and that only lasted 1-2 months.
However, since then he's been living at home and I have caught him more than a dozen times, red handed, rifling through my underwear draw. He denied it every time, even though HE KNOWS I SAW HIM. I’ve also been noticing some of my kotex pads missing, too (again, why?!)
He takes from his younger sister's, 22 years old, too. We've both been noticing missing panties for well over 6 or 7 years now but never thought too much about it until now. My daughter over the last 2 years now takes ALL of her underwear back to graduate school with her, and now I see why
.
I guess the most relieving bit is that it always seems to be clean panties he takes. Thank god for that, I guess.
I think he's been doing this since he was a young teen!
I don't care that he has a panty fetish. What I do care is that he stole hundreds of pairs from an apartment laundry facility, and is going through mine and his sisters' undies.
How would you have reacted initially? How would you react if you saw your teen or adult son going through YOUR underwear? What do I do now?! How can I get him to leave both mine and my daughter’s underwear alone!? Should I be concerned?
Time to call the police and
Time to call the police and let them deal with your DS-24's little fetish. And put keyed locks on your bedroom and DD-22's door so you can protect your privacy and under things from your son.
The kid needs some help IMHO and he needs to get it or go to jail. Heck, invoke jail first.
JMHO of course.
Good luck.
I'm sorry, but the fact that
I'm sorry, but the fact that he isn't interested in girls and he stole the panties, he's probably dressing up in them. A segment of the gay male population likes to engage in "drag", including lingerie and even feminine products. There are straight cross dressers as well,but the fact that he does'doesn't date girls point to homosexuality. My brother is gay so I somewhat know what I am talking about.
Good point ctnmom. I was
Good point ctnmom.
I was commenting on addressing the theft. If he was buying his own lady things there would be absolutely no issue at all.
I tend to do directly to the toxic or criminal behavior and not even consider what the cause may be.
Hey, I a man. We solve problems and move on right.
Two different viewpoints-
Two different viewpoints- both right!
Or he could be trans*
Or he could be trans*
I would feel uncomfortable,
I would feel uncomfortable, very, very uncomfortable. I would have kicked him out as soon as I saw his paws in my panties.
You're his Mother. That is completely unacceptable! The fact his is also stealing from his sisters' is down right nasty.
I don't think this is a Fetish, it's an addiction!
I would have a family meeting and bring it up and explain that is why he needs to move out!
He's still your son and I'm
He's still your son and I'm sure you want what's best for him. If you're able to bear the news that he's gay or that he has a fetish without freaking out why not sit down and have a talk with him. If he's gay and or has a fetish it's probably not something he can change after all and he most likely needs your support very badly. A compassionate talk will give you a chance to lay down some boundries as well. No stealing our undies, get your own!
If you're not able to handle his being gay/having a fetish perhaps it's better to skip the talk and just ask him to move out because he's really too old to be at home. At least this will leave him with some dignity and ease your mind.
This could be a valid point,
This could be a valid point, him struggling with his sexuality.
But do you think he would cover up his Panty Fetish if it's a (straight) sexual addiction, just chalk it up to him being gay to get mom off his back?
I once dated a guy who on
I once dated a guy who on occasion liked to wear ladies panties and bras. He was not gay. For him it was a thrill of doing something so blatantly taboo, and he kind of got off on the sexy textures of the materials. It was something he did alone, and not with me, but he told me about it so I would know and not freak out if I found out. Can't say I was into it, but it didn't freak me out, either.
The issue is not what your son does with the panties... I mean, who cares? The issue is the stealing. That needs addressing. And maybe if he knows you are OK with accepting (or at least not totally flipping out over)the fact that he has a kink for panties will diminish the need.
Regardless, the stealing needs to stop. Not cool.
I'm sure this may be hard for
I'm sure this may be hard for you to read because it is your son but I'm going to tell you about a family member that did this same exact thing- I KNOW everyone is different but this is a huge red flag and you need to be aware of what COULD be going on.
I have a cousin who has been in my family since he was a newborn, he was born to a drug addict 15 year old teen mom and was placed in foster care, my grandmother has done foster care for years that is how he came into our lives, my aunt and uncle adopted him. He about 22 now and has raped and impregnated a special needs family member :jawdrop: , and has inappropriately touched more then one little girl in the family. Since he can't "get" a girl on his own it seems as though he has to target vulnerable ones or little girls. It makes me sick and enrages me. Last I heard he was gay putting ad's up on craigslist. The police were called etc. he slipped through the cracks and there wasn't ever enough "proof"- the special needs family member he impregnated...she was over 18- she was a little bigger so they didn't realize she was pregnant until she was 7 months. They determined she knew what was going on and it was considered consensual.. it's an extremely f'd up situation but this is why I'm telling you- no one ever would have though he would have done any of this stuff. He was sneaky, used threats to keep them quiet and only did the stuff when he knew he couldn't get caught IT ALL STARTED WITH HIM STEALING HIS MOM AND SISTERS PANTIES WHEN HE WAS A TEEN.
He needs help, stop turning a blind eye. There may or may not be more going on but the more he does this and the more you all act like it's normal the worse his obsession is going to get. If he's stealing things from an apt laundry room- he needs an intervention. Maybe you should check his computer browsing history....
I think he is wearing
I think he is wearing them.
Whatever he is doing, it's not ok to steal from people..and to do so puts you and your daughter in a very awkward spot. I think you should tell him exactly how it makes you feel when he is doing this.