Another social media issue
Please bear with me for a little background before my question...
I know a lot of people have issues with social media and I know that for the most part I should not look and should de-friend SD20. However, because we do not get notice that she is in town, sometimes I find out on twitter or FB, so I have a little notice. Here is a perfect example:
Last year, when I asked Skids if they were coming to our friends house for 4th of July, SD told me no, she had internship in big city and was going to stay. Three days before party by friend wanted a headcount, I sent out texts to skids, again SD said no, my SSs said yes. Two days prior I see a FB post about SD and SS's SO were coming home for the 4th. When I sent her a text, no answer. I texted my OSS24's SO, she said that she and SD were flying back together. I also finally got a response back from MSS, who told me about SD. I told DH that SD was coming in for July 4th, he refused to believe me because SD did not tell him when he spoke with her. I asked DH why would OSS's SO and MSS lie, he said "I don't know." So, of course I was right and only knew because of FB.
OK the point...
I googled my SD name to see what was on her Twitter account (do not have an account, do not want her to see that I have seen her comments,...)...there was our family picture (on vacation with DH, me, Skids and BS2) from 5 years ago, she posted it for TBT (throw back Thurs) but cut me out of it and said "Perf"
I am not sure what I should do...I obviously can't say anything to her or have my DH say anything, because then she "wins." I have told DH in the past about her postings and pix of the OG3 (Original 3, her and 2 SSs), usually it is with BM and states "perfect family." So this is a new low. My DH is EXTREMEMLY sensitive regarding his daughter. Usually he just says, "I am disappointed, but what am I supposed to do?" He is right , there is nothing to do. Any type of reaction will only intensify her attempts to hurt me with other pictures. I guess I want him to disengage from her, but he won't. I actually think that she could do ANYTHING any he would "forgive" her and blame himself and the divorce for her behavior and buy her an expensive purse.
Not sure if this is a vent or question for advice...
I agree, we have made a
I agree, we have made a decision and I need to disengage. My therapist says to disengage, but to limit skid time with BSs, secondary to bad influence, disrespect of me and DH,....it is extremely hard.
My DH is not in agreement that his kids Re bad influence (rose glasses and all) and when they come into town, my DH stops everything in case they MAY want to spend time with us. We have 2 kids together 3 & 6. My DH wants the skids and DSs to have relationship. I do not want them to have a relationship with my kids that excludes me, so it is important to know when they are in town.
Another example that has happened a few times where My DH has come home and said "SS wants to go to dinner in 15 min, lets get DSs ready." Usually it is 6:30' dinner is made and bedtime is at 8, because it is a school night. I explain that he can go, I will stay with boys and take care of DSs, he usually leaves in a huff and is pissed for days, so if I can prevent a sneak visit I do.
Thanks for advise
she's a special kind of
she's a special kind of bitch!! stop looking, she's not worth the space you're giving her n your head
The problem is that because
The problem is that because my DH wants the Skids and BSs to have a relationship, he has lied saying he is taking BS out for a guys lunch, watch sports,...then I find out that Skids "happened" to be free and went out to have "quality" time. I do not want them to corrupt my kids. My DH never hears their offensive comments, when I am there, I correct them. It is almost comical of what he hears and doesn't hear sitting in the same seat. I had to take BSs away from a lunch once because oft MSS disrespect. So of course I am the one to blame, for their lack of relationship.
When I found out what they were planning a lunch another time, I told my DH that I really wanted to go to lunch with he and BSs. He gave me a hard time, saying that it was only going to be them, I still went. Shocker ,MSS and SD showed up, I just looked at my DH, "how was I supposed to know." I looked at him and said, "see, it was a good thing I decided to come, so we could all have lunch together." All with an all knowing smile on my face. He was pissed, but I don't care.
So, I still believe I need to know when they will be around so as to make other plans or to be there to protect my kids.
I guess I am still trying to justify my snooping...I know I have a problem
I'm sorry you and DH aren't
I'm sorry you and DH aren't on the same page. I'd stop snooping and start marriage counselling if it were me. The lies would be our undoing (for me) - I really wish you well!
I took SD off my FB
I took SD off my FB notifications but Im still "friends" with her. She does that same stupid crap, she put up memes talking about me, Im not stupid. I don't even say anything to my DH, he knows I don't like her, I don't want to change things. Soon enough Ill probably block her from my FB wall and just keep her dumbass as a friend, so I don't cause an uproar.
Just don't even contact her anymore, these DHs have nothing but rose colored glasses when it comes to their daughters. Be cordial but just don't engage with her. Talk to the Skids you get along with, act like she doesn't exist.
I would pass along to DH that the lying has got to stop, I can't stand liars. it drives me up the wall.
Leave it, it is a choice she
Leave it, it is a choice she made and there is nothing you can do about her choices. yes, it makes you feel crummy inside but she isn't being straight with you anyway. You say anything and just like you mentioned it going to be you in the wrong and nothing but a headache. She has made her feelings known with this photo and maybe it was good that you saw it as if she is trying to play both sides, you now see the truth and this might give you some direction with her in the future.
IGNORE it!! She is baiting
IGNORE it!! She is baiting you and it would just cause more drama if you bring it up. As well, stay away from her as much as you can. protect your bios however you can, they do not need to be pulled into this. Steps probably just want to see bios because they know it bothers you.
If they are a part of you I am sure they don't really care about them as much as they try to convince Daddy.
Your DH is a doofus for allowing this BS. He should stop lying and being secretive with them. He is enabling the bad behaviour.
I agree with the above. Your
I agree with the above. Your DH lying to you about who is going to be around your bio kids is a way bigger problem than this girl posting pics of her "perfect" family. Please address it before it tears your marriage apart. You deserve the truth.
I'm so sorry, I know exactly
I'm so sorry, I know exactly how you feel. I feel like I have to keep an "social media eye" on what they do. Otherwise if I waited for DH to tell me I get last minute surprises. The other issue is the way they like to exclude me. I don't like being around them but it would be nice if I could have something to do while he's with them, right?
As of the last couple of weeks, I have been defriended. And what's worse is I have been "blocked" by the BM while my DH and her are still friends. Really???. I hate that I feel like I need to keep track, but just being honest, when they are around the ex believe it or not the snotty, stuck up, hateful little attitudes get even worse.
Its a positive thing to be defriended, I know this. However they still post mean stuff about me, that all his family sees. It drives me so nuts. I wish I could get passed it, but unfortunately it all comes back to DH. His behavior has allowed this to continue on... If your DH said to remove that picture, its NOT OKAY-I think you would feel so much better. And if he did this often there would so much less insecurity... Its so sad...