The "no texts" from BM to SO rule
I have read a few of you ladies on here saying your DH's blocked texting from their BM's and just use emails and phone calls if necessary. BM has a really bad habit of freaking out and sending lonnnnng 12 page texts to SO and we are getting sick of it. He ignores them unless they are directly related to SD but most of the time it's just her venting her frustration. SO and I just moved in together we've been together almost 2 years and she has lost her mind over this. I think it was the final nail in her coffin that they are never getting back together (they weren't married). She's had over 2 years to get her things out of his previous residence that she never got out. He tried, he sent her certified letters telling her to get it out, and spoke to a police officer that told him after a year possessions that are unclaimed are considered abandoned and therefore become his possessions. Well today she was texting his cousin who he is renting his house to to ask about getting her things back. First of all cousin doesn't even have the things there, anything that was not crucial has been disposed of and he informed he that, that was going to happen several times.
She's just trying to get back into his life as much as possible and insert herself into his business and has been doing this since she was informed of his move.
I just wanted to see how the no texting block thing worked for you and your DH's? SO seemed reluctant when I told him about this idea and that she could say in court that he's unreachable if she would need him but honestly if there was ever a true emergency with SD BM would call not text anyway. Although BM has an "emergency" every week or so, such as SD hasn't pooped in 12 hours, she has a diaper rash, she fell down and cut her lip, etc. I like the idea of phone calls and emails only because she won't call him to bitch at him 1. because she knows I am there and 2. she doesn't have the balls. And by the time she'd log into her email to send an email maybe she'd calm down. Plus she's about as dumb as they come and from what I've been told she doesn't even have an email address.
Wow this turned into a long rant! Sorry ladies!!
BM tried telling DH she
BM tried telling DH she needed my cell number in case of emergencies; and that she's tried to call my cell before and the calls don't go through.
She apparently doesn't realize that I've blocked her from my phone completely; she has no reason to contact me directly.
DH was tempted to ask her what emergency took place that she wasn't able to reach him, and therefore tried to contact me? Of course her answer would be none, which goes back to her not needing my cell #.
DH doesn't respond to BM's texts. If it needs a response, he writes it in an email. With smartphones, emailing is just as easy as texting, but creates a better trail. He also doesn't speak to her on the phone. She gets defensive/aggressive so quickly that those convos go downhill quickly. Doesn't stop her from calling though lol.
Do as much as possible in
Do as much as possible in writing and save everything you can. Even if she and your fiance were never married she can still try stuff on him in regards to custody and care of their child. Make sure you keep all written proof that she's nuts.
Oh we do!! We have 210 word
Oh we do!! We have 210 word document PAGES of her texts from 2013 all documented and uploaded onto my computer. 210 PAGES!!!!!! She's crazy.
How often do your DH's speak
How often do your DH's speak to BM's? She still texts him everyday multiple times a day and calls probably every other day. They have 50/50 custody with no set times so they ahve to talk to decide what time they will be meeting but other than that and emergencies I see no reason for them to be in contact. SD is 2 so it's not like they have schooling, sports, or anything else to discuss.
I can honestly go 2 weeks in
I can honestly go 2 weeks in between talking to my ex and BM. Everything we have with them is very clear cut and leaves very little room for wiggling. 50/50 is more complicated but a simple fix would be to have a set pick up/drop off location and specific time.
Thanks!! He wasn't very
Thanks!!
He wasn't very good at it in the beginning but now he literally ignores every text that isn't relevant. He ignores her rants and craziness but I think it would be better to just not even have to see or read it at all. You made me laugh the thought of him wanting a relationship with her again is laughable. I know I shouldn't say this cause we all have our exes but I have NO idea what he saw in her. She'll probably end up an old maid. Although some days I see nothing wrong with that idea myself!! Lol.
My SO has 3 kids: 19 and 15
My SO has 3 kids: 19 and 15 (girls) and 12 (boy). I would say they text more than anything and it's maybe a few times a week but very short. They do occasionally talk on the phone. It's always about the kids. She fishes for stuff but SO just sticks to kids. There are times I get annoyed because planning or communication sucks and I will even tell SO to text the bitch for an answer to something about visitation or something that impacts me directly.
Sounds like your fiance needs to tell her flat out to only contact him about the little one and that's it. (He probably has and she's too pathetic.)
My So has just started the
My So has just started the "no texting" rule. When he told BM in a phone conversation that he blocked her from texting, she said "fuck you" and hung up. BM is a text whore and loves to angry text, so when you only talk over the phone and face to face, it cuts out A LOT of the unecessary arguments and conversations. I hated it when she would text him "SD pooped!" or silly things like that just to start a conversation. He used to have really bad Guilty Dad Syndrome and would respond to every text she sent. He has gotten better, but not completely. So I told him to stop entertaining her by answering her texts or I'm out. SD isn't reading them and following thier conversation saying to herself, "My dad doesn't care about me cause he's not responding to mommy's texts." (shes' 3, but still) I'd say do e-mails and calls ONLY!! It helps a lot!!
My DH and the psycho bitch
My DH and the psycho bitch still uses text. She doesn’t blow up his phone too much but her text are obnoxiously long and she sends him texts about stupid shit but other than that she hardly ever talks to him. I can't wait until the skids turn 18 and we can block her number and email FOREVER!
Yes we have a landline. I
Yes we have a landline. I never use it though but it is another option for her. We discussed it last night and he had a conversation with her about boundaries again last night which turned into a fight. He told me that if she doesn't stop it then he is goign to block texting so I am encouraged.
Luckily SD is still young enough to not yet be in elementary school but I can't wait for all of that drama!
BM isn't allowed to text my
BM isn't allowed to text my DH, only call & email. She also cannot call or text my phone. She was getting too crazy with the texts, sending several a day & when she would be mad about whatever she would send long 12 page text messages in all caps. She simply has no self control. When she has to talk on the phone, she can't think fast enough to come up with insults etc & when she has to go all the way to a computer to email she thinks better of it I guess & doesn't. Probably because she knows he won't read it for like 2 or 3 days lol.
she could say in court that
she could say in court that he's unreachable if she would need him
As long as you have a landline, this is absolute bull. What does she think people did before cell phones were the norm?
BM over here has NEVER had either of our cell phone numbers or email addresses. Leave a message after the beep, bitch.
This was a discussion last
This was a discussion last night!
DH cut her off from texts about 3yrs ago. She can only phone or email.
Now, she emails constantly about insanity- so as of now there is a separate email address that she uses, and has been informed it will be checked ONCE a week. I'm so freakin' done with her BS and will not take it anymore.
DH would get an email and respond to her asap, even while we were on vacation- she knew she was pissing me off and I let her. NO MORE.
If there is an emergency, she would call anyway, but she never does...
She has never had my cell or email.
Oh the memories... I have
Oh the memories...
I have been with DH 25 yrs. They are divorced 26 yrs. This past 4th of July I got a FB message from her "I am tired of this bullshit. I have been nice for years but I am done. Tell him I want all my stuff from the storage locker back!!!!!"
She has been nice for yrs because we changed our numbers after daughter turned 18. (daughter is 30)
As far as cutting out texting and requiring actual phone calls. Well the problem with calls is there is no documentation of what was said. At least texts can be saved and printed if needed fo court. It is easy to just ignore the ramblings of crazy. Yes it can be upsetting to see the constant nastiness, but in the long run, better for court.
We just let them leave voice
We just let them leave voice mails. Those are audible for court and/or can be transcribed, both of which we used in court.... Emails and voicemails are both good options. That way you don't have to answer the phone and get pounded with a bunch of crap, you can listen to the voicemail and determine if there is really a need to call back.