Parental alienation

Forums:

Hi, all! I've been trying to learn more about parental alienation because I strongly believe SD3 is being PASed (can it even happen this young??). What are some major symptoms/signs we should keep our eyes open for? I'd love to hear some stories/experiences/whatever from some of you!

things ive noticed: SD13

things ive noticed:

SD13 refuses to sleep over. ever. fiance is entitled to 2 weekends per month thus 2 overnights. BM does not force her or encourage her to fulfill visitation saying whether she goes or not is up to SD. when fiance tried to enforce the parenting plan, BM filed to have fiance's visitation removed (judge threw oout her motion without even hearing it). BM tells SD that its dad's fault they are now embroiled in a custody battle. further, on the nights she is supposed to stay with us and doesnt, she gets rewarded by BM in the form of having her best friend sleepover.

she never wants to bring anything home that we've made together or that ive made for her (i.e., baked goods)

she goes for days without texting/calling/communicating in any way with fiance.

we hear a lot of "mom lets me" when we tell her no to something. she also responds constantly with "you guys are so mean".

BM refuses to have her do her homework in the 1.5 hours she has before her weekday visits start. fiance then becomes the bad guy as he is forced to make her do homework during the visit. BM doesnt make her finish it when she returns home after the visit. school sends out notice of incomplete homework. fiance gets mad at SD for not being responsible. BM tells SD that she's trying very hard and rewards her with friend time/sports/school dances/etc.

not sure if this is PAS or not, but its pretty f-ing annoying just the same.

fiance does all pick up and

fiance does all pick up and drop off.
we have not (yet) had a situation where he's gone over there and she refuses to come out. he always gets a call that she is "refusing to go" and fiance simply documents it and moves on.

teh court told BM it actually IS her job as the custodial parent to follow visitation and the parenting plan. so i think she should be forcing her to go. it is our understanding that she tells her she doestn have to go if she doesnt want to where she shoudl be saying "you have to go its what your dad and i agreed to in court".

i dont "expect" her to bring stuff home. i just find it odd that ill make something she loves and she never wants to bring it home. one time i did send her with her favorite flavor cupcake taht id bought for her that day while running an errand. she gave it to her friend in the car on the ride home (which asnwers you other question that yes, she is allowed friends and we've told her any and all are always welcome at our home, including for sleepovers.

the point with the homework is that it isnt even started before she arrives. from what ive seen of her homework is very, very basic (she is in the lowest levels of all classes and barely holds a C average). her dad (and I) believe school should be her first priority in life, not socializing. we know once she goes back to her mom afer hte visit she's given all her electronics (we dont allow them at our home) and then she gets distracted and doesnt finish the homework.