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vacation lies . why?

SMof2Girls's picture

DH and BM each get one uninterrupted week of vacation each year; they just have to provide notice to the other party of when/where they're going.

DH notified BM of our week and that we'd be going to Ocean City (specifics hadn't been nailed out).

BM replied, almost immediately, with her week and that she's taking the girls to Myrtle Beach, SC.

Skids came over this weekend talking about their plans to go to Puerto Rico this summer with their mom. When DH asked, do you mean Myrtle Beach, they said "No, that's just what mommy told YOU, we're really going to Puerto Rico"

Why lie about it? They don't need a passport, and even if they did, DH wouldn't deprive them of this opportunity to go.

QueenBeau's picture

At least they're going SOMEWHERE. BM asked for an extra week last summer, promised SD a vacation etc.

Didn't go anywhere. -sigh-

SMof2Girls's picture

Well that's still a very real possibility. BM hasn't taken skids on vacation in at least 3 years. She just had a baby, who will be about 6 months old by the time this trip rolls around. I assume she's planning on taking him, but maybe not. Who the heck knows ..

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

I-m so happy This is true. I-m so happy BMs are weird animals. When BM learned we were going to Mexico sans skids (I paid and wanted AWAY), she used it to further alienate SSthen13. SS who had just returned from his umpteenth trip to Disney World said, and I quote, "But Mexico costs a lot more than Disney!" Weird stuff.

SMof2Girls's picture

Oh, they know. Skids weren't actually the ones lying, they just knew their mom was. Assuming it was a lie .. she may have legitimately had a change of plans. Why she wouldn't communicate the change is beyond me .. I guess she likes to keep DH in the dark about anything in her home (not that I blame her, we don't over-share with her either). But you'd think a parent would give a little head's up if you're leaving the continental US with their kids ..

SMof2Girls's picture

The skids didn't actually lie to us .. they just know that BM did. In all honesty, she may have originally planned to go to SC and just changed their minds. I mean, the vacation is still 4 months away .. plans DO change.

On the topic of lying, we were driving the skids to school this morning and a story was on the radio. A girl had snuck bf into her house. Dad woke up and thought it was an intruder. He asked daughter if she knew who it was and she said no. Dad shot the bf thinking he was a threat to his family.

SD7 (stb8) who was listening to the story said, "See, that's why you shouldn't lie. People can really get hurt if you don't tell the truth".

SMof2Girls's picture

No doubt she's hiding something. We're used to that.

Do you really think it's unsafe? I did some brief internet searches and it says it's relatively safe if you stay in tourist areas. I know nothing about the country ..

Not sure if you need a passport to go there or not, but again, she's said nothing to DH so I'm assuming she's planning on giving him as little notice as possible. If she needed passports for the girls, I'd think she would want to start that process sooner rather than later.

SMof2Girls's picture

Yeah, that's what I kind of figured. I assumed it would be similar to the US Virgin Islands.

SMof2Girls's picture

I can't believe she'd lie to them about something like this .. I mean, I guess I could, but she's not one to blatantly lie about something so big. She's great at lying "just enough" to not get caught or to not be easily called out .. especially when it comes to the skids.

Orange County Ca's picture

BM should get passports anytime you leave the continental U.S. The plane could make an emergency landing anywhere. But Jeeze Puerto Rico? Unless I had friends there I wouldn't want to visit except maybe there is a spa there where tourists are safe and you never go out the front gate guarded by armed guards. A guided tour where the guides know where and when to go maybe?

Kids specifically said Mom misled Dad so this is no change in plans. But lets see what BM says. I'm sure Daddy is going to ask "What are the kids talking about PR"?

SMof2Girls's picture

I honestly think the skids know that BM lies to DH often. I mean, she didn't say "mommy told us not to tell you" or "mommy didn't tell you the truth" .. I think maybe they are just used to DH asking about things and telling them that's different than what he was told by their mom.

He doesn't do this to bash BM .. he does it to make sure the skids know they talk and that they aren't lying or manipulating either parent. But apparently that's not really happening if BM is clearly not telling the DH the truth.

tryingmom's picture

"No, that's just what mommy told YOU, we're really going to Puerto Rico"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

So the skids know Mommy lies...nice. DH should raise this "concern" with BM, this is teaching the skids it's ok to lie to DH. PAS much?
Edited to add: I saw above that the skids didn't lie, just that BM is showing the skids that it is ok to lie.

Ocean City sounds great! Spent many summer vacations with my Grandmother there. Smile

SMof2Girls's picture

Which is completely inconsistent with punishment she doles out to skids for lying. I'm talking several spankings over the span of several hours until the skids tell her the truth ..

I've been vacationing in Ocean City since I was a kid Smile My whole family goes, we rent a big house, and just unwind for a week. August can't come soon enough!

SMof2Girls's picture

If it were one of the skids, we would absolutely call it out.

What do you do when it's a grown ass woman?

SMof2Girls's picture

Yeah .. ONE time DH pointed out that BM was wrong about something (schedule related) and they both immediately got upset and defended her. Not in a PAS way, but in a "people make mistakes, she probably just forgot" kind of way.

DH doesn't want to involve them in the disputes between him and BM. If he's calling out her lies, he's doing it to her, not the skids.

peacemaker's picture

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proudstepmommy's picture

At least BM is (hopefully) going to take the kids somewhere!

Our BM is well known to stretch the truth (shocker lol). This year she told SD11 that she was going to take their whole family on a CRUISE. gee I wonder where she'll get the $. (She hasn't worked in over 5 months).

Smh

SMof2Girls's picture

That's true .. skids would love a vacation with her. NO doubt she's trying to one-up DH since he takes them on at least one vacation a year and she hasn't done any in several years.

I wonder how much the skids will enjoy the beach when mom is tethered to her new infant. I can't imagine they'll be thrilled at the restrictions a baby on the beach requires.