It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. All has been going pretty smoothly at my house. Mostly because I have little or nothing to do with SD when she deems our house worthy of visiting, aside from saying hi or bye, or responding to her when she talks to me.

A couple weeks ago she did come over one night. The four of us were sitting down to dinner at our table, which seats 4. SD had left her laptop at one of the places and sits down at one of the empty seats, leaving her grandmother the space with the laptop. I see that grandma is sitting at the corner of the table on a backless, cushionless, stool instead of sitting in the comfortable chair since the computer is there. I ask SD to put her computer in her room. She gets an immediate attitude, so her tells her to put it away. Her response “Can I finish eating first”….with major attitude. He tells her to put it away. She snatched that computer up with such force that the Ipod cord attached to it came within an inch of hitting her grandmother in the face. Of course, I was the only one who saw this.

FF to last night. DH, DD, SD and I were in the kitchen and DD tells SD that she wishes she could come with us this weekend. SD responds in her typical smart-mouthed, duh why are you stupid enough to talk to me, way and says “It’s mother’s day weekend!”. (I know, the words were harmless, but just imagine the attitude they were said with…I know you know what I’m talking about ) So I said to SD that DD was just making a statement and there was no need to be so smart with her. So she says, again in that smartass attitudy way “okayyyy”. I told her that was enough of the attitude….and DH jumps in my ass about it! I told him I was not going to allow her to talk to my daughter like crap, nor was I going to allow her to disrespect me in my home. So he was like “I’m going to take up for my daughter too”. I just said WTF-ever and walked away.

He came downstairs and proceeds to tell me how tired he is of me treating his daughter like crap, blah, blah, blah. I asked for examples and he couldn’t come up with any. I just plain out told him that I was not going to be disrespected and I wasn’t going to allow my daughter to be. I told him that his daughter needs to learn how to treat people, because she thinks she can talk to anyone any way that she wants and God forbid anyone even look at her in a way she doesn’t like, because the world ends. I went on to add that I can’t stand when she is there because everyone coddles her and she treats everyone like they’re the scum of the earth. I am resentful that my 9 year old daughter has responsibilities around the house, and rules, etc, but his 16 year old comes and sits her ass in her room the entire time she is there, does nothing around the house, and doesn’t even help with the dog….which was one of the conditions of getting the dog. I told him that I am sick of her using me as the excuse as to why she doesn’t come to the house very often, and that she only uses me as an excuse to make herself feel better for treating her dad like a second-hand citizen. He did end up apologizing to me and I did admit that I am very resentful of the fact that there are no expectations of her to treat people nicely while in our home, and it sometimes causes me to not enjoy it when she is there. I also asked him if he disagrees with me or something I do regarding the kids, to not call me out like that in front of them, because all he is doing is making me out to be the bad guy, even more than I already am. After all, he's the fun one who lets her do whatever she wants, and I'm the mean one who expects her to show basic courtesy.

So, this morning after DH and SD left to take her to school DD told me that she knows why SD doesn’t come over very often. Apparently after I went downstairs last night SD told DD that “this is the reason I don’t come over”. I told DD that I am not the reason that she doesn’t come over, that she’s allowed to do whatever she wants at her mom’s house and isn’t allowed to here, and THAT is the reason she doesn’t come over. So, I texted my husband when I was on the way to work this morning to tell him that he and I needed to have a talk with SD about this because I’m sure she no longer wishes to join us at the beach this summer for a week-long vacation. I mean, if I’m the reason she doesn’t come over, she surely doesn’t want to be around me for one week…wouldn’t you think. I know it would accomplish nothing, but again, it's her wanting only what she wants. She uses me as an excuse to not come over because she doesn't want to come over (which is fine with me) BUT I'm okay to spend the week with at the beach because that's something SHE wants to do.