Not my circus!
DH INFORMS me last night after I get home from the gym that the boyfriend will be coming home with SD15 in the bus tomorrow, because DH will be taking them to the band banquet! Problem with this? DH will not be home until 6 p.m...bus gets here around 4 p.m.! I flat out told DH this was not a good idea, and that I was NOT cutting my work day short and coming out of my office to babysit them! He starts with the, "Well, they are just going to sit and watch TV." I tell him, "Yeah, and make out on the couch? You know I would have NEVER let the other kids have a boyfriend or girlfriend over unsupervised!" DH tries to give me the line that they aren't dumb enough to do that. I was like, "Really? But she's dumb enough to do all the other dumb things she's done?" DH says that SD15 is too scared of me, and since they never know when I will pop out of my office.
I told DH again that they WILL BE UNSUPERVISED, because I'm not coming out of my office to babysit them! Period! He's still okay with the boyfriend coming over....dumbass!
what good will it do tho,
what good will it do tho, punkin? the dad will watch it, see what they do, and either find excuses, say its ok or somehow deduce that what is being taped/seen didnt really happen.
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Y
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You can show most of these men a video of their little darling ridin' her bf like a cowgirl and he'll claim they were "just pretending because they knew you had a nannycam!" :sick:
I'm sure they are scared of
I'm sure they are scared of you popping out of your office which is why they'll go in the garage and if they hear someone coming they'll pull their pants up and pretend to be cleaning the garage.
Sounds like you may be
Sounds like you may be recollecting something from your past??
How about this? Meet SD and
How about this? Meet SD and BF at the door when they get home and simply state you're sorry but the BF can't stay now but is welcome to return at 6pm when DH gets home.
Will SD throw a fit? Probably. Say something embarrassing? Likely. Call Daddddeeeyyy right there on the spot to demand him to override you? Yeah.
So what? Your house your rules. Calm, centered, and in control. Send the BF away, adding 6pm works and be done with it.
Sends a very powerful message to DH and SD that when they try to circumvent Can'tKeepDoingThis, but it won't work.
(No subject)
:jawdrop:
oh soccer....
oh soccer....
Oh, soccer...I'm just waiting
Oh, soccer...I'm just waiting for that myself! DH is always letting SD15 hang out at the boyfriend's house! She spent the night a few weeks ago, because his sister is about the same age as SD15 (he is 2 years older), and the boyfriend was supposedly not there. Like I really believe that one! "Oh, I seriously doubt his parents would let her spend the night if he were there!" Really? How well do you know his parents? YOU DON'T!
My DH is in denial!
My DH is in denial! Seriously! He believes that SD15 is too smart to be having sex. Yeah, the same girl who has been in trouble for alcohol and pot since she was 13 is too smart to have sex! I know this girl's mother...BM got pregnant with SD15 while she and DH were just dating...so DH married her. After the first year, BM was caught by DH with another man, and they were separated when BM "just didn't feel like being married". Then, there was the on again, off again relationship between BM and her current husband for most of SD15's life...while SD15 was living with her. The guy was living with BM at her parents' house, but she had broken up with him and was going out with other guys, leaving the guy taking care of SD15. Sure, they finally ended up married after BM ended up pregnant with his kid. However, I'm pretty sure the only reason she is still married to him is because she can no longer live at her parents' house, and she has no means to take care of herself. Since the birth of her son 5 years ago, she has grown to the size of a house from a size 4, because she is "too depressed to get out of be most days". So there is yet another guy now living with them who takes care of her son...one of her ex-boyfriends from what I understand, and the husband allows this!
So yeah, being raised by this woman most of her life...the master manipulator of men...SD15 is too smart to be having sex! That is why SD15 likes to walk around in butt shorts, cleavage and mid-drift showing, in clothes that are way too tight! I can promise you the girl is NOT a virgin! I've tried to tell DH, but he is in such denial! He refuses to even go get her on birth control he so believes that she isn't having sex! I WISH it was DH's worst fear...then maybe he would pay more attention!
OMG Soccerwifeandmom! My
OMG Soccerwifeandmom! My heart goes out to you. As screwed up as my SD8 is now I totally foresee this in her future as well. What is the plan? Is she going to have the baby? Adoption? Expect you to raise it?
You are a better person than
You are a better person than I am. I will keep you in my thoughts.
