Change your email and change your phone number. Don't allow her to have it.

Your partner needs to run major interference to stop her from harassing the both of you. This is all on him. HE is the one who has to step up to the plate to establish and enforce boundaries and to make sure she leaves the two of you alone.

She probably sees you as taking him away from her because he catered to her before you came along, even after they had split. She still had hope that he would come back, and instead of telling her how it was, he did whatever he felt he had to in order to see his child. This is for HIM to fix. If he doesn't have a court order, he needs to get one. He can file contempt charges every time she denies visitation. And that doesn't require an attorney. Not sure why this woman has your info, but change it or block her. I don't understand people who try to conceive when this kind of crap is going on and they aren't even married. Or do you call your husband your partner? If he can't put an end to this, is this the kind of life you want to bring a child into? With a father who can't stand up for himself OR you?

Why does she even have your number and email? I would put a stop to that crap immediately!

Your boyfriend needs to put her in her place and not let her bully either one of you. And certainly not let her use the child as a manipulation tactic. Do they have a court order that specifies visitation? If it means taking her to court to show her he means business, then that is what he needs to do.

I also wouldn't be bringing another child into the mix just yet.

I'm sorry but It's gonna be a rough life it really doesn't get better. If he's not gonna stand up to her now it might just get worse.

DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. At least until your problems with this relationship have been resolved which may never happen. Having a baby WILL NOT help but only make the situation far more difficult to deal with. Ditto with marriage which I assume has not happened yet as you use the term "partner".

You can block her phone number. Call your cell phone provider for help if you need it. Instructions will also be in the user manual that came with the phone.

Block her email address. Look under options somewhere on your email page.

Block your social account sites such as Facebook. Instructions are somewhere on the Home Page. Absolutely do not visit her pages. It's irrelevent what she says about you - your friends won't believe it and frankly her friends probably don't either but what do you care what they think?

You should be having ZERO communication with or from this woman. Everything, every last word of communication, is between her and your partner.

All of this is assuming you want to throw away your life living this crap. With millions of guys out there without children and ready to start their own family why are you tossing in with this guy? I guarantee you that there are thousands of guys just as attractive to you waiting to find you. Please don't waste your life like this.

I agree with everyone here DO NOT have children. Whether you came around an hour or 3 years after they split as long as he has catered to her you WILL be the bad guy.

I am currently dealing with a woman who even though he never catered to her after the divorce tried to bust us up in the beginning. She did everything from sending her oldest son, to slandering both of us in public...anytime I was around she would bring up it sickened her that another woman was with HER ex HUSBAND. She would say it about like that too mind you the divorce was way past final. Luckily he did stand by me and always have but even over a year later I am having to deal with her making comments to my SO’s family – mainly his dad and stepmom as they still text her on a regular basis.

The BM in my situation recently said that she wants the same respect she gives me - mind you she is doing better but yanked SS4 out of from under me when I was giving him a pep talk at soccer.
Mind you this was after she saw my ring (I don't always wear it due to animals and constantly dealing with cleaning and kids) and decided though we switched visitation days she wanted to go strictly by the papers.

IF HE DOESN'T STAND UP TO BM.....RUN! Like I said I have a SO who does stand up to BM and defends my honor and it can still be a struggle.

Hi there,

Coming from the same situation you can try a few things,

First and foremost, Remember this man is with you and not her , you must not take her personal, he will see your reactions and will start to feel caught in the middle, eventually wanting out.

My situation was just the same as yours not once but twice ,the ex is not happy in her personal life, probably misses his friendship and doesn't want him happy or moving on, so therefore will attack you and eventually use the child against you. These women are very lost souls who will stop at nothing!

I took the ex to personal and let it eat me alive! In the end I lost my love..

