He has often been controlling and used to leave me with SS without asking for hours when he worked and we did not live together. And got peculiar about me seeing my friends especially if SS around. Though me and SS get on ok-he s now 16.
Now he's moved into my one bed flat. Because of space and these issues I felt it best SS not stay overnight and my depression and chronic fatigue. And then sometimes I feel guilty.
He rough shod over that and now SS stays every sat-sun. Then it sometimes starts being more two nights in a row. He is on a blow up bed. Now that's not OK I should get a sofa bed he says and goes on and on.. Tiresome and upsetting.
You are being abused. This man couldn't give a shit about you. He doesn't care about your health, he doesn't care about your feelings, he is far from being a significant other. He is a self centred bully. Like all bullies once you stand up to them they back down.
He didn't manipulate you, you allowr it. He bullies you, you allow it, he takes over your home you allow it. I guess you love him huh.
Well he sure as hell doesn't love you. He's using and abusing you. Next time he leaves the flat throw that blow up mattress out into the corridor and change the locks. If you can't get a locksmith there in time, have a friend on standby that can put a barrel bolt on your door, or do it yourself it doesn't cost much and is only about 4 screws needed to put it on, help yourself for goodness sake. You are your biggest problem, stop blaming this guy, you are to blame, you allow it, and your compliance encourages it. You knew what he was like, yet you let him back in. The message you gave him, your fine with the way he treats you.
He is a bully. Pack his shit and put him out. Oh, and blow up the mattress- then take an axe to it and put it with the rest of his stuff. Men like this prey on women like you- and even better if you have an illness that makes you physically weak, you're more likely to cave in their eyes! He is using you. You are worthy of and deserve better. God bless.
So, let him pay rent in his own place. That way he's free to have his son over as often as he likes.
You don't want his son around as much as he does, which is fine. Kick him out. As long as you're able to pay your bills on your own, the fact that he helps shouldn't matter at all.
You need to put you first. You need to put your mental, physical and emotional health ahead of him and SS, because SO sure as hell isn't. Life's too short to be dealing with this. Even if SS is ok, the SO isn't. He's not showing that he cares for you, he's taking advantage of your goodwill and he's teaching his son the same thing.
Look after yourself, because you can't rely on SO to do it.
An easy solution.... change the locks. SO is gone and you have your space and life back.
If your SO is not additive to your life then get rid of him. He is not contributing financially, he is manipulative and demanding. He is absolutely taking advantage of you.
Hi ty. He is contributing financially. I just feel guilty as I don't enjoy seeing his son as much but this may affect their relationship even though the pattern for ages has been every weekend, but SS is pulling away a bit, he has a girlfriend etc. S/O does little with him.
He has often been controlling
He has often been controlling and used to leave me with SS without asking for hours when he worked and we did not live together. And got peculiar about me seeing my friends especially if SS around. Though me and SS get on ok-he s now 16.
Now he's moved into my one bed flat. Because of space and these issues I felt it best SS not stay overnight and my depression and chronic fatigue. And then sometimes I feel guilty.
He rough shod over that and now SS stays every sat-sun. Then it sometimes starts being more two nights in a row. He is on a blow up bed. Now that's not OK I should get a sofa bed he says and goes on and on.. Tiresome and upsetting.
You are being abused. This
You are being abused. This man couldn't give a shit about you. He doesn't care about your health, he doesn't care about your feelings, he is far from being a significant other. He is a self centred bully. Like all bullies once you stand up to them they back down.
He didn't manipulate you, you allowr it. He bullies you, you allow it, he takes over your home you allow it. I guess you love him huh.
Well he sure as hell doesn't love you. He's using and abusing you. Next time he leaves the flat throw that blow up mattress out into the corridor and change the locks. If you can't get a locksmith there in time, have a friend on standby that can put a barrel bolt on your door, or do it yourself it doesn't cost much and is only about 4 screws needed to put it on, help yourself for goodness sake. You are your biggest problem, stop blaming this guy, you are to blame, you allow it, and your compliance encourages it. You knew what he was like, yet you let him back in. The message you gave him, your fine with the way he treats you.
He is a bully. Pack his shit
He is a bully. Pack his shit and put him out. Oh, and blow up the mattress- then take an axe to it and put it with the rest of his stuff. Men like this prey on women like you- and even better if you have an illness that makes you physically weak, you're more likely to cave in their eyes! He is using you. You are worthy of and deserve better. God bless.
I agree with growing a
I agree with growing a backbone.
You are allowing this, you have yourself to blame. Kick him out now.
What a nasty guy! So he and
Hi, he is now contributing to
Hi, he is now contributing to the rent/bills. I find it so hard standing up to him, he is very nasty. Everything is 'but he's my son' etc.
So, let him pay rent in his
So, let him pay rent in his own place. That way he's free to have his son over as often as he likes.
You don't want his son around as much as he does, which is fine. Kick him out. As long as you're able to pay your bills on your own, the fact that he helps shouldn't matter at all.
You need to put you first.
You need to put you first. You need to put your mental, physical and emotional health ahead of him and SS, because SO sure as hell isn't. Life's too short to be dealing with this. Even if SS is ok, the SO isn't. He's not showing that he cares for you, he's taking advantage of your goodwill and he's teaching his son the same thing.
Look after yourself, because you can't rely on SO to do it.
An easy solution.... change
An easy solution.... change the locks. SO is gone and you have your space and life back.
If your SO is not additive to your life then get rid of him. He is not contributing financially, he is manipulative and demanding. He is absolutely taking advantage of you.
Time to purge him from your life.
IMHO of course.
Take care of yourself.
Good luck.
Hi ty. He is contributing
Hi ty. He is contributing financially. I just feel guilty as I don't enjoy seeing his son as much but this may affect their relationship even though the pattern for ages has been every weekend, but SS is pulling away a bit, he has a girlfriend etc. S/O does little with him.
You are your own worst enemy
You are your own worst enemy here. Sorry.