Christmas used to be my favorite time of time -- NOT ANYMORE :(

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Since my birthday is 12/12 and I grew up with a large family with many, many cousins and we all got together for Thanksgiving and Christmas the holidays were just so much fun and my favorite time of year. Now because of skids and all their crap I no longer even like the holidays. I have disengaged but it really isn't possible to be disengaged at the holidays. I try not to let their crap get to me but it is so hard when I remember how much I liked the holidays and people around you hare having so much quality family time. My problem is that my sibs live across the US from me and I live in the state where all of my husbands dysfunctional kids and sibs live. His family doesn't get together anymore because the first generation grandkids (my skids generation) don't like each other so they don't make the effort to spend time together. My oldest SD is such a psycho that she has alienated most of her cousin's spouses so they don't want to get together with us. So it pretty much sucks. This year my DH and I spent Christmas Day completed alone! The ss came over on Christmas Eve with their children and we exchanged presents but I am so used to being with lots of family on Christmas Eve and Day that it was hard to be alone. It was very disappointing indeed. Normally I invite everyone over and the most of them say the will come and don't so this year I didn't invite anyone. Soooo the lesson learned is next year we either fly to spend Christmas with my sibs or we plan some out of town trip or plan to be somewhere on Christmas Day with other people. God how I hate having skids in my life!! Good thing I'm leaving on a Caribbean cruise in 6 days for 10 days. I need it to rejuvenate, get back on the disengagement track and get my happy face back. Plus it is a great way to start off the new year!!

Take Skids out of the holiday

Take Skids out of the holiday equation. Celebrate with them earlier in the month (if at all), create new traditions with friends, and have fun. After a couple of years you will be looking forward to the holidays again.

I like your idea of spending

I like your idea of spending Christmas out of town. Like on a cruise or somewhere warm. I hear your pain, I used to love this season as well but it was made sour for different reasons than yours, sour all the same. Removing oneself from the scene sounds like a good move!

I understand where you're

I understand where you're coming from. I used to love Christmastime until I had skids. They're all out of OUR house (I can't say grown up because they're entitled buttheads) but skids and BM still manage to ruin the holiday because they're so mean and my DH gets depressed and cranky and my DS hates holidays now because of all the years of skid stress.
It's so sad to remember the good old days and know they'll never be back….

Maybe the trip you're taking will make it all better. I think maybe that's what DH and I need to do next year. We have already "fixed" Thankgsiving by celebrating only with DS and friends.

Completely alone is at least

Completely alone is at least peaceful and you don't have to put up with all he games, harsh word, stares and all the gossip later.

Next year maybe think ahead and plan something special for you and your husband to do like go on a vacation. Find a new way to enjoy Christmas.

I refuse to let skids ruin my

I refuse to let skids ruin my life.....I have 3 bios, and 3 adult skids...I have disengaged from all the toxic culture they create...As this is my first year of disengagement, i broke and sent them all a Christmas card...(with a pic of my H and I kissing holding up a sign that said Merry Christmas) My mom always used to focus on the people who did not show up to any party she would host....even if it was only one person...Finally I had to say "MOM...when you focus on the ones who chose not to come...you make the rest of us who are here feel like chopped liver...STOP IT!! Just don't invite them...Why surround yourself with people who you KNOW are not for you in life....if they do come to a party, you know they are just going to gossip about you the minute they leave....."If you are not for me...you are against me"... It is as simple as that...If my winning at life means you have to take the stance of being the loser...That is your choice....Personally, I LOVE it when I see my friend do well in life...and it is time to celebrate!!!! Surround yourself with the people that love you...I cannot believe how many relationships I have been able to rekindle since I have disengaged...they spent so much of my mental energy...Now....I am off and running chasing sunsets with my man....and no one can catch us because we both realize life is just too damn short......LOVE Christmas again....if they steal that from you ...they win....YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!! We all do......