If you love this man and want a family you and him will need to take action:

Either start counseling for you and him to better deal with her actions.
Do not react or get mad if she sends you any emails, do not respond to her.
Be confident, if you see her in person, do not give dirty looks, keep your head up and smile.
When you are spending time with your man, do not bring her up, dont let her invade your happy time.
You will never have a good relationship with her as she doesnt want one.
Do not blame yourself or try to understand why she doesnt like you, she will never like anyone that enters his life.
You need to ask yourself if he is really over her? when she asks him why they ended, does he respond, is he feeling guilty for moving on?
Have you directly asked him if he has guilt?
If he does , you will need to seek counseling to address it !

Does your boyfriend have a current custody order in place?

If not , he needs to get this started ASAP!
If he cannot afford an attorney, he can get a paralegal to write up a custody request.
Tell him NOT to erase her emails or text messages!
He must limit communication to email or text!
Save them all and format them in a binder month by month to give to the court or if you should have an evaluation.
Get a journal and write down any comments she may say to you or him.
If she is harrasing you and using the child as a pawn , the court will frown upon it!

Each time I did this the court used it and yes ...the men got the custody they wanted.

Let me know if you need any more help!

Your man needs to stand up to her instead of making you deal with her and he needs to know his rights. She can't keep the kid from him because she's mad. He can drag her ass to court for that and in some cases she can even lose custody over denying him visitation. It's sad how many fathers don't know this...the BM of my skids just tried to pull this crap too because she was pissed at FDH and she doesn't like me/is jealous of me. I came onto the scene 6 years after they split--you would think the bitch would be over it by now but I think it's just a control thing. She's still used to having his attention-any attention-and using the kids to get it! I would have him stand up to her and get his visitation rights court ordered before you start trying to have a baby. Believe me her drama will increase tenfold once you're pregnant. I'm going through that right now! Luckily I never deal with BM directly anymore. She's not allowed to talk to me or come into my house even to pick up the kids (FDH takes them outside) and thanks to my voice of reason FDH has learned his rights and how to stand up to her. If you love him you can get through this but he has to grow some balls and you should STOP conversing with her PERIOD. This is his fight, not yours.

Her number is now blocked on your phone. Her email is marked as spam to be immediately sent to the trash and never seen. If she is on your Facebook she is now blocked and deleted. If she shows up at your house she is informed that she has thirty seconds to leave before you ca the sheriff. All threats are ignored entirely. All questions that do not pertain to kiddo are ignored entirely. She is now informed that she will hand over kiddo when it is time with no drama and if she does not the police will be called to enforce the custody order. If she refuses to hand over kiddo you follow through and have the police get kiddo. We had to deal with the crazy too. If you stick to the master plan, the crazy stops almost completely.

Same situation (I think) here. I've posted a whole message on this board about it.

I had for some time suspected that all the texting and emailed to my partner was an effort to p*ss me off. All of it is totally unnecessary contact. All of it. My partner is just starting to see it now (after 6 years )

Agree with lovelylife. Stay dignified and never play games. I think these women thrive on contact and conflict - I'm not sure they mind whether the contact is positive or negative - at least they are getting their oar in.

Keep calm and carry on!

Talk to your husband about her, Don't get afraid of her. Otherwise she will get successful in her motive of ruin your relationship.
http://www.professionalcounselingpiedmontva.com

You have no idea! I've been through hell the past year and almost left my husband. Bm list custody to my husband when the baby was 4 months old, goes to show how bad of a mother she is. She has went from " oh I love kenesha" to " fuck that b she's an alcoholic and she just wanted to steal my son". I mean she's literally crazy. She delusionally thought my husband would leave me to be with her be ause she wanted him to, even though they dated for a month, she disappeared and always said it was so Rome else's baby, but as soon as that guy did a DNA test and it came back negative all hell broke loose. My husband did one and turned out he was the dad. I wish I could publish her text messages, be ause everyone would get a kick out of them. She's even thrown a shot glass at me in a bathroom because she started talking crap so my friend told her you should be thankful your child has a mother figure while your busy partying.
She did not like that.