How did I become the cook and maid?????
I came into this marriage with an open heart and a deep love for my husband...
Now, I am holding a resentment toward my husband and his adult kids.
Whenever they need anything their dad says to let me know...like I am a receptionist or something.
I pick out the groceries we need, make the list, grab it off the shelves, even bag it all... then I get
to come home and make them all dinner while they talk to each other at the table...and I am only talked
to if it is in regards to how good the food is.
I hate living in a mess so I cleaned...now I am the only one cleaning and giving a crap at all.
I have become the maid and cook... my husband keeps saying that the kids are gonna help more (yeah right!)
help eat us out of house and home more like. The two adult step kids pay $100 each for rent and do I get
that for doing it all? no. I feel that if my husband did this for 8 years before I came along then it
should be his job now! the adult step kids have lost what little respect they did have for me because
they just go along with dad and see me as the cook and maid... they never clean or cook a thing... cause
good old step mom will... I am thinking of going on strike from this stuff.
Why are you thinking about
Why are you thinking about it?
If you want to work for slave wages I've go plenty to you can do around here and I'll say "Thank you".
You were taught to do these things by your mother who probably did the same for your father and you've transferred it over to your husband who is allowing you to do it. Only you can end it.
The kids should be paying current market rate for renting a room in your area and buying their own food. Tell Daddy he can keep the rent money and give it to them when they get married because its being done for the kids sake its not about the money.
Exactly! My first question
Exactly! My first question is how old are the adult stepkids? At MINIMUM each of them should be paying $200 a month for "rent" unless they are both enrolled in college full-time. Also, there needs to be some type of "exit plan" for them to eventually move out.
I used to do all of the cooking while SD24 and her lazy ass boyfriend just sat on their asses waiting to be fed like little baby birds. I got sick of it and demanded that one day a week, one of them is to cook.
Stop being a doormat and stop being a victim. No one is FORCING you to cook. As a matter of fact start grabbing take out or something on your way home, or go out for happy hour with some co-workers. They're all adults, they won't starve.
Then stop it. Stop shopping
Then stop it. Stop shopping and stop cooking and stop cleaning up after them.
Cook for yourself. Clean up after yourself. Do your own laundry.
Sooner or later Captain Jackass will figure it out.
MEN SUCK! 99% of them SUCK!
MEN SUCK! 99% of them SUCK! and we are to suck it up…our shitty families and religion and society think that it's up to women to take care of their families while the husbands continue doing as little as possible…it is time we all said "enough is enough".
Good lord. It has nothing to
Good lord. It has nothing to do with men "sucking" as you put it.
Technically the OP sucks
Technically the OP sucks because instead of setting boundaries in the beginning, she decided to become the chief cook and bottle washer.
This is her fault. Her H and skids are assholes but she's was the one who choose to pick up their slack.
How old are his kids and why
How old are his kids and why are they still living there? Oh, right, 'cuz rent is only $100.00 and they get everything else for free and everything done for them.
Have you talked to your husband about this?
I would stop doing anything for his kids and would talk to hubby about getting them out of the house and on their own.
Yep. Increase the rent
Yep. Increase the rent payments to at LEAST $200 a month. If they complain, just point to the door and tell them to go find a place cheaper than $200 a month. Hell, out here you would pay at LEAST $400-$500 a month just to rent a room in someone's house.
Yeah I guess I have allowed
Yeah I guess I have allowed it...thanks for the thoughts.
the adult SD's are 19 and 20.
I am playing cook and maid no more.
You were nice and they took
You were nice and they took advantage of it. Now they will learn what happens when they treat people that way.
yes I think they will.
yes I think they will.
Good for you! Definitely
Good for you! Definitely increase the rent if they aren't full-time college students. $100 a month isn't even worth collecting. Make things tougher on them.
I have always thought of
I have always thought of them... I realize now that it takes everyone to make a family work.
Putting others' needs over
Putting others' needs over yourself and expecting something in return; then getting resentful when that doesn't happen is somewhat of codependent behavior. I am trying to get away from that myself.
Have you ever thought about disengaging? Just because your H says for them to tell you doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. "Oh, that's nice." or "You might want to have your dad take care of that. Or do it yourself since you are an adult now."