Pulling my hair out!
This is really aggravating. Wednesdays are chore day in our house. All 4 kids are here, and they each have a job to do. SS8, DD8 and DS5 all understand this, and do a beautiful job for the most part. SS11 on the other hand, has never completed any task to a satisfactory level. I have spoken to DH about SS11 being spoiled, over privileged, and under-deserving when it comes to the kids overall. He agrees, and has put his foot down about it.
So here's my annoyance... SS11 has started complaining about his leg hurting, mostly his ankle, which allegedly began this summer (roughly 3 months after discovering DH suffers psoriatic arthritis) He describes the pain in a similar way to that of DH. And whenever he knows something is expected of him, his pain miraculously returns now. It's getting worse. He went to his doctor, who took blood, which came up negative. So he has another appointment on Friday. DH let him limp his way up the stairs, and lay in bed while the rest of us were getting things done. Meanwhile, the laundry I asked SS11 to fold yesterday, was thrown all about the room, nothing in any kind of comprehensible pile, so I basically, had to redo it all, and brought it up for them. He also, left his coat at school, and wore a gift my mother gave him to his BM's, so we can kiss that good-bye as well.
DH wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, until they hear from a doctor there's nothing wrong with him. But, here's my thing: This child has stayed home from school due to this pain, only to run upstairs and chase his brother around the house, horseplaying...this child has also got himself an IEP for poor behavior at school, when all came out, it was deemed a "learned behavior" (IOW he was faking). I guess I'm in for more of a rant now. I know DH will kick some serious ass if SS11 is making this up. But it is so irritating to have to pick up the slack, because DH physically cannot. This totally sucks.
Oh, and to add to the fun, SS8 is supposed to be at gymnastics, and looks like BM isn't bringing him, because he's playing an online game with my kids. DH is on his way to gymnastics now, I'd better warn him.
Same thing I was thinking.
Same thing I was thinking. Fold laundry on his bed.
This is a fantastic idea! DD8
This is a fantastic idea! DD8 suggested we go ice skating for fun. This is something SS11 really loved doing, and really won't be able to all wounded. But, I think what will really help is a nice trip with the 4 of us to TCBY after dinner, just for thanking them for the great job. Thanks for the advice! I'm all over it next week! Can't wait to see how it pans out!
Yup, reward the others. He
Yup, reward the others. He has to stay home due to his 'condition'. Nope, can't do xy and z because of his 'condition'. When he missed a few outings to Dairy Queen or the movies because it would be too difficult for him to walk/sit for too long due to his (all together!) condition, I would think a miraculous recovery will occur in the space of 2 weeks.
You are totally right! I will
You are totally right! I will have to subtly explain this to DH though...so he won't try and "even" things up with him.
LOL...if you give SS11 a
LOL...if you give SS11 a consolation prize, you'll never get another consolation prize from me again!
Our BM is the same way... SD
Our BM is the same way... SD has the sniffles, she must be dying from some off the wall sickness, and rushes to the hospital. SD is only 3, and trys to get out of doing things by saying she has a tummy ache or her head hurts. So FDH and I send her to her room, and once she hears us having fun with DDs, she feels so much better. But we usually have her stay in her room until we're done with the activities... Its amazinghow she would have a tummy ache 3 out of the 4 days sshe's here, but now that she realizes she's missing out, she NEVER has any kind of aches. Lol
What if SS11 does have
What if SS11 does have something wrong just as your DH has? Psoriatic Arthritis is a genetic disease and often times starts in youth but can subside until you are a later adult. Also considering that he had an "IEP" but apparently was faking it could mean that he is having some sort of depressive issue. Is he in therapy? Just as your DH is giving the benefit of the doubt until you hear from the Dr. you could try and do the same.
I agree with southpaw and
I agree with southpaw and waiting to hear from doctor just incase this is a new started illness you would feel bad about this!! Also tell him that he can fold laundry for his chores instead of what ever he was suppose to do and give him all the sitting down chores you can think of. If he is sitting on the couch when it's chore time, bring the laundry to him and the hangers. I do this with my 16 year old so the chores get done and my 6 year old so I can keep an eye on them! Give him a job of sorting something....requires sitting. See where I am going with this? Make him relize that if this is a behavior to get out of doing things that maybe it would be better to do the things he is suppose to do instead. Take the TV card away because that can cause headaches and this may make his leg worse....:) my four year old is super at trying to get out of doing things I want him to do until that TV card is pulled then he's fine!! He loves his super heros and if he can't see them daily he freaks out!! LOL good luck.
Okay, after multiple blood
Okay, after multiple blood tests, and xrays, they still don't know what's wrong with the child. It must be an anomaly. He walks around on crutches, except when he's chasing my 5 year old around the house with a nerf gun, or sitting on him, or pulling on his shirt sleeve from 4 feet away....but here's the added fun. Yesterday, the kids get home from school, perfectly normal day. They do their homework, I get dinner ready, the younger ones are playing nicely, SS8 loves doing gymnastics in the basement on the mats, and dunking hoops in our mini basketball hoop down there...all is good... then dad comes home from work.
Then at dinner SS8 started putting his head down on his plate, and started complaining that HIS legs hurt. And he started limping all over the house. Even DD8 and DS5 said "He's only doing this because you're home (DH)" This morning, DH asked me to write a note stating SS8 can't participate in gym because of his leg pain (that he allegedly got from rollerskating 2 days ago). When the bus came, he ran all the way down the driveway, out of DH's view. I told DH "You need to understand he was totally fine all afternoon yesterday, and he just ran to the bus." DH's response was that he really doesn't care...in all fairness, it looks like DH is suffering a lot of pain this morning from his diagnosed condition.
So now, all three of them are suffering problems with their legs, and are having trouble walking, while the 3 of us are staring at them all confused. What's a gal to do?
Nope, if he is not dead he
Nope, if he is not dead he does his chores. The longer he takes to do them the longer he sits there with his job surrounding him. No meals, no down time, no nothing until he is done. The more he cries the longer it takes him to get the job done.
The only way to bring this point home is a no quarter no tolerance perspective with this crap.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.