OMG! Please, I hope she puts
OMG! Please, I hope she puts the child up for adoption! I had my daughter at 18, and it was hard enough for me then. I couldn't have imagined being 14! Some may think me wrong for saying this, but any 14 year old girl who gets pregnant and wants to keep the child is selfish! They have to think about the baby! What is best for the child! I look back, and I wish I could have done so much more early on in my daughter's life. I did better than a lot of girls...I had the maturity and the brains. I basically lucked myself into a pretty good job...signed up for a temp service because I had mad typing skills being a computer geek since age 10. I landed a 2 week assignment that was really an office "trying out" people to find someone they wanted to keep long term...but I didn't know that going in. I went in...busted my tail, and that 2 week assignment ended up being a 7-year job with benefits and pretty good pay for my age. Most aren't that lucky!
I went into community college when BD23 was about 18 months old, and that was very difficult! Luckily, again because of my brains, I was able to challenge the max number of credits that I could, take distance learning courses (where I could work around my schedule and didn't have to sit in a class), and get away with only a couple of classes a semester. Still took me 5 years to graduate from a 2-year college, and I had no outside life...it was work, student, mom...nothing else! I did get married and had my son in the middle of all of that, but my ex ended up being a useless SOB, so I was still basically doing it on my own.
Before I started working from home, when I actually got sick days, I used to watch things like Maury and stuff. These girls at 14, 15, and 16 pregnant and thinking they are going to keep their babies. They have no clue what is really like! Most of them do not have the maturity, brains, work ethic, or selflessness to do what I did!
I am truly praying for your situation. I pray that girl gets smart and puts that baby up for adoption...for her sake and that of the baby!
teen pregnancy doesnt have to
teen pregnancy doesnt have to "ruin your life" as so many say.
you have a chance to do something amazing - make a couple or family so happy with a child that they truly want and cannot have on their own. i hope you can convince yoru SD that is the way to go.
It really isn't her problem
It really isn't her problem but what if SD gets pregnant? Then she has a SD and a Sgrandkid to care for. Dad is a jerk. Why do the DHs think we are ALWAYS available to pick up their slack like it's no big deal and we should WANT to spend time with the darling skids. Idiots!
Yeah...he may try that...but
Yeah...he may try that...but considering I told him from the beginning that I had to work and wouldn't babysit, and he STILL okay'd it...yup...still HIS problem!
DH refuses to take her to get
DH refuses to take her to get on birth control, as he is in such denial that they are even having sex! BM won't take her to get birth control...for all I know, BM may be hoping that SD15 gets pregnant so that she can get the guy the marry her...the way BM works! BM would probably see $$$! Move SD15 back in...try to pry money out of DH in some way, and get welfare benefits into the house again which she currently cannot get any more because her husband makes too much money. BM really enjoyed her food stamps when she got them! If they have SD15 getting food stamps, then that is extra money in their pockets they aren't paying for food! Yeah...these people would actually think like that...trust me! It is sick!
Oh...still not my problem!!
Oh...still not my problem!! SD15 ends up pregnant, I will DEMAND that she go back to her mother's house! If not? Well, get ready to sign those papers! He will call me a hypocrite because I had my daughter my senior year of high school...but here is the BIG difference:
1) I was 18, and wasn't living at my parent's house when I got pregnant.
2) When I ended up moving back to my parents house, it was only for 6 months so I could actually finish high school and get on my feet.
3) While at my parent's house, I still paid my own way and mom rarely took care of my daughter. Only times she watched my daughter for me was the night of graduation, and while I was JOB HUNTING after graduation. Graduation was May 30th, I had a job, daycare set up, and my own apartment by August 1st! The school I went to happened to have child care on site, so my baby went to school with me each day, and I paid the fee to use the facility (which was actually that I had to work my off period in the daycare).
Bottom line...I was a lot more responsible and a lot less entitled and selfish than SD15. She can't even pick up her own crap, and spends after school asleep on the couch every day! There is no way in hell she will take care of a baby! So yeah...back to mommy where they have a live in babysitter, or DH can deal with it on his own, while I live my life elsewhere!
tabby yabba's got the best
tabby yabba's got the best idea. send the BF away - you are not obligated to let him into your home.
Tell your husband to make
Tell your husband to make sure that he has a chat to his daughter about safe sex and shows her where to find condoms.
They are just going to sit
They are just going to sit and watch TV???
That's a good one... what rock does your DH live under?
The Rock of Denial, right
The Rock of Denial, right where my fiance and BM both collectively sit.
when my fiance made a somewhat half-assed attempt to get BM to crack down on the dating thing with SD13 (She had a boyfriend for well over a year before fiance knew abotu it, learned abotu it via twitter and instagram, and doesnt approve of it and has yet to meet the boy and they will be together 3 years this fall) she said to him "i keep and eye on them, they arent doing anything wrong". his reply was "like your parents kept an eye on YOU?"
BM was 14 and fiance 18 when tehy started dating (married at 19 and 23). yuh, illegal much?!?!