Is he a good dad? If he is a good dad I think it is nice to acknowledge him on Father's day. Doesn't have to be anything over the top, just a card that says "happy father's day!" and write him a little not thanking him for being such a wonderful man and a good example to his daughter.

Not your dad...Now I do something for DH for each kid. But, he raises my son with me and is a good father. Also, I didn't start until two years ago and we just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Too early for you to do that and it is not your kid.

You can wish him a Happy Father's Day and make him a nice dinner. But, beyond that, not necessary. Especially if you have no relationship with your SD.

I would get him a card from you, some type of card acknowledging that he does a good job as a father. I wouldn't go overboard or do anything else though.

I agree - do nothing w/stepkid. She is ABSOLUTELY old enough to know its appropriate to do something for her own father for fathers day.
However, I would recommend getting DH a card/gift. It's just reassuring to him that he's doing a good job as a husband/father.

I would wish him Happy Fathers Day because I do this to all the fathers I know and leave it at that.

Since my SD NEVER does anything for her dad, I always take him out to eat wherever he wants. No, he's not my dad but I think he's a good dad and I will celebrate that, even if no one else does.

Since your SO is a lousy parent but you don't want to seem evil, I would get him a light, humorous FD card. That way, you are acknowledging that he's a dad, without saying he's a great dad.

I always get SO a fathers day card and sometimes a little present and usually make him a nice dinner.
I do not help SD13 get a present for him. That is up to BM. They usually get him a card and end up getting him something incredibly stupid that he will never use. Or something he already has. I think BM does this on purpose.

I like to recognize fathers day for him so he knows what a great dad I think he is

If he's a good dad and you wish to acknowledge him .. get him a lovey-dovey card that's clearly from his WIFE and sign your name to it. Make his favorite dish for dinner and just generally do for HIM. No need to involve his kid if she's not interested.

Question is .. if she asks for your help to pick something out, or give her a lift to the store to shop, would you do that?

I think your idea of just saying it and having nice meal is best. The reason I say don't do a card is that you are trying to disengage. Therefore, you want to send out the signal that your relationship to DH has absolutely doodly squat to do with SD. If you formally congratulate him for being a dad, on a subconscious level you are suggesting you have a 3-way relationship with him and his daughter. This will allow him to blur boundaries and turn to you for support in parenting her, subconsciously. I feel that if you do it just because you would do it to any dad, still HE would not read it that way but would read it as a subliminal message from you that you are actively interested in being her SM. I would do the verbal greeting and the food as a distraction tactic ie to stop him feeling hurt or rejected and to have a nice together time, but absolutely limited to those purposes.

I would simply say Happy Father's Day and be done with it.

I will take SS to get something for DH for Father's Day. I'd rather he receive a gift that I participated in than BM. DH will actually keep and use and love the gift this way, too. He shudders at the thought of wearing a shirt, for example, that BM picked out and paid for.

DH and I do not have children together. My children are long-distance and not a part of our everyday lives. That being said, we both buy each other thoughtful cards and gifts on Mother's Day and Father's Day. It is a way to acknowledge that role for each of us. I am quite disengaged and don't feel it blurs the line in his mind of my involvement in his child's life. It's just us telling each other, "Hey, I love you. You are a parent, and this is a day that we celebrate that." At the end of the day, I want my DH to feel love from me first and foremost. It has nothing to do with his kid.

For Mother's Day, my DH got me a sweatshirt I'd wanted, a necklace he knew I'd love, and a big surprise: a mother's ring. He consulted with my adult children about the ring, but he paid for it and had it made. He presented it to me as a gift from my children, not from him. He was simply trying to do something extra special for me because I'm his wife. So although I see I'm in the minority, I say why not show that love to him?